What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had?

[Giantwaterbottle]

I remember mine and physically cringe. DS1 is very bright, learned to walk and talk early and had a good vocabulary. So bright and developmentally at the top end (younger DS slower on all counts but both totally normal) but not exceptional.

Being shown round a lovely nursery and I said on more than one occasion how he was "really very smart" and that the doctor had said how clever he was (local GP had said she's very good speech wise and health visitor had said similar.

I cringe so hard every time I think about it. He goes to that nursery and whenever I see the head who showed us around I just think about how much of a wanker I must have seemed 😭😫😆

PFB threw herself back for the first time whilst I was holding her sitting on a table. I caught her and she lightly banged her head. Jumped in the car screaming at DH to take us to A and E (we were on holiday). DH convinced me that she was fine (not his first child) and that I could ring 111 if I needed to. They were very patient whilst I was completely panicked.

I was awful!

@ifIwerenotanandroid

As a non-Mum I find these beautiful. I don't think I could ever have coped with having a baby. I would SO have been the one banging my head on the floor to reproduce the sound...

Me too! While holding my best friend's newborn daughter I laughed a bit loud and worried for about an hour I'd deafened her for life, I think it's best I stick to cats

@Tataru

This thread is brilliant! I can't recall anything overly precious, but I do remember googling what baby nipples looked like cos I thought DD's looked so weird, just like tiny little pinpricks, and I was worried she would have no nipples . And then worrying I was on some sort of list for searching for 'baby nipples' online.

I was vindicated when my best friend came to visit and I was dressing DD and she said 'Is that what baby nipples look like?!' and I was like 'YES, I KNEW THEY LOOK ODD'. Or maybe it's just the two of us.

😂😂😂

Took DS1 for his first jabs and cried all the way though because my poor baby was in pain. Also did the breastfeeding a baby in a car seat on the motorway contortion. And was also convinced my baby was cleverer, smilier and more beautiful than everyone else's.

My PFB was born in 1991 and I was worried when I was pregnant with her that she’d be born a boy and have to serve in the army for the upcoming war!

Ironically she did five years in the army and I couldn’t have been more proud of her.

I also snatched a cheese puff out her hands when she was about 12 months old. Somebody ‘shared’ a cheese puff and were clearly trying to poison her with all that salt.

My husband asked me why I was still sterilising her sippy cups, dummies etc as a breast fed baby of 9/10 months when she sucked the sponge in her bath every day. I felt I was poisoning her the first time I gave her a drink in an unsterilised cup.

Oh this is great.

Mine is mortifying now I think back . In my defense it was the day after I'd had him and it was a very very long labour! We were preparing to be discharged and I mentioned to my partner that I was worried because ds hadn't peed in at least 12 hours but possibly more as I couldn't remember if he had one when he was born or not. Partner dutifully calmed me down and had a little poke about in the nappy to see if it was wet....then said "does he have a hole to pee out of? I can't see one". So I panicked that my tiny baby's bladder was about to burst because he couldn't pee, buzzed the midwife and made my partner explain while I tried not to burst into tears at the thought of my little boy being born without the ability to pee.

Turns out he just wasn't getting a lot of milk from me but the absolutely lovely midwives let me stay longer and gave him a formula top up (he peed like an hour later ) and kept reassuring me that they check for everything like that when they come out

Oh I remember another one. My friend came to visit when DS was about 2 weeks old. She brought her 8 month old with her and I couldn't understand why he was so 'badly behaved'. He wasn't, he was just being an 8 month old, but somehow I imagined that he should have been sitting quietly in a chair sipping tea or something because he was soooooo much older than my PFB.

Oh these are amazing. The one about You are My Sunshine made me laugh and cry - I was on the bus and had to put on sunglasses.
It made me think about the first parent meeting thing I had at PFBs nursery, I think he was one and a half, and I cried when talking about how wonderful I thought he was. I just felt so proud and emotional about him, very embarassing in hindsight...

