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AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.

999 replies

TakesTheCake · 28/03/2021 19:10

We have lived on a small square for four years, where the neighbours are pretty unfriendly and insular (unlike our old street, where they were all lovely and welcoming and mutual support abounded :-( ), and two doors away lives a couple who have always been reasonably friendly and cordial.

Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away.

The kids were dismayed when they saw her doing it, and thought they had done something wrong. It felt really horrible for me too, as I don’t think kids’ chalk drawings are out of order in any way, and will wash away in the next rain. They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments that spilled over, and they have literally never drawn on the road in the whole four years we have lived there.

She saw me see her doing it, and it feels really awkward now. I would rather she had come over and just straightforwardly said it bothers her to see it from her window and could I make sure it isn’t outside her house again. Washing it away felt passive aggressive, or she really feels I let them do something out of order and wrong.

AIBU to have let them? Are children’s chalk drawings on the road (NOT her driveway or even close) not OK?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2021 14:29

@WiseOwlOne

Id be happy to see children having fun. She must be miserable
Can you please confirm the average cost of homes in your area and the % of home owners. 🤣🤣
HandyHarry · 31/03/2021 14:46

Can I just say as a homeowner of a £500+ property I've no objection to chalk. I've an objection to stuck up their own arse neighbours though!

TheKeatingFive · 31/03/2021 14:48

Can I just say as a homeowner of a £500+ property I've no objection to chalk.

Stop this crazy talk. You deserve better, with all your riches. Wink

Rukaya · 31/03/2021 14:55

I think all homes cost more than 500 pounds.

tangerinelollipop · 31/03/2021 15:10

OP, there's nothing wrong with the drawings per se (they are cute)

But some people do not appreciate others' aesthetical interventions on communal spaces (whether it's happy children, Banksy or Picasso). They may consider them inappropriate, unsightly but above all intrusive - an invasion of public space of sorts.

It's how some perceive it, you shouldn't take it personally.

Scbchl · 31/03/2021 15:26

Some people need to get a bit of perspective and get a fucking grip of themselves 😂

wingsnthat · 31/03/2021 15:31

They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments

Noise nuisance perhaps? If they were outside playing for hours on end, neighbours couldn’t 1. Use the same space (you said it’s a communal area?) And 2. Would hear allllllll the noise carrying through, especially if it was hot and they had their windows open to feel a comfortable temperature

SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2021 16:01

I have zero sympathy for people living in an area with houses of multiple bedrooms complaining about the noise of children playing between 8-8 and babies crying at any time.

KOKOagainandagain · 31/03/2021 16:10

OP your 12 year old (practically adult) is far too old to be chalking inoffensive 'art' with minors!

FFS let him grow up - by now he should have graduated onto spray paint. You are stunting his development!

sanfranfibber · 31/03/2021 16:37

Did you correct him on the 'it's an offence' point OP?

TakesTheCake · 31/03/2021 18:30

@wingsnthat

They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments

Noise nuisance perhaps? If they were outside playing for hours on end, neighbours couldn’t 1. Use the same space (you said it’s a communal area?) And 2. Would hear allllllll the noise carrying through, especially if it was hot and they had their windows open to feel a comfortable temperature

No, as they rarely play outside - once a week at most. NN’s boy lives elsewhere and is only here every now and then too. There is really no noise nuisance to have built up irritation about. The square is mostly older/retired people.
OP posts:
TakesTheCake · 31/03/2021 18:32

@sanfranfibber

Did you correct him on the 'it's an offence' point OP?
No as am not sure. It seems to be a bit woolly in law as to whether chalking constitutes graffiti or not. But regardless of whether it is an offence, if I know something the kids do is bothering someone I will generally make sure they don’t do it, if it is not a huge deal to us to stop. I just now privately think they are utterly tragic but it’s their right to be utterly tragic if they want to be, I guess.
OP posts:
fizbosshoes · 31/03/2021 18:35

I think some people (some of whom are on MN) would be better off living in the outer hebrides miles from another dwelling considering the (fairly normal) things they find offensive but would probably still need amazon and ocado to deliver

olympicsrock · 31/03/2021 18:43

What a bloody mess - no thanks! On your own drive only!

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 31/03/2021 18:52

Butwasitherdriveway
RogueMNerKnowsNoShame
For the love of Holy chalk, @mnhq, please could this thread (or perhaps just 2 or 3 of the posters on it) go into classics to chalk for eternity?

You want to send us away?

Not at all @Butwasitherdriveway. Just the opposite. I think your work here (and that of a few others on this thread) needs to be preserved for future generations to enjoy and learn from!

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 31/03/2021 18:56

and thankfully I don't live with many of the "it's all fun" Mums . Bring your kids up to have some respect for other people.

D'ya know, it is actually possible to do both. Simultaneously.

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 31/03/2021 18:58

@fizbosshoes

I think some people (some of whom are on MN) would be better off living in the outer hebrides miles from another dwelling considering the (fairly normal) things they find offensive but would probably still need amazon and ocado to deliver
they'll be fine as long as the local shop sells chalk
fizbosshoes · 31/03/2021 19:21

they'll be fine as long as the local shop sells chalk

"Local" being 15 miles away! Wink
.. which is good because their early morning deliveries might be noisy!

mealsonwheelz · 31/03/2021 19:31

I totally get it OP, it's the shaming of your kids in a very public mean-spirited way.

theleafandnotthetree · 31/03/2021 19:42

@RogueMNerKnowsNoShame

and thankfully I don't live with many of the "it's all fun" Mums . Bring your kids up to have some respect for other people.

D'ya know, it is actually possible to do both. Simultaneously.

This! It is entirely possible to raise children to enjoy themselves, live in and enjoy their surroundings as other humans/citizens do and as is their right AND be basically respectful of other people. They will get it wrong occasionally AS DO WE ALL but the solution to a child occasionslly over-stepping the mark is not to never allow them to play in shared public spaces, it's to moderate their behaviour where necessary. And I think all adults have a responsibility and right to do that. My son and his friends have been roared at once of twice, pretty justifiably so and have learned from that. Having said all that, writing in chalk on the pavement seems to be very sweet and innocent and I struggle to see how anyone not on the extreme end of misanthropy could have a problem with it.
SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2021 20:05

@olympicsrock

What a bloody mess - no thanks! On your own drive only!
But the ops teenager kids really like drawing in the neighbours drive, it's smoother
Sweetpea1532 · 31/03/2021 20:52

@TakesTheCake

OP, have you heard the great news?....
In an effort to get London Theatre back in business after the long lock downs, one of the Houses is set to revive "Oliver Twist"...
I do believe that Mr. NDN might be eligible for the starring role of Mr.Bumble....as we've seen by his reply, he doesn't even need any theatrical trainingGrin
...

Sweetpea1532 · 31/03/2021 20:55

And of course the role of Mrs. Corney can be played by you-know-who

Chillychangchoo · 31/03/2021 20:56

What a sad, bitter, horrible neighbour you have.

Be grateful you aren’t like her. How you can get worked up over a bit of chalk I don’t know, it really is pathetic.

Homehaircuts · 31/03/2021 20:58

Pathetic move on her part imo

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