What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

[forinborin]

AIBU to ask you what your post-apocalyptic occupation would be?

With all the recent news about the shortage of skilled workers - HGV drivers, farm labourers, and today there are news about an emergency visa scheme considered for abattoir workers, I started wondering what would I do if the modern society suddenly fell back into - well, not Dark Ages exactly - but, say, mid-late 19th century ways of living.

And realised that I actually have very little in terms of real-life tradeable skills. In a world without computers, my other skills are worth zero to the community, and I would probably immediately fall to the bottom of the newly established social order.

What about you?

Have a WWI sword - bit rusty - will travel - happy to be on perimeter look out watch as long as my glasses don't steam up & get a cup of tea every so often .

As a current therapist working with offenders, I’ll probably end up opening the first Zombie Rehabilitation Centre. On the side, I might work with the peri/menopausal militia to target their aggression appropriately (a point and go approach, probably).

@ThinkingMam

As a current therapist working with offenders, I’ll probably end up opening the first Zombie Rehabilitation Centre. On the side, I might work with the peri/menopausal militia to target their aggression appropriately (a point and go approach, probably).

I worked with offenders for a long time. It's fun. I'll volunteer at the ZRC when I'm not womanning the barricades.

I also volunteered in youth corrections so I could do some teaching. A is for Apocalypse, B is for Brains. That skill of thing.

I'm a midwife, so probably still a midwife!

I have no useful skills so I would be the village idiot! But to be brutally honest I’m not a runner and I wouldn’t run even if I was being chased so I’ll be one of the first dead so I wouldn’t need to worry about my lack of useful skills

I'll forage, tidy, and wrangle animals and kids. I'm an excellent catherd.

I'm a psychologist, but assuming that a simple post-apocalyptic life would eliminate some of our mental distress, there may be not much call for that.
So really I don't have a lot to offer. I would probably wash the dishes or pick fruit or something. I don't mind manual labour.

I’d have a go at being the survivor village drunk.

@Siriisatwat

I’d have a go at being the survivor village drunk.

Ooh I could actually be the village drunk too! I’d be awesome at that particular job!!

@Siriisatwat

I’d have a go at being the survivor village drunk.

There's a fierce competition for that highly coveted post already as I can see. How many years of experience are we talking Are? Are you able to blurt out ominous prophesies when under influence? Always a plus.

@momamama

I'm a midwife, so probably still a midwife!

Actually, on that one. A friend is a (very senior) midwife with a keen interest in the history of medicine, and she says that probably about 90% of the midwife core lore hasn't changed in hundreds of years. As in, medications change and obviously culturally things are very different, but she reckons she'd need just a few weeks to make a very 21st century professional midwife from a 18th century "village wisewoman" (18th century as we discussed it in the context of "Outlander" series)

@forinborin to be honest, I’m a terrible flirt when pissed and my eyesight isn’t great. I’d end up trying to shag a zombie and would get the whole village killed.

All those saying if he really doesnt want to go don't send him - I agree. But the DC is not saying he really does not want to go. He is unsure, which means he does want to go, but is anxious about it.

[quote Siriisatwat]@forinborin to be honest, I’m a terrible flirt when pissed and my eyesight isn’t great. I’d end up trying to shag a zombie and would get the whole village killed.[/quote]

Or it will help establishing diplomatic links with the zombie civilisation...

Waves to @ThinkingMam. I would also probably be doing pretty much what I do now, which is trauma-focussed therapy. I’m guessing there would be plenty of call for my services. I do also fancy a side order of ‘mysterious older woman who might be a witch and who lives in the edge of the community in a ramshackle house, and who no one is sure about - is she friendly or secretly farming the zombies?’

I have an NVQ Level 1 in Stage Combat but I’m guessing that’s not going to be much use. In truth it’s never been much use! I’m good at craft and foraging for materials so I guess I can keep the children entertained?! I’m not going to survive am I?

Actually, what would be really useful is a good working knowledge of simple mechanics and how to use levers and pulleys and stuff like that, and build simple machines that to move logs and break rocks and so forth. And how to build ploughs and artesian wells.

Has anyone else read Riddley Walker? That's the post-apocalyptic scenario I'm working on. I think it's set c. 1000yrs post nuclear apocalypse and is written in a sort of pidgen English dialect that completely gets into your head. I was half way through it before I realised it was set in East Kent, where I grew up. All around the A20.
Anyway, it's a great book, but also has some very handy insights into post-apocalypse living.

(No rumpa no dum no zantigen Eusa come)

I don't think anything I could do isn't already being done quicker by someone else. My best attribute according to DH is keeping him warm in bed at night. Maybe I could be a portable sort of human hot water bottle?

@Squooka I love Riddley Walker - saw a really good theatre adaptation in Manchester in the 80s too. It's one of my all time top 10 books.

In a world without opticians, once my last pair of glasses has broken it'll be any occupation which can accommodate only being able to see things when they're between 3 and 5 cm from my nose.

I can make pies. Can I barter pies for things?

@Squooka

Actually, what would be really useful is a good working knowledge of simple mechanics and how to use levers and pulleys and stuff like that, and build simple machines that to move logs and break rocks and so forth. And how to build ploughs and artesian wells.

Has anyone else read Riddley Walker? That's the post-apocalyptic scenario I'm working on. I think it's set c. 1000yrs post nuclear apocalypse and is written in a sort of pidgen English dialect that completely gets into your head. I was half way through it before I realised it was set in East Kent, where I grew up. All around the A20.
Anyway, it's a great book, but also has some very handy insights into post-apocalypse living.

(No rumpa no dum no zantigen Eusa come)

God, I used to teach Riddley Walker. Shall we be travelling puppeteers preaching the ills of nuclear fission?

I'll be the village healer/ban draoidh. I can make loads of herbal remedies, salves, balms, tinctures etc and I can forage for food/herbs. I can also grow food/herbs and seed save for future seasons. I'm also really good at making meals from almost nothing.
I can change an old fashioned Terry nappy, so I could pass that skill on when all the pampers run out.

What's interesting is that you can't do Stone Age forwards in the modern world. All the surface iron is gone so it would be impossible to do. What's interesting is... could you skip some and go straight to solar/wind/sustainable? Thailand has done it in some hill tribes. Just skipped over development stages straight to the future.

As well as plucking a pheasant I am actually quite good at wrapping presents - could that work - big leaves , string , bendy twigs - just a thought in case the apocalypse happens near Christmas