Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

[FuckingFabulous]

I want to hear examples from your experiences. Like when someone drops the facade for a second and you see something a bit scary about them, or when someone reasonable comes out with something utterly ludicrous and you've no idea how to react. I want to hear them! Because earlier today, I found out that my neighbours daughter doesn't have identical twins called Ronnie and Jensen, which was my assumption. She has one boy called Jensen, but my neighbour hates the name and will only call him Ronnie. The boy is six. His middle name isn't even Ronnie. His grandma just prefers that name and calls him that.

Lol nice to come across a funny thread it's given me a right giggle!!
I once saw on the news a man who murdered his wife and put the body in the car on a certain street and then moved to spain....It was the EXACT SAME husband and wife name, car type and colour, street and part of Spain as my old neighbours!!!....But it wasnt them!!!!! COINCIDENCE FREAK OUT!

DH has a friend at work.

He caught Covid.

In hospital.
Out of hospital.
He's going to be OK.
Relapse.
On life support.
Doctor's say he is going to die.

Company update emails to all as his situation developed and changed.

Everyone was invested.
Everyone was sad.
Thoughts of funerals and collections etc.

The WTF moment was the email that came saying he had pulled through against all the odds.

A WTF but a fantastic one.

We used to go out regularly with a group of friends and one lived in a village that had a fish and chip shop that we never went in as the owner had a reputation for scratching his backside and picking his nose and ears etc. One evening we noticed it was closed and remarked on it. "Yes" said my friend, "It's changed hands." Quick as a flash another friend said "Oh, what, is he using his left one now?!"

On the top deck of a bus on the Old Kent Road in the middle of the day, small child tells her mum she needs the loo, so her mum makes her crouch, drop her knickers and wee on the bus floor. Eww.

Also last time I was in Aberystwyth, there was a guy walking round with a tame pigeon on his shoulder. It was quirkily charming until I saw the amount of birdshit down the back of his jacket.

Going back many, MANY years..... a chance conversation with a man I knew well, but had always considered to be THE most professional, straight-laced and buttoned-up bloke imaginable that kick-started an all-too short-lived period of the some of the best sex I've ever experienced.

Ah, memories!

On holiday at a beach front restaurant a few years ago, full of families quite busy but not packed. Family at the table next to us was Mum Dad & a son around 7ish he had a huge plate of spaghetti and was twisting his fork around put a huge mound of it into his mouth and began chewing. I tapped my now DH as if to say that was a hell of a lot of pasta when he suddenly began choking... Visibly banging the table & choking, his parents ignored him and kept talking/eating it was only when he started going a different colour FIL jumped out of his seat and gave him the Heimlich he finally brought up a massive ball of pasta and he thanked FIL in Spanish, the parents didn't even turn around they continued the conversation and ignored the fact the whole restaurant was gathered around their small son who had literally just almost choked to death, we were all just sat stunned and in shock, restaurant owner gave us our meal for free & the boy an ice cream. I do always wonder how he is, and if his parents are still just as selfish.

My Grandma used to tell me a story about an uncle of hers called Noah. he was a pretty mean man.
It was one of the kids birthdays and a lovely cake had been baked with a layer of icing and decorations on the top.
Instead of cutting the cake in the normal way, he sliced a layer off the top of the cake horizontally ( so basically all the icing and decorations), placed it on his plate and said "that's for me", then proceeded to give all the kids plain sponge. WTAF kind of person would do that.

I was living in a fourth floor flat and there was a row of tall thin trees across from my living room window.

(A quick Google image search says Lombardy Poplar)

The branches were bare of leaves.

I was leaning on the cupboard in front of the big window watching the world go by when I spot movement in one of the trees.

Oh, squirrel, bit big but squirrel I think. My little wildlife watching binoculars are in the trinket dish by me, so I grab them and focus in on the tree.

It's the neighbours cat walking vertically up the thick tree trunk using the branches to support it's back.

It went at least fifty feet up.
WTF being an understatement.

I swear on my mother's grave that this is happened.

@BearSoFair

Vapour trail conspiracy seems to be a thing as my DH has a very successful business man friend who insists this is a real conspiracy. He gets quite animated and serious about it, my DH thought he must be going mad, seriously.

this was quite shocking

[quote bunburyscucumbersandwich]@SailingBuddy China use weather modification already and have done for decades!

www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/03/china-vows-to-boost-weather-modification-capabilities[/quote]
Oh I know that, but I doubt the UK govt have invested that much time and effort for a sunny sky for the london marathon, or Wills & Kate’s wedding.

