To want to settle a generation gap argument: older (female) relative is saying women had to give up work when they got married?

[Winnabella]

Got an older female relative (aunt) who gave up work when she married my uncle (now passed away). They got married in 1964. My parents got married in 1970 and my mum carried on working. My grandmother carried on working until she was in her late 70s. But my aunt goes on about how it 'wasn't acceptable' to carry on working after getting married. She's not done too badly being a SAHM but does go on a bit about the sacrifices she made. She had a cleaner and a housekeeper to do the housework and she and my uncle had 2 children. My cousins often joke about how they had to wear their pyjamas for two weeks. My aunt came round on Sunday and she went on and on about the job she did just before she got married. It is a bit like she's been stuck in time - this was nearly 50 years ago now. Was it the case that women were frowned upon in the 1960s for working if they got married; and how come my mother and grandmother seemed to hold down jobs (my mum part time after I was born and before I started school)

It's kind of a joke - I don't mean it to sound rude. My mum is always saying 'but you could have stayed there'. I do wonder if my uncle was a bit of a domineering sort on the sly... and if he had supported her she could have kept working....She really wanted to be a journalist and a writer

So your aunt was prevented from working by either her husband or her employers and never achieved her dreams....and you all think its funny, and you treat it as a joke and call her lazy and entitled?

Do you think there is anyway you don't sound rude, and bloody horrible?

My parents got married in the 60's and she gave up work. It was company policy and there was no law against that then. So it depended on your employer somewhat. My mum says she could have tried to stay but both inside and outside the company she would have been judged for that, she was supposed to keep the home and domestics running while he worked. It was considered to be putting a man who needed to feed his family out of a job if a married woman who was only doing it for pin money worked.
I think things were starting to change and my mum was in the last of those for whom this was culturally normal.

My colleague married in 1950 and could only retain her job with her husband's permission . "Fortunately", he was progessively minded so she she got to stay.

My DM could not wait to get married to pack up work and she had only been working for five years. This was 1965. She never ever wanted to work from then until she died.

I think it was fairly common but some factories did employ married women. My DGM returned to work in 1952.

Sorry, I meant 1960 not 1950.

among middle classes, until quite recently a man would be looked down on if his wife had to go out to work, that he was not able to provide for her.
women doctors were always accepted, married or not, as being essential, esp for women patients, so their unique expertise was recognised and respected.
but for other occupations, it was assumed that a woman only worked for her keep, and if she was married to a middle class man, he ought to be able to keep her, or wait to marry until he could.
many men had to inform their employer if they intended to marry, as they would have greater responsibilities, might need more money.
in the forces i believe they had to get their senior officer;s permission.

My mother was automatically made part time when she got married in the 1960s.

This was a very interesting question OP and I've actually found the opposite to the OP and found that a lot of people are of the opinion that it was the law that women had to give up work (I'm in Ireland). It was really civil service where this applied as an actual outright rule. Many working class women worked very hard in jobs where they were usually paid less than men. Even in some larger factories a two tier pay system operated. my mother remembers starting work in a clothing factory in the early sixties and lots of widows or women who's husbands were out of work or had abandoned the family were there. Poorer woman always worked but just not in very glamorous positions.

Yep. My mother had to stop work once married. It was during conscription. Dad was posted to Kenya. Mum had to stop work as a condition of posting. She was also expected to take on servants whilst out there.
She did go back into the work force as a teacher from the early 70s.

My aunt was in the civil service when she got married in the 70’s and was given her books, but could return if her husband agreed. She then had a new married womans contract. My mum and other aunt were teachers and got to keep their jobs because quite frankly if they didn’t have married female teachers they wouldn’t have been able to open schools.

My aunt was a serving police woman, when she was married and pregnant with her first child she was made to leave. No choice. Big congratulations etc but when asked, she wasn’t allowed back. This was 1963

I got married in the early 1980's and was given a form to confirm that yes, I still wanted to continue working. The automatic procedure was that if you got married you were effectively resigning at the same time, so you had to sign to confirm that you were not leaving and actually wanted to keep your job.

Also relevant was maternity leave - it wasn't until 1975 in the UK that you had the right to return to work after maternity leave. Obviously having a baby without taking any period of leave would be very difficult, so that was another barrier.

My Mil refused to get married until her late 30s because she didnt want to give up her brilliant career. She married Fil when she was 37 and had her first child at 39 and her second at 42. This was seen as ancient as she was born in 1923! She didn't care one bit. She said she liked her job and like having her own money!

My mum had to leave her job in a bank when she was pregnant with me in 1977. She was there when she was married but had to leave before she was very pregnant.
It's such a shame - my mum never really got over it. She did go back to work in the early 90's but never regained what she would have achieved.

She has always encouraged independence in me.

Yes definitely a thing in many western countries right into the 70s. Unfortunately still is in my other countries now.

My grandmother originally worked in service and had to given it up when she married my grandfather. But then carried on working as a cleaner or in factories, anything for money. Many other women did the same, even having babies and going straight back to work because they needed to.

You need to watch Call the Midwife, it’s originally based on the biography of one of the midwifes. It’s very true to form in general terms of how women were treat when getting married and having babies.

My ex work colleague when I was still very young in the 1980’s had stopped working as cabin crew in the 1960’s when she married because married women were not allowed to fly.

I was born in the early 70's and even that late I clearly remember there being an expectation that once married, women would give up work. Long after I was born, women in the armed forces were allowed to leave on marriage and forced to once they were pregnant (my dad was in the army and I remember female officers in his regiment being affected by this).

Yes, they were. My grandmother very reluctantly gave up work as a dietician when she got married in the mid 1940s.
Not surprisingly, she was very passionate about her own daughter’s’ education and subsequent careers. She taught my mother, who taught me, always to have some money of one’s own set aside.

My mum got married in 1952 and carried on working - she had her own hairdressing business and supported my dad while he studied. Makes me realise how ahead of their time they were!

My parents married in about 1964 - My mum always worked but went PT

My mum had to stop work because my dad worked for the same company. Company policy didn't allow married couples to work there. She did look for other work but as a young married woman employers were reluctant. Then she started having babies so they were even more reluctant. Once we were all born and the youngest got to two she did start work again but due to no/limited childcare at the time it was all evenings/nights/weekends and very low paid eg washing pots etc.

There were definitely women who were forced to quit by employers once they were married. A good friend specifically held off her wedding for a change in policy when she worked at Halifax Building Society in the 70s. Even then she had to have signed permission to work from her husband and was put on a "married women's salary" so was paid about half of the equivalent men in similar roles.

Late 70s MIL had to give up her clerical position when she got married, it was company policy.

My mum carried on working as a nurse, but gave up as soon as she had kids and just did a few temp nursing roles.

It was definitely a thing. Even in the late 70s and early 80s, I remember that women that worked full time were considered unusual and an assumption made that their husband wasn't a good 'provider'.

My grandma had to give up her job at Woolworths when she got married in 1940. My mum went back to work as a teacher shortly after having me in 1977 and my dad stayed at home having retired due to ill health.