For months after PFB was born DH and I used to carry his filled baby bath into the spare room to wash him. I honestly can't remember why - I think I thought the bathroom was a bit chilly or something? Or maybe the floor was too hard in case he slipped when we put him in his towel? But we did it for months. My wedding dress hung on the back of the spare room door for weeks, at risk of getting splashed every single time, and I honestly didn't care.

Also introduced solids at 6 months to the day of his birth. I remember being truly shocked when my mam asked if we had started at something like 5 and a half months. I don't know what awful thing I thought would happen of we started a week early or something.

I also thought he was truly the MOST beautiful child and was honestly surprised that I wasn't complemented on his gorgeousness by every person who passed us.

Oh I just remembered this one.. for the first 6 weeks of my PFBs life. If anyone wanted to hold her they had to lay a blanket across themselves first, and only hold her sat down. The blanket for the germs they were clearly harbouring on their clothes, the seated position because I was convinced they'd drop her - even my parents!

@firstimemamma

I was determined to establish breastfeeding and read somewhere that it's a good idea to log feeds. I took this to the extreme and for about 6 weeks I kept a note of literally every single feed (EBF) he had - even if he was cluster feeding and having 20 feeds a day. Every feed was logged down to the exact minute e.g left boob 3:19-3:37pm. The breastfeeding counsellor at my local support group thought I was mental and told me I didn't need to do it but I didn't listen. I think around the 6-8 week mark it gradually stopped.

omg my baby is 5 months and i’m still doing this. makes me sad that i didn’t log her first couple of days 😂

I took ds to a mum group where we sat in a circle on the floor singing songs and I covered his ears because I thought the lyrics of the second verse of row row your boat were too graphic

….if you see a crocodile don’t forget to scream

I was going to complain but it was followed up with Five Little Ducks and it took all my willpower to hold it together until I got to my car where I sobbed for twenty minutes over Mama Duck’s babies not coming home.

Lol at potato babies. Ds had an actual halo!

I love this thread: it's making me feel all soppy.

When I had my PFB, I had a firm rule that no-one must ever buy him clothes with pictures of cars/trains/lorries on them. Because they are polluting, and he was so pure and clean and new.

Someone innocently gave me a tractor babygro, and I cried in the car on the way home.

What a tit.

I refused to let dd try nuts until dh was home and we'd checked there was limited traffic to get to a and e if needed.
Ironically, my second child does have allergies (not severe) and I now understand it's the second exposure that's the risky one ! 😂

Can I join in with my PFB GS story please?

My lovely, perfect eldest grandson lived with us for a while when he was tiny.
He honestly was a beautiful child, strangers would comment on his hair, his eyelashes, his beautiful skin.

This maybe why I have the hair from his first haircut in a wooden box on my dressing table! All of it, not a darling little curl!

I have asked his mother (my DD) what I should do with it as he is now 24 years old!!
She just falls about laughing as does DGS.
😳

I can't bring myself to throw it away, I also have a pocket patch from his Postman Pat PJs and a pair of Postman Pat socks in the tiniest size.

I might bury the hair under a plant in the garden, then I can go outside and appreciate how lovely that plant is.

I have 5 other grandchildren who I absolutely adore equally with PFB but I seem to have refrained from collecting their hair...though I do have the dog's puppy teeth.

Maybe I will go away now and name change!

I too completed a log of every feed, nap, change etc for months and months. It was on an app so very portable. When DS arrived 14 months later I stopped - he had nothing logged for him.

I had a ring binder and put every daily report from nursery in it. I have no idea why I thought this would be useful in the future.

My time hop brings up regular memories of odd looking poos etc. One series of pictures is a very close up of my PFBs foot from different angles. I'd bumped her foot on the (plastic) arch over her bouncer and she'd cried for a moment. I was documenting pictures to compare the swelling before taking her to A&E. there was no swelling, she had fat baby feet. Happily OH talked me out of taking her in to be x-rayed

I spent hours making DS' first birthday cake with tiny icing models from The Very Hungry Caterpillar. He wasn't allowed any, of course, because it had sugar in it. I don't think refined sugar passed his lips until he was about 2.

