What is your post-apocalyptic occupation?

[forinborin]

AIBU to ask you what your post-apocalyptic occupation would be?

With all the recent news about the shortage of skilled workers - HGV drivers, farm labourers, and today there are news about an emergency visa scheme considered for abattoir workers, I started wondering what would I do if the modern society suddenly fell back into - well, not Dark Ages exactly - but, say, mid-late 19th century ways of living.

And realised that I actually have very little in terms of real-life tradeable skills. In a world without computers, my other skills are worth zero to the community, and I would probably immediately fall to the bottom of the newly established social order.

What about you?

Your dentist is here! And one of the best things I’m known for at my practice is pulling out teeth! No dying of abcesses with me, and I’m quick which without local anaesthesia will be an advantage.
I can forage, make wine, milk, pluck and gut, plus Dh is a dentist who can shoot and is excellent at plumbing and diy of all sorts so I reckon we might wonder about offering our services to a wide area outside our “settled” community.

@Yourheartwillleadyouhome

I can sing a thousand different songs with your children and make pretty fabulous pizza

Someone's got a bread starter, someone else can make mozzarella, we have a salami woman and you can assemble. We have PIZZA PEOPLE. PIZZA.

@Brody77 is 100% in.

Can I please be adopted by brody77 and her DH?

farmer or woodsman

I'm in! I can make acorn coffee (won't be partaking myself - it was disgusting - but if you like Barley Cup then you'll be sorted!) See also sloe gin - but will partake of that!

I'll join the Ents Committee - I'm a dab hand at shadow puppets by firelight (skill discovered in a remote house on Dartmoor with no electricity or mains services!) - it was a great evenings entertainment.

Also dab hand with pistol crossbow, firelighting (and sourcing natural tinder) and I have a kayak, which I'm sure will come in handy somehow!

I can knit blankets and scarves and hats, so basically, I'll be in charge of Frostbite Abatement. If gloves can be rectangles or squares, add them to my list.

I can boss. Anybody. I can boss them and make them think it was their idea to do .. whatever. Note: this has not been tested in times of war, nor on zombies, so perhaps I'm just big-headed.

I am excellent at tidying. Not so much cleaning, but man - I can make our caves or bunkers or dens look chic and elegant, or rustic and shabby chic. Name your style, and I'll tidy and fix until tis picture perfect.

That's about it. Yep, not much else to offer. Oh wait. I can shout. REALLY LOUD. So perhaps can scare off varmints?

I have nominated this for classics and am volunteering to form a Signals Unit with @SilentBob and @QueefofSheena as am also ex telecoms engineer

Chronic insomniac who will be on the roof every night keeping watch for the zombies.
Definitely not a farmer, can't even keep a house plant alive.

Growing veg, and also helping to re-start local textile production. I "just need to learn how to spin"... I grew a little flax this year as an experiment, and it worked. I'm sure spinning can't be that hard... I know a little of herbs and native plants, for basic medicinal purposes and dyeing, and I've also tried woodwork in the past. I'm having a go with whittling at the moment.

Bring on the zombies. I could do with more weaponry though.

@CaveMum

I’m good with horses and have worked in the racehorse breeding sector for years so I’ll breed and supply all the horses needed for farm work/general transport as you just know there will be a diesel shortage.

Many years ago didn’t we have a MN Zombie Apocalypse plan of hijacking a couple of cruise liners and floating off to a warmer climate? I distinctly remember a conversation about how easy they are to drive. Of course everyone also had their “Oh Fuck Rucksack” ready to go.

I thought it was Ark Royal?

I seem to remember discussions about whether zombies can live under water.

Wow look at all these skills (and how many archers do we have?!)

The good news is that rather than a single post-apocalyptic event causing us to enter a new Dark Age, I think we're more likely to have a slow slide or series of smaller events leading to our post-apocalyptic future, so still plenty of time to build on existing skills and learn new ones. We need a spreadsheet to keep track of existing skills and work out where there are gaps or shortages.
I hope that whatever leads to the post-apocalyptic world, it won't destroy all the books, so I am building a collection of useful manuals and reference books. I'm aiming to replicate the collection electronically on a small, low-power device though this project is going...slowly.

I can sew, knit and identify what’s safe to eat in the wild and can pickle and make jam.

I am also a decent shot with gun and slingshot.

A short career in nursing means I could still do some basic care and am sure I could still stitch people up, though it was decades ago.

On a bad note I have some mobility issues.

My sister has always said that knitting is a post apocalyptic life skill.

I can make cider, perry and wine from scratch. I have other skills like growing veg and knitting, but that seems to be the one most people are interested in.

I can knit scarves, socks, hats, cardigans, jumpers, ... You want it, I'll knit it. I just need someone to provide me with yarn.

I can also make candles, so if we end up without electricity we would at least still have candlelight.

I love the fact we will be the warmest and most pissed group of survivalists in the northern hemisphere.

Sod waiting for the apocalypse, let's just start an encampment in a nice forest somewhere now where we can all live in out cosy huts, wrap up warm in fluffy hand-knitted blankets round the campfire at night eating pizza and drinking homebrew cider and sloe gin.

Who's with me?!

@MintyCedric

Sod waiting for the apocalypse, let's just start an encampment in a nice forest somewhere now where we can all live in out cosy huts, wrap up warm in fluffy hand-knitted blankets round the campfire at night eating pizza and drinking homebrew cider and sloe gin.

Who's with me?!

I reckon if we all chipped in we could buy a nice estate in Scotland or somewhere to set up a MN commune.

Something like this perhaps, a steal at just under £2 million - 10 bed house with 13 acres, so plenty of room for Yurts/tents and a farm.

Borthwick Hall, Heriot, Midlothian
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/86026264

Or perhaps if you want to be more remote, with more land, but a bit pricier - 10 bed castle with 53 acres:

Earlshall Castle, Leuchars, St. Andrews, Fife, KY16
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/73054537

Or if anyone scooped that EuroMillions last night, there’s this for just over £11million. Only 6 bedrooms but almost 1,500 acres of land so plenty of space for all MNers!

Careston, By Brechin, Angus, DD9
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/114523841

I will be a medicine woman treating animals first humans next. I'll then no doubt be burnt at the stake after being dragged through the villages with people screaming 'witch'

Count me in!
I'm a beekeeper, so bring honey, candles and lip balms/ soaps to the table.
Previous career in Massage therapy.
Can cook / bake / pickle / preserve.
Can Forrage, Shoot and Fish.

Gardening, children/chicken wrangling, can bring a few cricket bats/hockey sticks for beating zombies up, maybe keeping records?

I'm a lecturer so I suppose I could teach? Also very good at growing veg and cooking. Used to be a union rep so could be useful in sorting out any disputes.

Oh, and I make really nice mead.

I don't drink so don't mind taking watch while everyone else is pissed.
You will need to bribe me with fags and coffee though.