What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

[whatsnewpussycat777]

Me

I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door.

No fucker one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach.

What an idiot. 😢

Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?!

Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. certainly not neat

@CabernetSoWhat

I once got on an escalator, got a third of the way up and realised what I wanted was on the floor I was leaving, so I turned around and jumped off.

It was a bizarre impulse. Fortunately, I landed on my feet on the foot plate (though I was wearing heels) and there was no one behind me. I couldn't quite believe I'd done it. Was very embarrassed 😳

I need more detail, @CabernetSoWhat ! Did you jump DOWN or OFF?

I went to spend the night with my boyfriend, we had been away for the weekend. I was in the bath and he offered to pop a load of stuff into the washing machine, I thought great a man who does laundry. He washed everything in my bag, forgot to hang it out to dry and I had to phone work on Monday and say I couldn't come in because I had nothing to wear.

I have alternated between roaring with laughter and almost feeling physically sick at this thread. Have an overwhelming urge to hide the pencil sharpeners.

@MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig

I do not like the pointy or sharp sounding posts

Husband waiting for me outside one stop in the car. When I came out he was slowly reversing so I jumped in. And then realised it was the wrong car
Think I really scared the driver and my husband was watching thinking wtf

DH and best mate were late for a train so running through a station. The travelator going in the correct direction was jam packed full. Instead of running along the normal bit along side which just had a few people on like his mate, DH decided to run along the empty travelator going in the wrong direction. To his credit he managed to keep up with his mate (although that may have been because his mate was laughing too much to run).

I was in a hotel room on my own when for some reason my drunken self decided to role from the head of the bed to the foot (a bit like a child roles down a hill). Problem was I failed to stop at the end and roled clean off the bed crashing to the floor.

Marry my DH........

@Ahmnotacat

I once stood on the end of rake to see if it really does come up and hit you in the face.

It does.

That made me laugh a lot. As did the sexting one.

I've done loads of stupid things, but last year I referred to myself in the third person and as 'Mummy' in a work meeting. Along the lines of 'Mummy will take you through the presentation now'.

Totally love this one. How did you ever live it down? Do you wake up nights flushed with remembered embarrassment?

@MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig

I have alternated between roaring with laughter and almost feeling physically sick at this thread. Have an overwhelming urge to hide the pencil sharpeners.

?

My friend and I both have "things you know you shouldnt be doing but do them anyway" moments. Hers was more heartstopping (for her) than mine!

Mine was putting my brand new expensive white bed linen in the washing machine with a bright pink sheet. Thought "I probably shouldnt be doing this" and did it anyway. Yep, pink linen....

My friend was my MOH. She took the girls (her daughters and mine) BM dresses and hung them on the back of the hotel room door. She clocked the greasy black fire safety hing thing and thought "I probably shouldnt do this" and did it anyway. My father walked through the door and every single one of the dresses got a black streak across it (they were white dresses). She was in pieces, absolutely distraught. Luckily it was a winter wedding so I had bought the girls little fur boleros. So I said that they could just wear them buttoned up as this would cover the mark. She said later that she couldnt believe how cool I was about it, but really, what could I do?! It was an accident and it wasnt like we could get new dresses with about half an hour to go!

She spend most of that half an hour with a pack of wet wipes and got the marks out, bless her!

Marrying my first husband!

@Barney60

Marrying my first husband!

Oh yes.....got that particular Tshirt :o

@MyGazeboisLeaking

I jumped back down to the bottom of the escalator, not off the side. This was in a shop, and the escalator just went up one floor. As I ascended, I was afforded a bird's eye view of the ground floor. I spied what I needed just as my head was coming level with the first floor beam, and I was seized by a sort of desperate panic because I was being taken away from it. I mentally shouted, 'Noooo!' and leapt free of that which sort to deprive me of my much coveted prize (might have been a box of tampax; I was in Boots).

As I became airborne, I realised my overreaction, and the horrendous clang of my stilettos on the metal pad at the bottom made sure to bring it to the attention of the other shoppers.

