AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.

[TakesTheCake]

We have lived on a small square for four years, where the neighbours are pretty unfriendly and insular (unlike our old street, where they were all lovely and welcoming and mutual support abounded :-( ), and two doors away lives a couple who have always been reasonably friendly and cordial.

Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away.

The kids were dismayed when they saw her doing it, and thought they had done something wrong. It felt really horrible for me too, as I don’t think kids’ chalk drawings are out of order in any way, and will wash away in the next rain. They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments that spilled over, and they have literally never drawn on the road in the whole four years we have lived there.

She saw me see her doing it, and it feels really awkward now. I would rather she had come over and just straightforwardly said it bothers her to see it from her window and could I make sure it isn’t outside her house again. Washing it away felt passive aggressive, or she really feels I let them do something out of order and wrong.

AIBU to have let them? Are children’s chalk drawings on the road (NOT her driveway or even close) not OK?

Pavements are for people walking to and from a destination, roads are for cars, buses, bicycles or crossing to get to the other side

What about children skipping, that banned As well? Or on their scooters?

@Bella43

I think it's fine. I loved doing this as a child. The rain will wash it away eventually so I can't see what the problem is. If it were me, I'd just tell my children not to chalk her drive in future to avoid any further awkwardness. Shame really though. Kids will be kids an all.

It wasn't her....

Oh bollocks, I can't be bothered

🤣🤣🤣

I used to chalk on the pavement. Don't know what her problem is

Pavements are for people walking to and from a destination, roads are for cars, buses, bicycles or crossing to get to the other side
And I agree kids sprawled across an area so it couldn't be used for its function would be annoying but they didn't do anything which affected anyone elses use of it, except as scenery

It's lovely for you to only ever live in areas with big gardens and nice parks (and that you can afford to just up and move on a whim of you don't like anyone in your street)but lots of kids don't

My 7yo is happily filling up our driveway with his drawings today, and I have told him some Tangfastics are in it for him if he can fill the whole space. The neighbours will still have to see it but, oh well!

Pic attached so people can see it’s really not willies and arses. Still amazed so many people find kids’ chalkings such an offence/irritant... learned something new there. Never knew I was a tearaway living recklessly outside the law every time I hopscotched as a kid!

I like the drain monster the best, give him an extra sweet for that. Maybe he could knock next door and ask for requests 😜

I can't believe they chalked on her driveway

@Butwasitherdriveway

I can't believe they chalked on her driveway

I know. We are such CF neighbours! 🤗

@Babdoc

Kids have chalked on roads and pavements for generations. We used to chalk out hopscotch squares back in the 1950’s and 60’s, and nobody complained. It’s rather sad that your neighbour apparently objects to a harmless activity. There are plenty of worse things your DC could have been doing out there! Maybe suggest to your DC that they chalk anywhere except directly outside the house of the grumpy neighbour.

Yeah and then piss the rest of your neighbours off !

The world is full of mums who think it is perfectly Ok for their kids to chalk on pavements, trample flowers , ride their bikes on grass , use the streets as a skatepark because they are children and having fun . It will of course vary from area to area . People who have paid over 500k for houses don't expect this shit and usually it is against the deed by laws.

Wow, can’t believe how many pages of comments this thread has. I came on to say that I have 12 year old DS and would be overjoyed if he had wanted to do chalking with his younger sister. Children have had a rubbish year and things like this would make me so happy. Your neighbour sounds slightly unhinged calling it an ‘offence’ but lockdown has changed many people!

@TakesTheCake

My 7yo is happily filling up our driveway with his drawings today, and I have told him some Tangfastics are in it for him if he can fill the whole space. The neighbours will still have to see it but, oh well!

Pic attached so people can see it’s really not willies and arses. Still amazed so many people find kids’ chalkings such an offence/irritant... learned something new there. Never knew I was a tearaway living recklessly outside the law every time I hopscotched as a kid!

Perfect - it's on your own driveway .

@Swishswish26

Wow, can’t believe how many pages of comments this thread has. I came on to say that I have 12 year old DS and would be overjoyed if he had wanted to do chalking with his younger sister. Children have had a rubbish year and things like this would make me so happy. Your neighbour sounds slightly unhinged calling it an ‘offence’ but lockdown has changed many people!

Right?! I was so happy the 12yo joined in for once (he doesn’t want to today, more typically), so it was sad to see them so dismayed and thinking they’d done wrong when the neighbour washed it all. And he got called a weirdo in comments on here for doing chalking as a 12yo boy. So many judgmental, joyless fun-hoovers in the world. Luckily, all balanced out by all the funny and supportive replies on here.