@SilverGoblin

I was living in a fourth floor flat and there was a row of tall thin trees across from my living room window.

(A quick Google image search says Lombardy Poplar)

The branches were bare of leaves.

I was leaning on the cupboard in front of the big window watching the world go by when I spot movement in one of the trees.

Oh, squirrel, bit big but squirrel I think. My little wildlife watching binoculars are in the trinket dish by me, so I grab them and focus in on the tree.

It's the neighbours cat walking vertically up the thick tree trunk using the branches to support it's back.

It went at least fifty feet up.
WTF being an understatement.

I swear on my mother's grave that this is happened.

A friend of mine used to have a cocker spaniel that could climb trees. I didn't believe a word of it until I actually witnessed it with my own eyes one day!

Luckily our springer only attempts tree climbing when there's a squirrel up it and he's pretty incompetent.

One December, in the run up to Christmas. I was walking around a huge mega superstore and I kept passing this couple in aisles. The woman was really heavily pregnant and huffing and puffing away. The guy looked really pissed off walking next to her up and down the aisles while she was stopping and starting and trying to catch her breath. She was leaning against the shelves and I thought maybe she was in early labour or at the very least going through some braxtonHicks. She eventually lost her temper at the fella and shouted at him to "just go and get the bloody booze! I'm sick of being in here and I'm fucking freezing!" . I went and paid for my shopping and in the car park I saw them in the row of cars opposite mine. They were arguing. Badly. Then all of a sudden she squatted down on the floor and gave birth ....to a small plastic wrapped Turkey, a tub of roses and a bottle of vodka. From what I'm assuming was a fake belly. No idea how she got them in there up her dress without being noticed though 🤷🏼‍♀️😬

Love this thread. Mine is a work one. Me and a number of colleagues were slacking chatting about magicians like David Blane etc. When my lovely colleague said that she wished she had powers like that. Further probing revealed that she didn't think it was tricks but genuine magic and that Blane was some kind of sorcerer.

We were all just sat around open-mouthed it was hilarious and she did see the funny side when we explained.

When my dad all of a sudden started hounding my mum, outbof the blue trying to terrorise her out of her own home, and they both ended up being arrested, and my mum lived with us for 6 months from that day, and now lives in a council house.
We were a pretty uneventful (for want of a better word) family until that point. It all happened so suddenly, and was a complete whirlwind that turned everyone's lives upside down.

I used to be field based in my job, so a lot of driving. There was a car with a private plate, that I saw all over the place - north and south. The biggest Wtf moment when I saw it though, was when I was driving to Oban for work, and it overtook me (Oban was the furthest I went for work, I live in the north west). I can only assume it was a field based worker too, and we had weirdly synced diaries!

I used to live in Bath, over 20 years ago. There was an elderly gentleman I used to see around all the time, queued up at the post office, waiting in the chippy, etc. I used to (secretly to myself) call him Shit Wig Man. Not because he was wearing an unrealistic, cheap wig but because his wig looked looked exactly like he had a cow pat balancing on his head. If you imagine a wig that has had brylcreem/hair oil and then the wig is never washed up combed and it just becomes more and more matted, and then owner presumably has bad eyesight so can't see what it looks like, after a couple of decades it just looks like a cowpat. It looked revolting and absolutely bizarre. He was otherwise quite smartly dressed and seemed normal enough. I mentioned this on some random forum about 10 years ago and a stranger replied - OMG! YES! SHIT WIG MAN! Turns they used to see him around too and and had the exact same nickname for him as me.

When my first child was a baby I went to a mum and baby group. A few of us had been discussing whether/when we would be returning to work. One of them had previously told us about her chemistry PHd and her science based job that she seemed to love. She told us she had decided she would not be going back to her old job as she had found something better. She was handing in her notice and putting all her energies in to asking the Universe to provide- she was specifically looking for a huge lottery win. At first we all thought she was making a joke- but she did indeed leave her job and soon after also left her DH because apparently he did not believe and was a source of negative energy.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

thanks *@FuckingFabulous*

yours is excellent btw!

here are 2 lighthearted ones.
you know the usual excuses kids' have for not sleeping, thirsty, hungry, need a pee..
well, DS3 once surprised me with "I can't sleep because my nails are too long"
🤣
and DS4 couldn't sleep because "mummy, my feet were too cold yesterday"
🤔😁

I am 100% with your DS4 on that one. I just can't fall asleep with cold feet. Cold anywhere else is manageable. Cold feet=awake all night. I have been known to pile pillows on my feet to heat them up at night and get to sleep.

