Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

[FuckingFabulous]

I want to hear examples from your experiences. Like when someone drops the facade for a second and you see something a bit scary about them, or when someone reasonable comes out with something utterly ludicrous and you've no idea how to react. I want to hear them! Because earlier today, I found out that my neighbours daughter doesn't have identical twins called Ronnie and Jensen, which was my assumption. She has one boy called Jensen, but my neighbour hates the name and will only call him Ronnie. The boy is six. His middle name isn't even Ronnie. His grandma just prefers that name and calls him that.

@alongtimeagoandfaraway

I was part of someone else’s wtf moment years ago. With my daughters and some friends from our sports club we were taking part in the London Moonwalk. We’d decorated our bras in the club colours and with 1000s of other women were walking across London through the night. It was past 2am, we’d just crossed one of the bridges over the Thames and this, beautifully dressed, very elegant man came out of a night club, looked at all these women of every size, shape, age and colour and utters the immortal words - ‘what the fuck are you all doing?’ I couldn’t blame him, it was quite surreal.

I can imagine this so clearly; perfectly described!

@vinylcafe

Friend of mine went to do some work at a mans house. The man seemed quite agitated so my friend said ok mate! Man explained that he had just buried some cheese in the garden. My friend said why would you do that, which made the man more agitated. Man started to shout and wave his arms about. My friend, who is very street wise, said well you can't bury cheese without sausages can you. Man popped to shop for sausages

No, we were both stunned! Dh did put in his email though that someone might want to tell Clare that her hold button is broken

Brilliant @FuckingFabulous imagine how hard she will be cringing when she finds out!

@LouLou789 yes as a wedding present from her parents for the newly married couple, my grandfather died young so used his so grandmother used to check that hers still fitted, she was 5,2 and weighed about 8 stone apparently but was concerned about growing out of the coffin. - are coffins not a standard size? Exception if the person is extra large

Oh my gosh!

I was once on a train home when we were held for a while at a station because a lady had gotten off at the previous stop and left her baby on board. She was in her car driving to the station we were waiting at to pick the baby up!

I popped into Lidl one lunchtime for a few bits of shopping. There was a woman stood outside the main door WITH A SKUNK ON A LEAD . I got terribly excited and asked nicely, 'Please may I smooth your skunk?' She huffed and sighed and said 'I suppose so' and rolled her eyes at me . I started to talk to the lovely boy. His name was Chaos. Then she told me off for talking in too high a voice and she got pissed off with people wanting to pet/speak to him. It frightens skunks apparently. I was like, 'But...but...you are stood outside of lidl on a Tuesday afternoon WITH A SKUNK ON A LEAD!!!!' It was both exciting and crushingly disappointing at the same time .

Can I recommend a couple of WTF stories you can find in YouTube or Netflix?

Three Identical Strangers and Looking for Mike.

Things that happen in Wolverhampton

I was once in the Mander Centre and saw Captain Kirk and Mr Spock walking around.

Driving along and see a man with a huge bird of prey on his arm (about 0.5m from brak to toe). Stopped to ask about it. I can't remember what it was but apparently it liked to go for a walk.

Having my hair cut a man walked into the hairdresser's and said he was being followed by demons. Hairdresser and I look at each other in the mirror and she asked him to go because she couldn't save him, he then went off down the street. We didn't see any demons following him. He was either ill or high and I hope he found some help.

We live in the U.K.. DS went to university in France . On his first day he was out shopping when a woman he had never met before approached him and asked `'are you Confused's son?' It turned out she was an old family friend of my mums who used to babysit me back in the 60s. She moved to France in the 70s and we never saw her again. She had been browsing mum's FB the day before and saw photos of me and DS with mum, then driven up to Paris for the day and recognised DS in the street.

How extraordinary @Confusedandshaken

Findyourporpoise I saw a woman feeding a heron a prawn with a chopstick year before last in Hyde Park! Is it a thing?!!

Going to visit dd yesterday. DH driving. Needed the fourth exit of the roundabout. Imagine my confusion as sat waiting to exit each separate junction were three silver vans, all with ladders on the roof, drivers window down and all with a young lad in a baseball cap behind the wheel.
Proper inception moment that.

@HemanOrSheRa

I popped into Lidl one lunchtime for a few bits of shopping. There was a woman stood outside the main door WITH A SKUNK ON A LEAD . I got terribly excited and asked nicely, 'Please may I smooth your skunk?' She huffed and sighed and said 'I suppose so' and rolled her eyes at me . I started to talk to the lovely boy. His name was Chaos. Then she told me off for talking in too high a voice and she got pissed off with people wanting to pet/speak to him. It frightens skunks apparently. I was like, 'But...but...you are stood outside of lidl on a Tuesday afternoon WITH A SKUNK ON A LEAD!!!!' It was both exciting and crushingly disappointing at the same time .

What is “smoothing”? Is that like patting or petting?

I have only ever heard people in Bristol use the word smoothing in this context, i.e. "smoothing the cat".

I assume it's a West Country thing!

@ACPC

I read a story about a man and his mother who migrated here from somewhere in Africa and lived on the same park bench for years. It was wtf because they had lots of offers of help but refused.

I know (of) them. Used to drive past them as I went through Tooting every day to work. They have lived on that bench for years. (I assume they still do. I've changed jobs so can't be sure.)

They are still there

@unim

I have only ever heard people in Bristol use the word smoothing in this context, i.e. "smoothing the cat".

I assume it's a West Country thing!

Interesting. In Scotland, we also have a regional word for this- “clapping” as in “can I give your dog a wee clap?”. People do get a bit confused if not local, because it sounds as if you want to give the animal a round of applause!

I have one from today! Although slightly less WTF and a bit more 'Awwww'

I was taking the kids to a local river to feed some lovely ducks. On the way there a motorbike passed us on the opposite side of the road. The bike had a sidecar attached and inside the sidecar were two Poodley type dogs both wearing helmets and doggles 😍😍

It is! unim it is a Bristol thing. Generally pronounced 'smoove'.

'Hello lady, can I smoove your skunk?'

Havering, we say 'clapping' for petting a dog etc in NE England, too.

One friend of mine from school went to Canada for a few months. I knew he was going, though I didn’t know which bit.

He met a fellow Englishman (from the other end of the country) in Canada and got chatting. The 2nd Englishman has been in my tutor group at university. I’ve no idea how the conversation got round to me!

@WeegieWan was the well known high street chemist in a town beginning with N in the midlands? If so, I know the man you mean - if not, that means there's two of them

Getting the bus one morning to work. This man gets on starts Pulling all this food out his bag which stinks to high heaven. Then he pulls out a clear bag of plain spaghetti and just chows down

Then there's the man who gets on the bus with a puppet of kermit the frog and just starts talking to people.