BehindMyEyes Wed 31-Mar-21 13:01:16
Babdoc

Kids have chalked on roads and pavements for generations. We used to chalk out hopscotch squares back in the 1950’s and 60’s, and nobody complained.
It’s rather sad that your neighbour apparently objects to a harmless activity. There are plenty of worse things your DC could have been doing out there!
Maybe suggest to your DC that they chalk anywhere except directly outside the house of the grumpy neighbour.

Yeah and then piss the rest of your neighbours off !

The world is full of mums who think it is perfectly Ok for their kids to chalk on pavements, trample flowers , ride their bikes on grass , use the streets as a skatepark because they are children and having fun . It will of course vary from area to area . People who have paid over 500k for houses don't expect this shit and usually it is against the deed by laws.
.........
Well said, you've hit the nail on the head.

People who have paid over 500k for houses don't expect this shit

Wow, there are a lot of twats in the world.

I mostly come across them on here thankfully.

OP, your neighbour was lucky - I came home from work one day last year (shortly before the US Election) to find Eldest had used ALL our coloured chalk to write:

BOLLOCKS
TO TRUMP

In foot high letters on our drive.

While I agreed with the sentiment and artistry, I had to point out our neighbours would not be amused. Eldest was quite cross, as they felt it was a legitimate point .

Thankfully it was close to the house, and upside down from the road.

At times, parenting a teen with ADHD has a lot in common with parenting a 2yo. I keep coming home to 'situations'. Thankfully the chalk was comparatively minor. Last week's efforts mean I have to get 2 trees removed (£££).

@TheKeatingFive

People who have paid over 500k for houses don't expect this shit

Wow, there are a lot of twats in the world.

I mostly come across them on here thankfully.

and thankfully I don't live with many of the "it's all fun" Mums . Bring your kids up to have some respect for other people.

People who have paid over 500k for houses just need to get out more and get the chalk out.

Bring your kids up to have some respect for other people.

What’s disrespectful about a temporary drawing on a pavement?

The world is full of mums who think it is perfectly Ok for their kids to chalk on pavements, trample flowers , ride their bikes on grass , use the streets as a skatepark because they are children and having fun oh glad to see it's only the poor, shitty, scummy mom's not Dad's who are to blame for crime in disorder on the ghettos 🙄 and there's a difference between using something that causes no harm to it and destroying something. It's rather sad you don't know the difference between use and destroy given how rich and classy you are 🙄

People who have paid over 500k for houses don't expect this shit and usually it is against the deed by laws how does that barometer work exactly?? Arguably in areas where wages are lower, owning a 500k house is a bigger achievement than in areas where it's higher. So on the "well to do scale" the less affluent area you'd be more well to do than in the more affluent areas to afford the same things. Does this mean theres a direct negative correlation between affluence of area and tolerance / open mindness / empathy?

@TheKeatingFive

Bring your kids up to have some respect for other people.

What’s disrespectful about a temporary drawing on a pavement?

Compared to basically saying that if you down own a 500k+ house you're basically a terrible parent raising delinquents like @TakesTheCake is.

@Butwasitherdriveway

People who have paid over 500k for houses just need to get out more and get the chalk out.

Maybe some chalking therapy to chalk about their feelings?

Let's talk about chalk, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things chalk may be
Let's talk about chalk
Let's talk about chalk

Let's talk about chalk for now
To the people at home or in the crowd
It keeps coming up anyhow
Don't be coy, avoid, or hose it down
Cuz that ain't gonna stop it
Now we talk about chalk on the radio and video shows
Many will know anything goes
Let's tell it how it is, and how it could be
How it was, and of course, how it should be
Those who think it's chavvy, have a choice
Pick up the chalk,…

Id be happy to see children having fun. She must be miserable

He said it was an “offence” to chalk on the road and they were shocked.

Shocked? They have had sheltered lives. For the law nerds, it might be an offence - the case is Hardman v CC Avon & Somerset where CND had used water soluble paint to draw human silhouettes on the ground representing the deaths at Hiroshima. They were convicted of criminal damage because notwithstanding the paint had washed away and would have washed away with rain in a couple of days, the local authority had incurred expense to remove it immediately.

However there is a defence if the person believes that the owner of the property "would have consented to it if he or they had known of the destruction or damage and its circumstances" and I reckon your local council would give zero fucks about chalk on a road put there by children when they can't do much else because of the pandemic. Plus this is academic anyway because the little ones are under the age of criminal responsibility. So I don't think the neighbour is quite right to say it's an offence.

But anyway, more to the point, I can't believe you let your children draw cocks all over the neighbour's house in permanent marker and then demand payment for the provision of their artwork

For the law nerds

Ain't any here