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AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.

999 replies

TakesTheCake · 28/03/2021 19:10

We have lived on a small square for four years, where the neighbours are pretty unfriendly and insular (unlike our old street, where they were all lovely and welcoming and mutual support abounded :-( ), and two doors away lives a couple who have always been reasonably friendly and cordial.

Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away.

The kids were dismayed when they saw her doing it, and thought they had done something wrong. It felt really horrible for me too, as I don’t think kids’ chalk drawings are out of order in any way, and will wash away in the next rain. They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments that spilled over, and they have literally never drawn on the road in the whole four years we have lived there.

She saw me see her doing it, and it feels really awkward now. I would rather she had come over and just straightforwardly said it bothers her to see it from her window and could I make sure it isn’t outside her house again. Washing it away felt passive aggressive, or she really feels I let them do something out of order and wrong.

AIBU to have let them? Are children’s chalk drawings on the road (NOT her driveway or even close) not OK?

OP posts:
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IWishIWasABaller · 29/03/2021 18:40

Pity you didnt say anything when you saw her washing it away

MadMadaMim · 29/03/2021 18:41

The neighbour doesn't own the road and as long as they're not being rude, annoying anyone, or drawing questionable pics, your children can chalk away IMO.

By the same token, you also do not own the road and if the neighbour doesn't like it and scrubs it away, then she's completely within her rights to do so.

She could have been nicer about it and waited a bit but there could also be 100 reasons why she didn't.

As for the children feeling bad - that's on you, not the neighbour. You're responsible for how they see/interpret things, not the neighbour. Maybe have a chat with them explaining that the neighbour thought they'd finished and washed it away helpfully - chalk drawings are temporary and that's part of their charm.

As for the neighbour, I'd need to speak with them or I'd spend weeks mentally dissecting it all. Non confrontaional. 'hi. I noticed you hosed away the chalk drawings pretty quickly and am thinking maybe they annoyed you a little. I'm sorry if that's the case. The children were a bit upset thinking they'd done something naughty, which I assured them they absolutely did not. I'll let you know in advance when we're having our next art session on the street and would kindly ask that you wait until the next day before washing it all away.

We're in a year long restricted life atm and she needs to be a little more tolerant.

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 29/03/2021 18:43

'RAN THE HOSE ON HER DRIVEWAY AND STARTED SCRUBBING...'etc.
Other comments have picked up on this as being the action her neighbour took.
OP was probably describing the neighbour as unrolling the hose down her drive to the road.

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 18:44

@Dontwanttolivewithmylover

'RAN THE HOSE ON HER DRIVEWAY AND STARTED SCRUBBING...'etc. Other comments have picked up on this as being the action her neighbour took. OP was probably describing the neighbour as unrolling the hose down her drive to the road.
Yes. The hose is on her driveway.

I appreciate it maybe wasn't clear but anyone reading more than two pages of the thread would know.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2021 18:45

[quote Butwasitherdriveway]@SleepingStandingUp was it you who said yesterday you hate kids making noise but they insist they have to live there 🤣[/quote]
Yes. Three of them.

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 18:46

How irritating. Do they use chalk?

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 29/03/2021 18:46

@MadMadaMim
Great comment.

Alaimo · 29/03/2021 18:48

I think it's really sad that the neighbour was so keen to get rid of it. Even if they think that whatever 'art' your kids produced is awful, they have to be a pretty miserable git to not just wait for the next rainshower to wash it away.