My dad's PFB-grandchild moment came when DS slept at my parents' house one night after he'd started talking. He refused to put on trousers in the morning and when my dad told him he'd get cold, responded that grandad could just put the heating on. And my dad did! He was definitely of the 'put a jumper on if you're getting frostbite cold' school of thought when I was little!

I was reading some of these to my husband and said (slightly smugly I admit) 'we didn't do anything too PFB'. And he replied 'er, do you not remember the sideways crab walk?'

We went for a walk on a fairly overcast day to the beach when the wee one was about 4 months old. The sun unexpectedly made an appearance and it was absolutely splitting the stones. As I was following the 'no sunscreen before 6 months' advice, I used my body as a shield to make sure that no sunlight got on her skin. She was in a sling on me so this consisted mostly of me scuttling sideways like a crab, keeping my back back to the sun, while holding a coat up in front of her as an additional shield just in case. I'm assuming there was a fair amount of side eyeing from the rest of the people on the beach!

In terms of crying over stuff, I absolutely cannot read aloud Paper Dolls by Julia Donaldson because it makes me weep. I was meant to be reading it to the kids at work and had to ask someone else to do it as I would have had a moment!

@thelegohooverer did you not sing the last verse of the 5 Little Ducks song - they do come home!

No little ducks went swimming one day,
Over the hill and far away.
Mummy Duck said 'quack, quack, quack, quack'.
So all the little ducks came swimming back.

@Waitwhat23

I was reading some of these to my husband and said (slightly smugly I admit) 'we didn't do anything too PFB'. And he replied 'er, do you not remember the sideways crab walk?'

We went for a walk on a fairly overcast day to the beach when the wee one was about 4 months old. The sun unexpectedly made an appearance and it was absolutely splitting the stones. As I was following the 'no sunscreen before 6 months' advice, I used my body as a shield to make sure that no sunlight got on her skin. She was in a sling on me so this consisted mostly of me scuttling sideways like a crab, keeping my back back to the sun, while holding a coat up in front of her as an additional shield just in case. I'm assuming there was a fair amount of side eyeing from the rest of the people on the beach!

In terms of crying over stuff, I absolutely cannot read aloud Paper Dolls by Julia Donaldson because it makes me weep. I was meant to be reading it to the kids at work and had to ask someone else to do it as I would have had a moment!

This thread is amazing.

I daren't read any out to DH because I don't think I could cope with being reminded of my own pfb cringe moments

When our firstborn was about 5 months old, I caught DH crawling out of baby's bedroom. Said he wanted to check she was OK but didn't want her to see him.

I genuinely don't remember doing any of these things, so of course I didn't, I was the perfect balanced mother .

I do remember how DS3, aged 6, was singing and signing in school assembly to Bruno Mars Count On Me. I still can't listen and sing along without having a little cry at my perfect special little boy. He rolls his eyes at me and tells me he can't even remember the words anymore!

My nanny used to sing You Are My Sunshine to me when I was a baby, so it makes both me AND my mum cry. She died when I was 6.

@IamEarthymama Planting the baby hair in the garden! 😆 I am loving the PFB grandchild stories.

My PFB son's first birthday was huge. I spent days designing invitations in Photoshop with a carefully chosen poem running around the border of the invitation, full afternoon tea spread and themed cakes, and we had about 80 people in attendance.

When my second child turned 1, I just sent a text around saying 'do you want to come over for cake on Saturday?'

Just remembered another one but I blame the hormones!
I'd just given birth to dd1 and we were in a room on the maternity ward and dd was awake and staring into space. I said her name a couple of times and she didn't look at me so I started freaking out that she might be blind and DH started laughing and told me to get a grip 😂🙈
DH dropped something and the noise made her jump and DH said "well she's definitely not deaf" 😅

Errrr this is very awkward.. I still track my 16mo's sleep on an app

If you are still doing it at 16 years it will be very awkward.

@TrickyD

Just brought DS1 back from hospital and the sticky fastening on his nappy had attached itself to his tummy. DH cycled into town to ask chemist for something that would disolve a nappy's adhesive and save DS's precious skin. Health Visitor arrived, took one look and ripped it straight off.

😂 I wish I had been in the chemist’s that day! I wonder what they thought