What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

[whatsnewpussycat777]

Me

I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door.

No fucker one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach.

What an idiot. 😢

Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?!

Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. certainly not neat

I had a fad for growing my own chilli's and making my own sauce. I even got Carolina reapers to grow which was good. Made a very potent sauce.
Here's the thing. If you're handling the hottest known to man chilli's, you really should wear gloves.
Even if you think you've washed your hands properly, it lingers. As I discovered when I went to empty my mooncup.

😦😦😦

When we were kids we found a huge plastic barrel in a field. It was enormous and us four 9-10 year old kids all fitted into it easily. So we did what any self respecting kid of that age would do and dragged it to the top of a huge hill climbed inside and rolled down. It went a hell of a lot faster than we expected and only stopped when it smacked into wall. My sister broke her nose, and we thought my friend was dead as she was knocked unconscious. Oh, and did I mention the vomiting on the way down, and spinning round covered in it like we were in a giant washing machine.

@ThisTooShallBeFantastic

Wintry weather, getting dark. XH threw a stick in the raging, flooding, cold river for the dog. She fetched it but couldn’t get back to the bank. He jumps in the river to rescue her. I jump in the river to rescue him. Three DC left on the riverbank, screaming. Dog calmly lets herself drift down to a safe place and gets out, DC grab her and they go back to the car. XH and I follow - eventually - squelching, deeply ashamed. I’d always told the DC never, ever to enter the river to help the dog. The first and only time the dog needed help - yup, in we leap without a second thought. Mortifying.

And I would do the same without a moments thought 🙄 all the while telling my kids not to ever do the same, a classic case of “Don’t do as I do, do as I tell you” which was always drummed into me as a kid.

I decided to be arty-farty and paint the floorboards in our bedroom. Like a knob I started at the door and painted myself into the corner. DH nearly broke a rib laughing and my kids were too amused and kept offering to chuck me food like a sea lion in a zoo getting fish.

A camembert I baked slid off the tray when I was taking it out the oven. I caught it with my hand... It was like molten lava and I ended up getting treatment at the burns unit.

In a hurry making quick lunch of buttered crumpet with honey (jum!) but dregs of honey in plastic squeezy bottle were solid.

As I was in a rush made daft decision to pop it in microwave to melt it, returned to table and as I tipped it towards my crumpet a jet of molten lava honey sprayed out onto my hand. I have never moved so fast to the sink to run cold water on it. It was so hot that some which hit a piece of paper nearby blackened it.

My hand was badly burned but honestly I was happy it had hit me and not my daughter in the highchair beside me!

@Inspirationpending

This thread has brightened up my day.

Years ago spotted my crush in the club, we were on flirty terms so in my haste to make a beeline to him, I completely misjudged the steps down to where he was standing and landed sprawled at his feet.
I don’t remember him at all really but I still cringe at his ‘I’ll give you 1 out of 10 for that entrance’

Did anything further happen with your crush? Or was it unrequited?

I decided to test whether a knife was too sharp for a child to use cutting dough, by dragging the blade across my palm.

It was too sharp.

On a school trip someone persuaded me to get into the shower with him before he got out, because 'it will go cold otherwise' and I then had the awkward situation that he didn't get out as I had somehow imagined he would, as I got in. He was physically repulsive and I just didn't see this coming at all. We both stood there for a while until he finally got out. I didn't dare look down. We were the two teachers in charge of the trip.

Oh god. So many! Mostly horse related.
Turning my horse out in the field, she saw something in the distance and whipped her head round but didn’t bother about fact mine was in the way. No idea how I got home. Rang work to tell them I wouldn’t be in, was definitely concussed. They were quite worried as I was apparently talking about a cat landing on my head so they sent a first aider round to check on me. Luckily by the time she arrived I was fine just a very large lump on my head for a while!

My mum wondered what would happen if she put her whole hand in my young horse’s mouth. She was very upset when he bit his Grandma! Not the pain, but the fact he’d bitten his Grandma. I did wonder what she thought was going to happen.

Riding my horse knowing the saddle wasn’t right and if I wasn’t careful it would slip. Horse was somewhat fresh and went full on rodeo. I didn’t last long after saddle went underneath his stomach.

Trying to fasten my horses girth, hand slipped and I punched myself very hard in the face.

jambeforeclottedcream sadly no although I had a new crush monthly back then
Those were the days

I painted my kitchen sockets

My most wtf thing has to be..while drunk and underage..trying to prove to my mates that a piece of glass wasn't sharp. By dragging it across the back of my hand. Cue...awful awful injury, which is a horrific scar now. I didn't go to hospital though as managed to stem the bleeding but could see tendons and everything, and my hand is kinda half transparent now...just..what was going through my head I don't bloody know. Even when drunk, its just fucking stupidity.

Thoroughly sleep deprived following birth of DD #1. Made myself some pasta for dinner as DH was at work. Took the pan of pasta off the hob and rather than strain it over the sink, I strained it stood by the cooker, pouring boiling hot water all over my feet.

Idiot.

Well there was the time I was slicing the remains of a boneless rolled turkey that we'd cooked for Christmas. There was quite a bit so I decided to slice it all so come could be frozen - very efficient don't ya know!

