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AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.

999 replies

TakesTheCake · 28/03/2021 19:10

We have lived on a small square for four years, where the neighbours are pretty unfriendly and insular (unlike our old street, where they were all lovely and welcoming and mutual support abounded :-( ), and two doors away lives a couple who have always been reasonably friendly and cordial.

Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away.

The kids were dismayed when they saw her doing it, and thought they had done something wrong. It felt really horrible for me too, as I don’t think kids’ chalk drawings are out of order in any way, and will wash away in the next rain. They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments that spilled over, and they have literally never drawn on the road in the whole four years we have lived there.

She saw me see her doing it, and it feels really awkward now. I would rather she had come over and just straightforwardly said it bothers her to see it from her window and could I make sure it isn’t outside her house again. Washing it away felt passive aggressive, or she really feels I let them do something out of order and wrong.

AIBU to have let them? Are children’s chalk drawings on the road (NOT her driveway or even close) not OK?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Norwaydidnthappen · 29/03/2021 16:44

Some people are just miserable. I’m sure it will rain at some point this week and be washed away, she just made herself look like a dick.

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 29/03/2021 17:29

We had neighbours like that on our street, we live on an enclosed 'walk' and she would deliberately come out to glare and comment, then swill it away saying it was making the street look like an eyesore. We just let the kids carry on doing it, she sharp got sick of washing it away. They weren't doing any harm.

TinselTinsel · 29/03/2021 17:34

Your neigbour is being miserable, your kids have don nothing wrong!
My best mate currently has my name chalked on her wall next to her front door because yes I am that sad haha. It's been there since last year when I was playing with her kids on the front .

Seriously1996 · 29/03/2021 17:43

You always get one or two who have to dig at every detail .OP isn't asking if you think its dangerous for her children to play outside .I'm sure she is more than capable of assessing the situation herself.
Yes OP your neighbour is being a total killjoy

Theoldwrinkley · 29/03/2021 17:59

Not to be too controlling (wrong word, but I can’t think of more appropriate) I think it is illegal.
I dislike chalking on roads or pavements. It makes the area look scruffy.

Fgs1 · 29/03/2021 18:04

It was probably the shouting and screaming outside of her house as the kids were playing that annoyed her

GingerGurl · 29/03/2021 18:05

@peanutbutterjimjams

Tell them to chalk Fun Sponge with an arrow pointing to her house next time.
Lol!!! What a great saying, fun sponge, polite and accurate.
Cony95 · 29/03/2021 18:08

Don't bother yourself. As long as it's not her driveway I don't see why it is bothering her. Just tell your kids to draw what they want maybe just more close to your driveway to make sure it won't be washed away again.

ViaRia · 29/03/2021 18:09

I remember this happening to me when I was a child, chalking on the floor of the pavement outside a neighbour's house. The neighbour may not have washed it away but she certainly came outside to politely tell me that I must stop vandalising the street.
I was mortified and apologetic. I had never thought of my lovely drawings as vandalism (I thought it wasn't really a problem as the rain would wash it all away) but I understood immediately once she'd explained it to me in that way.
All was well after that - she was a pleasant neighbour and I just found something else to do.
Nowadays, I think it is probably not OK to let your child chalk in public areas. The fact that you permitted it at first isn't really a big deal but hopefully you can now see that not everyone sees it in the same way and we have to accept that when we're sharing a space with someone else.

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 18:14

@Fgs1

It was probably the shouting and screaming outside of her house as the kids were playing that annoyed her
What shouting and screaming ?
helpIhateclothesshopping · 29/03/2021 18:14

Unless they were chalking obscenities (which it doesn't sound like they were), then I think she is being a bit of a misery guts. Yes, they generally wash away in the rain, except when protected by carports etc. So what harm can it do? Sounds like one more person trying to prevent kids from having any fun that isn't in their own room, online with headphones on.

