Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

KindergartenKop · 25/05/2021 20:35

I bet the mum has started a thread about your neighbour on here somewhere!!

Velvian · 25/05/2021 22:54

I was having coffee with a friend at her house, she was complaining about turning 40. I told her she had no need to worry that she looked about 10 years younger.

She replied, "No. I thought it would have happened by now." I asked, "what would have happened" - The answer was that we would be living in paradise (like after the day of judgement type paradise)

That was a conversation killer. I had nothing but a goldfish impression

smudgemylife · 26/05/2021 00:41

Not quite what you asked for, but here goes...

At a gorgeous park, warm summers day, sun slowly beginning to go down and sat eating ice creams facing the lake. Literally the perfect end to a lovely day.
Sat on a bench by the lake was a little old man who we'd seen wandering around the park earlier, throwing crumbs from his sandwiches to the birds.
He ended up surrounded by a ridiculous amount of pigeons, he even held out his and and one jumped up and began eating the crumbs directly from his hand.
It was so sweet and surreal, I was totally transfixed.
Then, in a flash, he grabbed the pigeon in his hand and snapped its neck!!! Stood up from the bench, casually dropped it into the bin next to him and wandered off.

Honestly the most mental thing to ever happen to me.

Susannahmoody · 26/05/2021 00:45

Weird one recently. Woman who I see at the school gate walked into the library wearing the exact same hoodie as my 4 year old daughter, which has a far flung capital city on it. Same colour and everything.

Then she walked up the to the counter and said 'my name is Susannah' I. E my exact same first name!

HollowTalk · 26/05/2021 00:59

@smudgemylife

Hm2020 · 26/05/2021 02:48

Can’t think of anything right now but had to place mark as I’m already got the wtf face from @smudgemylife

Original poster

FuckingFabulous · 26/05/2021 06:47

Woah, @smudgemylife

It's like the start of a movie about how a serial killer got away with all his crimes as a young man, but still craves the kill. Chilling!

I remember my Dad telling me that when he was a kid, his 13 year old relative shot his 11 year old female friend in the lower back, buttock, and thigh with a nail gun. Just to see what it would be like. The girl needed surgery, he ended up in a borstal type place and is still properly creepy. We rarely had any contact with him, but I see him on Facebook and if a news story broke about a violent murder or a serial killer found and it was in his area, I would immediately suspect him.

OP posts:

SaskiaRembrandt · 26/05/2021 06:57

A woman I used to work always seemed really lovely, until one day as we were leaving the office she remarked, 'I hate those bastards!'. I was a bit perplexed because we were the only ones there, so asked what she meant, at which point she gestured towards a group of pigeons then ran over to them waving her arms and shouting 'fuck off, fuck off!'. This was an adult woman in a Laura Ashley dress!

barkingfly · 26/05/2021 07:38

Honestly, we kept pigeons. We had a walk in aviary. Those people are not wrong.

Rave2thegrave · 26/05/2021 07:39

@FuckingFabulous

I want to hear examples from your experiences. Like when someone drops the facade for a second and you see something a bit scary about them, or when someone reasonable comes out with something utterly ludicrous and you've no idea how to react. I want to hear them! Because earlier today, I found out that my neighbours daughter doesn't have identical twins called Ronnie and Jensen, which was my assumption. She has one boy called Jensen, but my neighbour hates the name and will only call him Ronnie. The boy is six. His middle name isn't even Ronnie. His grandma just prefers that name and calls him that.

😮😮😮

Rave2thegrave · 26/05/2021 07:42

The pigeon story is like the opening to a horror film.

SteveArnottsCodeine · 26/05/2021 07:54

My husband had a barber for a couple of years who seemed normal but then one day just lost his shit at a group of kids outside hanging around. He came back in and said he hated kids and if he had his way would have them assessed aged 12 to see if they needed to be sterilised to avoid teenage pregnancies. My husband just laughed nervously and then found a new barber for his next haircut DH is a teacher too so after dropping his sterilisation bombshell the barber then started saying he didn’t know how DH did the job as kids are awful etc. Sounded totally mad.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/05/2021 08:01

a person I thought was my best friend telling me she thought it was my fault that I had a miscarriage because I like to be miserable and that negative energy caused the miscarriage. (well, none of that is true of course)
and that she was happy that baby didn't make it because she was worried how I'd cope with 5 kids😳

we have 7 kids now. she's no longer a friend.