I was volunteering for a charity some years ago. I asked this guy how he had come to find us (the charity) and he said because he'd murdered someone but he hadn't meant to!

a friend's cocker spaniel was a very fussy dog in terms of what he'd eat.
he was a real pain to feed, turned up his nose at basic pet food and even certain treats.

he had, however, no problem with gobbling up a full, used condom totally out of the blue. 🤣
classic wtf moment I think!
she ended up missing a day from school to take the dog for lots of walks to catch the condom poo.
she was terrified her father would be the one finding it.

@FuckingFabulous

I asked my husband for his and he said when he was out drinking with some colleagues in the RAF, they were reminiscing about basic training and horrible dares around drinking piss and one of them said- totally deadpan- that it's not a proper dare to drink piss because you're meant to drink your own piss at least a couple of times a month or "you won't get the benefit of your filtered immune system." He apparently was not joking at all, and was suddenly talking very animatedly about urine therapy and how the taste was not what you'd expect.

This reminded me of this, a very very early 'Chewin' The Fat' sketch... Haven't thought about that for a long time

@bigbeatmanifesto

On holiday at a beach front restaurant a few years ago, full of families quite busy but not packed. Family at the table next to us was Mum Dad & a son around 7ish he had a huge plate of spaghetti and was twisting his fork around put a huge mound of it into his mouth and began chewing. I tapped my now DH as if to say that was a hell of a lot of pasta when he suddenly began choking... Visibly banging the table & choking, his parents ignored him and kept talking/eating it was only when he started going a different colour FIL jumped out of his seat and gave him the Heimlich he finally brought up a massive ball of pasta and he thanked FIL in Spanish, the parents didn't even turn around they continued the conversation and ignored the fact the whole restaurant was gathered around their small son who had literally just almost choked to death, we were all just sat stunned and in shock, restaurant owner gave us our meal for free & the boy an ice cream. I do always wonder how he is, and if his parents are still just as selfish.

I hope they at least got him medical treatment as the Heimlich on a child can damage or rupture some internal organs

Ex mil cooked an excellent roast beef dinner, I thanked her and said that was lovely
She said glad you liked it , I've had that meat in the freezer for 4 years and needed it gone!

I worked in a department of 25 people for a newspaper publisher. We all had our personality quirks but who doesn't?

One day, we were very close to a deadline but we couldn't find a particular advertisement to be included in the paper (obviously, this was the dark ages where you physically created the advertisement, got it proofread before being placed on a page to be photographed and plated). We dropped everything to look for this advertisement for at least 20 minutes. It finally dawned on us that a woman I'll call, "Ann" had gone to lunch and maybe she had the advertisement somewhere in her locked desk drawer. We had ten minutes before the deadline and Ann still had 40 minutes of lunch break so our boss took his master key and opened her desk drawer.

He just wanted to take a quick look but instead he found a very large stack of papers that were dated (this was May so it was a huge stack!) and on them had a running commentary on every single one of us and what we may have done that particular day to annoy her. She had a "numbered list" of people who were that days worst offenders. She called it her "Gun List".

One thing was really weird (as if this wasn't enough) was that one name was missing on those papers and that was "Mary" who sat next to her. However, under the stack of papers was a notebook titled, "Mary" and it was basically all the reasons she hated her and hoped something tragic would happen to her! She had one with the name of her husband too. Yikes! It was very much a WTF moment!

The advertisement was not in her drawer, btw.
Someone who was in the hall said Ann was on her way back and we all scrambled to put her desk contents back together and pretend we hadn't seen that desk of weirdness!
She came back early because the advertisement jacket with the advertisement had fallen in her handbag and she found it when looking for her purse to pay for her lunch and she knew the deadline was looming. Weirdly, we didn't seem too bothered about it and our boss thanked her for bringing it back and told her to take a full hour for lunch, no probs. The man must have been freaked because he was always in her "Top 5".

She was a quiet person who was always very nice to everyone but from that day, we all stayed well clear of her!