So sliced a bit and then had to cut a bit of the string that held it together. Was having problems so turned the knife to slice under the string which meant the knife was pointing at my left hand which was holding the whole thing. Of course the knife slipped and I inserted a good portion of an 8 inch butchers knife into my hand. Cue screams for help!

DH (the sympathetic arse) patched me up while suggesting that I shouldn't have tried to cut the string that way and I certainly should have been using a fork to hold the roast instead of my hand.

Balanced a boiling hot cup of tea on my knee whilst wearing a night shirt. I was on the phone to my best friend at the time, I jerked at the hot tea went all over my crotch and upper thighs. It made me scream it was so painful. I'm sure the poor girl thought I was being murdered. So embarrassing.

I jerked and the hot tea* that should be

I once tried to get out of the car without taking my seatbelt off, in front of teenage BiL and his friends.

I took two blunt knives to be sharpened. On the way there I wrapped them in newspaper and all was well. On the way back I also wrapped them in newspaper and put them in my gold leather tote bag which fitted snugly over my shoulder and under my arm

When I got home I took off my down filled jacket and a cloud of feathers floated into the air. My newly sharp and pointy knives had made multiple tiny slices through my beautiful bag and through my jacket. They were both ruined and had to be thrown away. I was very lucky they hadn't also pierced multiple holes in my rib cage and armpits.

Two days later I dropped one of my lovely sharp knives and the point snapped off in two places. 🙁

This is one my DH did. Driving down the motorway in France and the roof box pings open sending pillows, sleeping bags etc into the carriageway. He parks on the hard shoulder, and runs across the luckily quiet motorway to collect every thing. He gets every thing back miraculously and I think he puts it all in the boot. We have some string, so he begins trying to tie it shut with that. Police turn up, he explains and they tell him to drive to next service station and buy straps to keep it closed properly. Police leave, we pull out and within 5 minutes the roof box has popped open again and the contents are again bouncing along the motorway. Motorway has suddenly got busier so not possible to retrieve contents. Drive to service station minus all the bedding for our holiday. I was livid with him at the time for being daft enough to put every thing back in the box after it opened the first time. DH is an optimist and never thinks bad things will happen, certainly not twice, so things like this happen to him all the time.

Aside from marrying my ExH, I have done many, many stupid things; some more life-endangering than others.

Walked away from a cashpoint once forgetting to take the £500 I'd withdrawn to pay the rental deposit on a flat. Waited a few nailbiting days to find out that the machine had sucked the money back in before anyone else could take it, thankfully.

@JustCheesz

I once stood on the end of rake to see if it really does come up and hit you in the face.

It does.

I set my kitchen entirely on fire when I was about 10. I’d put a plastic Tupperware lid with chocolate on to melt (why??) promptly forgot about it, came back to the oven, hob and kitchen cupboards blazing. I told mum I was making toast for my sister so she didn’t bury me under the patio. The firefighters thought it was hilarious thankfully!

When I was 15 I got a train from Norwich to Bristol to meet a boy I’d talked to on MySpace Thank god he wasn’t a 60 year old man that ended up murdering me. We’re still friends 18 years later!

And then there was the time I had spotted a monster spider playing hide and seek around the smoke detector above our bed. Now in some ways I couldn't care less - I'm actually rather fond of spiders, even the huge ones. Then again I don't really want it crawling over me during the night. And i certainly don't want my DH spotting it as he would scream the house down.

So loving wife that I am I decide to hop up on the bed to capture/kill the creature. This seems fairly easy but I had a knee replacement a few weeks earlier and was still a bit unstable when standing so stepping up onto the bed was more difficult than I had anticipated. But I got up there with tissues ready in my hand and reached up to crunch the spider.

That's when I realised that it was a bit too far for me to stretch so I bounced a bit on the bed. The tissues made contact with the spider and I came down a bit hard on my bad leg which collapsed under me. I fell over backwards diagonally across the bed and crashed with my shoulder against the corner of the bedside table.

As I lay there trying to get my breath back i flashed back to all those tv shows about accidental deaths and realised how close I had been from truly serious injury or worse if I'd hit my head instead of my shoulder.

It was only after a couple more minutes that I remembered what I had been trying to do and fortunately discovered I still had the tissues clenched tightly in my hand and they contained well mashed spider. I would have really been upset to lost the bug battle!

Omg Quite a few but a recent one which am embarrassed to tell people about is driving through 3 speed cameras in 2 weeks and getting 6 points, one of them I could do a course for. The worst thing is 1 of them is by my house and I know it's 30mph but for some reason speeded through it twice! Duhh

Go out with my ex for so long. He was a complete tosser and I didn't see that until a long while after. I started going out with him when I was quite young. He worked in the City, always had money, and I admit I was quite dazzled. My dad always warned against him, but who heeds their parents at that age - you always know better don't you.

I went out with him on and off for years before I finally got myself together and ditched him. I ended up in the witness box at the Old Bailey giving evidence against him when he used my name and home address in a scam with 5 other blokes. Thank god he got sent down, because if my dad had got his hands on him, I think he would have killed him, which is saying something as my dad was gentle and kind and always thought the best of everyone.