Original poster

FuckingFabulous · 26/05/2021 08:15

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

a person I thought was my best friend telling me she thought it was my fault that I had a miscarriage because I like to be miserable and that negative energy caused the miscarriage. (well, none of that is true of course) and that she was happy that baby didn't make it because she was worried how I'd cope with 5 kids😳

we have 7 kids now. she's no longer a friend.

What a terrible bitch!

OP posts:

Butchdanes · 26/05/2021 08:26

Nothing to add, but here I am for the stories!

@FuckingFabulous yours is gold

steppemum · 26/05/2021 08:28

Oh what a great thread.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/05/2021 09:07

thanks @FuckingFabulous

yours is excellent btw!

here are 2 lighthearted ones.
you know the usual excuses kids' have for not sleeping, thirsty, hungry, need a pee..
well, DS3 once surprised me with "I can't sleep because my nails are too long"
🤣
and DS4 couldn't sleep because "mummy, my feet were too cold yesterday"
🤔😁

Original poster

FuckingFabulous · 26/05/2021 09:16

I asked my husband for his and he said when he was out drinking with some colleagues in the RAF, they were reminiscing about basic training and horrible dares around drinking piss and one of them said- totally deadpan- that it's not a proper dare to drink piss because you're meant to drink your own piss at least a couple of times a month or "you won't get the benefit of your filtered immune system." He apparently was not joking at all, and was suddenly talking very animatedly about urine therapy and how the taste was not what you'd expect.

OP posts:

lachy · 26/05/2021 09:24

@FuckingFabulous

I asked my husband for his and he said when he was out drinking with some colleagues in the RAF, they were reminiscing about basic training and horrible dares around drinking piss and one of them said- totally deadpan- that it's not a proper dare to drink piss because you're meant to drink your own piss at least a couple of times a month or "you won't get the benefit of your filtered immune system." He apparently was not joking at all, and was suddenly talking very animatedly about urine therapy and how the taste was not what you'd expect.

That's definitely a bit wtf!

osbertthesyrianhamster · 26/05/2021 09:28

I love this thread!

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/05/2021 09:29

when I met one of my kids's friends' dad for the first time (as in we were being introduced) I said "nice to finally meet you, I don't think I've seen you on the school run"
he said "yeah, I've not been long out of prison"

PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 26/05/2021 10:04

I once saw a man using a wire coat hanger to wank at a bus stop.
I also saw a person reading a book on the tube about the benefits of drinking your own urine.

Original poster

FuckingFabulous · 26/05/2021 10:20

@PammieDooveOrangeJoof

I once saw a man using a wire coat hanger to wank at a bus stop. I also saw a person reading a book on the tube about the benefits of drinking your own urine.

No way to the coat hanger wanker!! That sounds dick mangling!

OP posts:

Hawkins001 · 26/05/2021 10:30

A friend and his partner, the guy is quite logical and intelligent, the lady is more emotional based personality, they both want to make a go of the relationship, yet seem to go round in circles.

For example the lady will do x but the guy then goes into full analysis mode of why she did x when she should of done x,y,z ect. This applies to various activities, he knows the lady and how she will react but yet keeps battling every action ect which then leads to them splitting up and then getting back together after a bit, then all is smooth for e.g. A month or two then it's the same pattern repeated she did x then he went into full debate mode.

From my perspective, he knows her inside and out, knows her detailed personality yet every time keep s battling rather than keeping the peace, it's like why keep trying to win every battle if in the end you keep splitting up, if you want the relationship to succeed and you know she's not always logical then why keep going round in circles ?

I get he could be right in his analysis but knowing his partner is more emotional than logical at times, it's not exactly helping the relationship.

StayAGhost · 26/05/2021 10:58

There was a mum on the school run that I used to chat with.
Sometimes really friendly and chatty
Other times a bit standoff-ish

Fair enough

One day I was chatting with her, walking down the path....then I saw her waiting with the other mums!

Yes, they were TWO separate people.