I can't remember if I bought the tampax.

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

At the beginning of the first lockdown, in a moment of madness from COVID anxiety, I went to bed with a cup of tea in one hand and my phone in the other. I went to Chuck my phone onto my bed and put the tea on the bedside table. Except I got it the wrong way round. You really wouldn't believe that a single cup of tea could saturate a whole king size duvet

Every night I concentrate really hard that I don't do this with my water and phone after reading about the poster who threw her drink at a policeman she thought was a bin

@mam0918

I use a nail brush now

I once put up my umbrella (a huge automatic push button one) in a particularly bad torrential rain storm whilst walking along a very busy major road. I soon regretted it. The wind immediately smashed it into the middle of my face. My nose was bleeding profusely and I just stood there stunned. Several cars stopped to check I was ok. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. The next day I had two black eyes. Rather than tell people I whacked myself in the face with an umbrella, I told them I fell down the stairs. It seemed less embarrassing somehow.

Not me but when I was at uni my friend and I were dancing the night away. She jumped off the stage in this very dramatic way and ended up in a great kneeling pose on the floor. Obviously we gave her a round of applause but she she suddenly said through gritted teeth "I can't fucking get up". We found it hilarious and got her up and danced for another hour before leaving. She ended up in A&E a few hours later, when the booze wore off and her ankle had turned swollen and blue. Turned out she had severely sprained it!

My other friend tripped up a kerb and broke her toe. She danced the night away on that before realising.

My own personal story, and I don't tell this one much. I once fell over in front of the entire local rugby team on a night out. I smacked my head on the floor, legs akimbo. I was wearing pink knickers and my friend thought I had gone commando. As she valiantly bent down to help me (and close my legs!)her boob tube top fell down. I don't remember much of it but I do remember waking up with a terrible headache and whiplash!

@HesSpartacus

Brownie Camp: tried to dry out some wet seaweed - by hanging it on an electric fence.

Currently nursing a massive scrape in the roof of my mouth after holding a torch between my teeth while trying to get the children's bastard pony in from his field. Got headbutted in the torch for my troubles. Eating (and especially drinking alcohol) has been painful all weekend

If you're up for pony/horse related madness, with no bitchiness or "karens" allowed on the group, try Facebook group shiteventersunite. It's like this thread, keeps you literally laughing out loud.

I have ‘wtf did I do that for’ moments most weeks

Few others over the years that stand out though:

When I was 13 I thought it would be a good idea to hold onto a (not particularly big or thick) tree branch and lift my legs up in front of me. Inevitably branch broke, I landed right on my arse and fractured my coccyx. Couldn’t sit down for 2 weeks.

When I was around 8, I decided to climb the A frame of my swing. I slipped and the middle bar went straight between my legs and I dropped full force on the bar right onto my foo-foo. Mom had to check me over to ensure I hadn’t permanently damaged myself.

Few years ago, I was putting a new flat pack wardrobe together. By the time I got to screwing the doors on I was feeling a bit tired, so decided to sit on the shelf to drill some the bottom door screws in. Naturally the shelf collapsed under the weight of my gigantic ass and I went hurtling through the wardrobe and ended up at the bottom.

the poster who threw her drink at a policeman she thought was a bin

😂😂😂

poor man!

Can’t write this without feeling faint.I needed to put a new light bulb in a light fitting over the stair case. Placed chair near staircase banisters. For some reason the light was still switch on as I stood on the chair. Couldn’t get the bulb to screw properly into the light and put my fingers into the light fitting and got the most almighty electric shock and nearly fell off the chair. Dear god. I’m not stupid but the hell did I do it?

@LashesZ ‘burnt off my finger print’

@SteveBrexit

the poster who threw her drink at a policeman she thought was a bin

😂😂😂

poor man!

I need to see this post

@MisiSam

I knew that brexit wasn’t a person......but for years I thought Sinn Fein was - 80s child who had family in Ireland so naturally there was lot of talks and I remember it being on the news a lot