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 18:15

@Theoldwrinkley

Not to be too controlling (wrong word, but I can’t think of more appropriate) I think it is illegal. I dislike chalking on roads or pavements. It makes the area look scruffy.
And dog shit and chewing gum and pot holes does?

It's also certainly not illegal Grin

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 18:15

@helpIhateclothesshopping

Unless they were chalking obscenities (which it doesn't sound like they were), then I think she is being a bit of a misery guts. Yes, they generally wash away in the rain, except when protected by carports etc. So what harm can it do? Sounds like one more person trying to prevent kids from having any fun that isn't in their own room, online with headphones on.
Rtft.

They drew massive penises and wrote 'Bore off neighbour', going by some of these responses

Sweetpea1532 · 29/03/2021 18:16

@TakesTheCake
Your neighbour would absolutely hate my DH! HahahalolGrin
After our first DC was born, DH painted a HUGE birth announcement in brown paint on our 3m wide garage door that faces the very busy road in our village...everybody (ha!) loved it, (NOT).
We did get some sweet notes from strangers saying it was nice to see someone so excited about having a new LO...one lady dropped off a darling pair of knitted baby shoes... we kept in touch with several of the well wishers and exchanged Christmas cards for years.

Oh no! I just realised how dangerous that all must sound to younger mnetters! This was in the 1980's before weirdos were running around kidnapping newborns and other horrible crimes...such a generally much more innocent time.Hmm

LittleRed53 · 29/03/2021 18:18

Letting them go as far as throwing the miserable curtain-twitcher into a chalk-making machine and then using the resulting chalks to draw occult symbols on her driveway was going a little far, though, if I'm being honest.

If it had only been on the road, okay, but not on her own driveway. No amount of hosing will get that kind of stain off... Confused

Cony95 · 29/03/2021 18:19

Ohh and also don't bother about the soo worried safety police officer around here, as if all people would listen before open the mouth (or read before replying in this case) would not be the case to worry. I also hate lots of things that actually let my kids do because they are kids and have the right to play. I feel bad for them as they have so limited space and time of play comparing to what I had as a kid so just ignore some bad mouth

AWamBamBoom · 29/03/2021 18:21

Although its not doing any harm , it is antisocial to assume others don't mind , I'd just let them chalk on my property , then no one gets upset

SpnBaby1967 · 29/03/2021 18:29

It's also certainly not illegal

@Butwasitherdriveway

Dont be so naive, you must know Chalk is the gateway drug to sharpies Hmm

EmmaGrundyForPM · 29/03/2021 18:32

A similar situation happened to me and my friend when we were out with our children and they were playing a game in a place they technically shouldn't but not causing any issues whatsoever and having a great time. A man came along and told then to stop. Which they did. Friends son asked my friend "why doesn't that man want us playing here?" to which she replied very loudly and pointedly "because he's forgotten what it's like to be a child". Which I thought was a brilliant response.

knockles · 29/03/2021 18:32

Some people need to lighten up. Should appreciate children playing in the sunshine after months of being separated inside.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2021 18:35

Butwasitherdriveway

What shouting and screaming ?

Doh. From the board of rampaging teenagers screaming death metal lyrics as they chalked beasties on her driveway, up the walls and over the floor before licking Bo's the dog and feeding him Mr Jones' cat.

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 18:35

@SpnBaby1967

It's also certainly not illegal

@Butwasitherdriveway

Dont be so naive, you must know Chalk is the gateway drug to sharpies Hmm

Not Sharpies 😭
Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 18:35

@SleepingStandingUp was it you who said yesterday you hate kids making noise but they insist they have to live there 🤣

SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2021 18:37

@NurseButtercup

Sad to read how unhappy people are to see kids, outside playing in the sunshine getting fresh air, happily drawing on the pavement & road. The chalk washes away fgs!
I don't like children having fun. I did not have children so they could have fun. I had them to secure my dynasty
Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 18:39

Sleeping have you fed them kids yet?

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