Early Noughties teen mag ridiculousness

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

Does anyone remember the little nuggets if totally ridiculous advice they’d give you in teen magazines?

I used to be an avid reader of Shout! magazine. The main goal of these magazines seemed to be being popular and having boys notice you obviously, and were filled with totally mad tips on how to achieve these things and not be a ‘geek’ who wasn’t interested. Which is totally inappropriate advice these days, happily.

I remember one was ‘if you are invited to a party, arrive late and leave early! You are a social butterfly who has had to squeeze the party in between other engagements’

Happily I HAD been invited to a party in my local pub function room that very weekend! I spent a long time applying glitter hair mascara to my fringe to make it clump together attractively (why) and I think I even had on one of those fetching skirt with trousers combos with a vest top from Tammy girl. I got my dad to drive round the block a bit so I could try to be late, but it didn’t take very long and I think I turned up at ten minutes after the start time. I had a few dances to All Saints and Steps and drank a couple of cans of Coke and an hour before it was due to finish, I did a big show of having to rush off.

Now, we lived in a very small town. There was NO WAY any other parties were happening on the same night. But desperately trying to stick to my social butterfly narrative I said goodbye and off I went.

I sat round the corner in the bus shelter until it was time to get picked up. While everyone else was having a nice time at the party

What a knob! When I got to school on the Monday everyone was saying it was rude to leave the party early and I felt like such an idiot.

Can anyone remember any more of the ridiculous things they used to spout in these magazines? I’d love to get my hands one now as I think it would be hilarious

I remember Just 17 always had weight loss tips. One of them was to eat "masses of pasta".
Everything about all of that is wrong.

I remember another magazine had three teen male models on the front. One of them said his major turn off was ginger hair.

Yeah, those magazines made me feel great about myself

God I used to love these magazines - position of the week was a popular one at my school I do think they were pretty good regarding sex education and sending the message that it’s okay not to do anything you don’t want to. I don’t have teenagers but I’m not sure if there’s an equivalent ‘safe place’ teenagers can go with their sex questions/curiosities these days. Every one knew that The Brook Clinic was where you headed for contraception/pregnancy/STD support.

My overriding memory is that bright pink detangling comb, I think it was free with Shout? I managed to keep mine till it was lost in a house move in my twenties. I still miss it

I love Derry Girls (tv). It reminds me so much of this era.

From mizz!

@OwlinaTree

From mizz!

Brilliant! What year is it from? I'm going to guess... 2002?

Hmm wonder if this still applies today

@WhereDoMyBluebirdsFly
1996!

@LagneyandCasey

Oh god yes - I was a teen in the 80's and bought every magazine going. It was always about how to get boys to notice you, how to get him to kiss you, you should practise kissing on a mirror etc 🤮.

And all the BO stuff, we were obsessed! I have a 15 year old teen now and she isn't obsessed with BO. I think it was all a ploy to get us to fork out for gallons of Charlie and Impulse

But I loved them all. I always turned to the problem pages first. Also loved Smash Hits and Look in. I'd love to sit and look at them now and show dd to get her reaction

Someone told me ages ago you can still get all the issues of Smash Hits somewhere. Flikr maybe? I might still have the email somewhere, I'd love to pore over them all again.

@GreenandPinkFlowers

I used to work on Smash Hits in the early 1990s. What a great place.

I always thought Just 17 (aimed at 13-15yos) was good stuff actually, sensible advice about sex and boyfriends from the marvellous Anita Naik.

I remember secretly reading my older sister's More magazine which I'm sure had sex positions in it! I was only about 9 or 10! She used to buy one called Big (I think that's what it was called) and Smash hits which were full of pics and interviews with boybands.

I had my first Saturday job pretty young, I was 14 - my wages just used to go on magazines and chocolate, I'd spend easily £10 which was alot back then, on Just 17 , Mizz and More mag. I'd get really excited about reading them and knew all the dates our local newsagents would have them in!

I still remember the shame of categorising myself (age 16, size 12) as "quite a bit bigger than I wanted to be" as per the analysis of a diet article in a mag, which required you to strip to underwear and carefully analyse body from all angles. To be fair it did also ask you to notice something you liked about yourself, but it was along the lines of "I may have fat thighs but I have nice nails" or something.

I'm sure it was well meaning but it felt like that regular features writer in particular, who usually wrote fun articles not related to looks, was suddenly judging me on my weight, if that makes sense.

Problem page!

Ahhh, let's hear it for those poor girls who are too beautiful.

I used to read Bliss, Sugar and Just17 when I was about 12/13. I loved reading them but hey always used to make me feel really crap about myself. There would be pieces about how you had to have this makeup, or these clothes etc and I had hardly any pocket money and there was no way my parents would buy me all that stuff.
I felt so inadequate because I didn't even know any boys, I went to an all girls school and didn't even have my first kiss until I was 15.

When I was 14 I got into good music and started reading the NME, spending all my pocket money on albums and buying my clothes from Camden market.

I swore that when I had a daughter I wouldn't allow her to read those magazines. But now there is social media instead, which is worse and more difficult to keep kids away from.

I always thought Just 17 (aimed at 13-15yos) was good stuff actually, sensible advice about sex and boyfriends from the marvellous Anita Naik

Last time I read a magazine in a hairdressers I couldn't find an actual article...it was all adverts, hair ajd body care, celeb beach pics etc

We should bring the concept of something to actually read back...

J17 in the 80s ... step-by-step photo tutorials on how to look like Strawberry Switchblade; interviews with Ben Volpierre Pierrot from Curiosity Killed the Cat and Nathan from Brother Beyond ... and of course the obligatory short story from Jessica de Mellow (under a different - and less romantic - name...)

Some lovely phone wallpapers to choose from god, this takes me back.

J17 never failed to have adverts for Shaders & Toners and Anne French cleansing milk.
And Sun-In.

Can’t remember which mag - possibly More - but I clearly remember reading an article where three young women were photographed topless and a “panel” of men judged their breasts. It was brutal. Horrible. Gave me such a hang up about my own, which weren’t as “nice” as any of those photographed.

I loved these mags. I was always sure I recognised someone from school on the questions pages! Cause unlikely 2 more than one person who have a issue with yellow nails from wearing nail varnish all the time!
However when one got passed round on a school trip my crush was collapsing laughing at guys like having their nipples played with! I was heartbroken, what else would I get wrong when we eventually got it on, not that we ever did.

@Jobseeker19

I went to secondary from 2003-2008 and we read Bliss mag and Sugar. I remember when they made them ''hand-bag' friendly they were thicker but half the length.

If it came with a Pineapple brand bag, that bag was the bag that every girl had in school. This happend maybe 3 times.

It used to have tips for clear skin which seemed unattainable

I remember bliss and sugar !! Just had a major flashback 🤣

@GreenandPinkFlowers

Some lovely phone wallpapers to choose from god, this takes me back.

Burberry phone wallpaper. Peak 00s!

Just 17 on sex appeal

I can’t remember which mag it was, more! Or something like that, they said that each time you shave your legs you remove a layer of your suntan 😂 back when I was 14 I believed it and could cry when I had to shave my legs as I was reducing my tan 🤣