Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

[FuckingFabulous]

I want to hear examples from your experiences. Like when someone drops the facade for a second and you see something a bit scary about them, or when someone reasonable comes out with something utterly ludicrous and you've no idea how to react. I want to hear them! Because earlier today, I found out that my neighbours daughter doesn't have identical twins called Ronnie and Jensen, which was my assumption. She has one boy called Jensen, but my neighbour hates the name and will only call him Ronnie. The boy is six. His middle name isn't even Ronnie. His grandma just prefers that name and calls him that.

Animal abuse…very sick man. I shudder to think of what he is capable of.

Obviously a spy. You should have responded that the weather in Minsk is exceptionally clement.

Crowded train. A woman gets up and another prepares to take her seat. She unfolds her newspaper and fans the newly-free seat. It was so strange. She noticed me looking at her and said, “ass fumes, baby, they are very dangerous. You should never sit in someone else’s ass fumes.” I have taken the train for 40 years and never saw anyone doing it before or since.

This is completely true. Once a week I go fishing at a fairly remote spot about ten minutes from a town center bus stop. The route to the river passes through a few fields with styles and gates-a fair few locals us it for dog walking etc. Im just going through a gate when a young lad going the opposite way passes me. This lad was, I guess late teen, early twenties? He was also strikingly handsome-i only mention this as it has a bearing on what happens next-when i say good looking I mean international model standard-he must spend all day beating off suitors (male or female) with a stick. I stop to let him pass and he asks me "Are you english?". My nutter rader is slightly piqued but no obvious cause for alarm just yet so I say "Yes, I am". Next question-"Can I suck you off?". I am a 60 year old bloke. WTAF?????? The only time in my life I have impersonated a goldfish.

Sad one - at a pretty deserted UK beach and a group of young children, maybe 5 yrs old so in fact school outing, came down the steps leading to the beach. Reached the sand. It was obvious none of them had ever walked on sand before, any of them. They all freaked out a bit, struggled, several cried, several sat down and refused to move and one screamed blue murder and had to be carried the whole time.

I was WTF that not one of them had ever been to the seaside before. I understand there is poverty, and I spent 20 years living on a very deprived sink estate, but not 1 if them?

Saw someone with hair that went all the way to their ankles.

When I was minding my own business the other day doing some tidying up in my front garden for winter and managed to attract the attention of one of my male neighbours, so much so that he walked his dog past my garden six times over that afternoon to try and every time tried to strike up conversation.

More perplexing is that I was wearing a massive Hello Kitty jumper which is now 7 dress sizes too big for me, pyjama bottoms tucked into purple tie dyed Care Bears socks with neon yellow crocs on my feet. I also had a leopard print headband slipping off the back of my head and hanging off my bun for a final little fashun flourish.

He asked me if I’d lived here long, how was I finding it, showed me where his house was, he even had a pretend chat with his dog on one of his laps about how he was “talking to the nice lady”. The stuff about how long I’d lived here is utter shite because my house is literally attached to his Mum & Dads house, and he lives around the corner. There is two houses in a semi-detached situation, my garden is shared with his parents, like they wouldn’t have mentioned over 18 months ago that next door had gone up for sale, and that 6 months after that the old family had moved out and a woman moved in.

I don’t know whether to find it all fucking creepy, or take it as light hearted flattery that despite my outfit I had still managed to attract suitors.

My own mother told me my miscarriage was punishment from God for having premarital sex. I was when she said that.

For various reasons I no longer speak to her

Years ago I was working as a detached youth worker and this particular night working in a part of the town I had never been to before.
I went with about 4 of the teenage girls to the COOP near by to pick up some bits for a baking session. A woman who I had never seen before in my life came up and was absolutely disgusted with me for some reason. She followed us around the store and was saying things ' who the hell do you think you are, just look at you!!' " you think you are really special dont you, well you're not" , that kind of thing.
Me and the kids were thinking who is she and what iis she on about? It was really nasty..
I hadn't done anything bad to anyone so I have no clue what that was about. It scared me a bit at the time because I had the girls with me and I didnt know what this woman was capable of.