Hamhockandmash · 29/03/2021 18:48

Just to let you know, chalking the public pavement is actually illegal! Daft I know, but you have to get a license.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2021 18:48

@Butwasitherdriveway

Sleeping have you fed them kids yet?
In my defense,one is a bloody bigger to fed so I feed him to spite him (he'd happily go hungry 😭), and the other two to shut them up. And because fat toddlers are cute. I do EXCEEDINGLY gorgeous boys.
SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2021 18:49

@Butwasitherdriveway

How irritating. Do they use chalk?
Two would eat it. The fat ones.
Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 18:50

🤣🤣🤣🤣

JustSleepAlready · 29/03/2021 18:51

Some people just can’t stand seeing others happy. They don’t own the road or the path outside of their garden so yea, they can wash it away, but no, it wouldn’t stop me letting them do it. Maybe just ask them to stick to outside your own house. As you say, things can quickly go awkward with neighbours over literally nothing.

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 29/03/2021 18:52

I'd much rather see children playing hopscotch or other outdoor games (within reason) than a silent street with overweight kids eating pizza in their bedroom playing computer games all day and no sunshine or fresh air.

Therarestone · 29/03/2021 18:52

Just wondering if maybe she cleaned it off because she knows it would cause grief with other neighbours? Could it have been a way of saving you from drama?

Lochmorlich · 29/03/2021 18:53

Appen @jessstan2 lives on a frigate.

Oscarsdaddy · 29/03/2021 18:53

I live on a new build estate, most houses are tucked away in ‘private’ drives shared by around 4-6 houses

When the pandemic started a couple of the houses in our shared driveway started drawing NHS rainbows on the tarmac which was fine but they started to draw random stuff in chalk on the drive a month or so ago which pissed me off.

It’s a private drive shared between houses and any ongoing maintenance is shared equally between the houses in the drive. Some of the neighbours kids had their friends over also drawing. I felt like going round their houses and drawing on their drives.

Yes by all means allow your kids to make a mess but clear it up afterwards.

viccytwiffy · 29/03/2021 19:00

its a lesson in 'site specific art'.. if you want to make art to keep, then you do it on your own land... they took the risk making the drawings on a public highway./place... so their time and effort was wasted and lost... they will remember next time... if they thought they were doing a 'nice thing for everyone' then they will remember 'don't give people anything that they haven't asked for'... its quite a grown up issue to learn at a young age and they learnt the hard way.... get them to talk about the logistics and politics of it rather than let them get sad about it... otherwise it really will be a waste... not everyone has to like art... and it is a bit of an eyesore to be honest... even though I would have left it there myself... it is a bit cringe to make art so publically - were they after praise? then something more productive would have worked for them....

SchadenfreudePersonified · 29/03/2021 19:01

You shouldn't have let them calk on her driveway - that's quite ill-mannered - but otherwise there's no reason why they shouldn't;t calk away.

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 19:01

@viccytwiffy

its a lesson in 'site specific art'.. if you want to make art to keep, then you do it on your own land... they took the risk making the drawings on a public highway./place... so their time and effort was wasted and lost... they will remember next time... if they thought they were doing a 'nice thing for everyone' then they will remember 'don't give people anything that they haven't asked for'... its quite a grown up issue to learn at a young age and they learnt the hard way.... get them to talk about the logistics and politics of it rather than let them get sad about it... otherwise it really will be a waste... not everyone has to like art... and it is a bit of an eyesore to be honest... even though I would have left it there myself... it is a bit cringe to make art so publically - were they after praise? then something more productive would have worked for them....
Like how many celebrities made awful videos and people clapped, you mean?
Sweetpea1532 · 29/03/2021 19:02

@TakesTheCake

You could always tell NDN your DC are practicing for this event since they've been personally invited as guest artists by the
POTUS(President of the US)

AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.
SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2021 19:09

@SchadenfreudePersonified

You shouldn't have let them calk on her driveway - that's quite ill-mannered - but otherwise there's no reason why they shouldn't;t calk away.
I noonger know what's satirical and what's poor reading comprehension / spelling
Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 19:13

Same sleeping. We have ruined it.

HandyHarry · 29/03/2021 19:13

@SchadenfreudePersonified are you actually serious?

JustSleepAlready · 29/03/2021 19:16

@viccytwiffy

You’re a hoot. 😂

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