What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

[whatsnewpussycat777]

Me

I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door.

No fucker one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach.

What an idiot. 😢

Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?!

Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. certainly not neat

So many things, I wouldn't know where to start.

Having staring into the sun competitions as a child in the tropics and developing cataracts probably has to be the most stupid thing.

Left it a bit late to pick up son from after school activity, and couldn't find anywhere to park - parked in a spot that had a dropped kerb and a car parked behind it but I think also had a slightly faded parking spot marked alongside it, so I wondered if it might not be an official driveway (some aren't around here) and anyway I'd only be a few minutes.

Came back to a neighbour glaring at me, telling me the person in the house was a doctor and could have been on call and what was I thinking blocking them in. I felt so ashamed and like such a cunt... I was terrified that he'd taken a photo and I was going to appear on some 'name and shame' website or be reported to the school and I toyed with delivering a card and flowers to the doctor's house with fulsome apologies, then i realised I'd just have to live with the fact that some strangers might assume on the basis of my actions that I was a selfish bitch, and I'd have to live with that and not draw it out any more.

Not that long ago (I was a fully grown adult). Visiting a petting farm, and in the goat enclosure. One young lop eared goat v sweet, was making lots of eye contact. I petted it and it sort of suckled my finger, so I wiggled my finger onto its tooth as I was curious how they felt. Thought to self, I should be careful I don’t get bitten, then RE-INSERTED my finger to feel the goats flat ridged molar, and quite reasonably, the goat thought ‘food’ and started chewing. Very painful and bloody finger resulted, my OH was incredulous I would risk doing it a second time

Bought one of those home leg waxing kits. Put the jar of wax in the microwave to melt, took it out and promptly dropped it on the tiled floor. It smashed, shards of glass and hot wax cut and burnt my leg. What’s worse I didn’t have anything on my feet, so I had to tip toe out of the kitchen to get some slippers. Scraping glass shards encased in rapidly cooling wax off a tiled floor is not easy.

When I was about 14 I was chewing gum in the bath, as you do. For some reason I decided to see what would happen if I took the gum out of my mouth and put it on my pubic hair. It got stuck, that’s what happened, and it was very painful trying to cut it out.

Not me but my mum. Walking into the supermarket together past one of those Join the AA type stands. Man says “Have you thought of joining Madam? Instead of simply saying no thanks I don’t drive for some reason my mum panics and says “Oh no me no drivey drivey” and carries on into Sainsbury’s leaving me and the poor AA man looking at each other.

Tesco in town, the up escalator was broke so they switched the down one to go up instead. I didn’t notice this and got on the usual down escalator, only to be catapulted back up and land sprawled on my arse at the top.

@Whatisthisfuckery
I am howling with laughter at this! Sorry!

When I was younger I was in a bar and decided to try every spirit with Red Bull.

All of the 'cockrails' just tasted like Red Bull, except Cointreau which tasted of Cointreau, which I hate.

The Baileys and Red Bull curdled, and I was very sick afterwards.

Steve Brexit has reminded me that I spent an embarrassingly long time thinking that Rio Ferdinand was a football team 😳

Used glue to put wallpaper up and stuck my fingers together. I had a job interview the next day so used that panic to split my fingers apart. Thank goodness it worked.

That's all I'm admitting to.

I spent years thinking Snow Gates was a place, and wondering why anyone would live there when the road is always getting closed in bad weather.

Moved back to the UK...joined just to add this, really.

@IncludeWomenInTheSequel

Stapled my finger to see if it hurt.

Yep, me too, when I was a teenager, I should add. I asked my two adult kids if they did it, my son (standard) said he had, my daughter (sensible and level headed) said of course not, don’t be so stupid. Son and I look knowingly at each other. Still no idea why I did it!

@icelollycraving

👀 I’m sat next to him tbh.

I feel your pain, me too!

I ripped out my nipple piercing whilst closing / opening? The shower door

When I was a kid I was running about outside my flats and fell in a tiny manhole and had to be rescued by the fire brigade

I chopped the end off my thumb last year, my first thought was "glad I'm not doing onions, I wouldn't be able to tell which bit was skin"

I have millions more but I need to engage my brain 😂

[quote Frequentlymisunderstood]@Moonflower12 it’s mount of Venus on your hand, mound of Venus is a totally different area [/quote]
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I had a fad for growing my own chilli's and making my own sauce. I even got Carolina reapers to grow which was good. Made a very potent sauce.
Here's the thing. If you're handling the hottest known to man chilli's, you really should wear gloves.
Even if you think you've washed your hands properly, it lingers. As I discovered when I went to empty my mooncup.

DH used hand sanitizer and then put his contact lenses in. I didn't know he could scream in such a high pitch.

@flappityflippers1

I am in stitches at these 😂😂

My DS was teething badly, I went into boots and asked where the Anusol was and how to apply it. ANBESOL is what I needed for DS 😭

Also baked biscuits and used a plastic tray. I’ve no idea what possessed me, I knew it was plastic! It melted all over the oven.

Used the shower curtain rail to see if I could swing. It came crashing down with me. I was an adult (and slightly concussed!)

Put clove oil directly on my gum as thought it’d work quicker. Never touched the stuff again!

Made a brew a few weeks ago and rather than take the tea bag out the cup and put it in the bin, I threw the entire freshly made brew in the bin.

Ah, this resonates with me. My DS was 11 at the time and had arrived back from year 6 camp with suspected scabies (I know, hideous right?). Our GP had prescribed us large tubes of ointment to slather all over the poor little sod every night. Couple (ahem) of drinks with my sister next evening, DS needs the cream on, i picked it out the medicine cabinet, started slathering it in him, DS said it’s not the right cream, i state I know best......turns out it was Anusol! I still mention it now he’s an adult, because he can be a big asshole still!

When I was about 16 I went out with my friends and the boy I was seeing to a teen dance club. He got up on a wooden dance podium but it collapsed and he got taken to hospital with injuries.
One of the bouncers came over to ask me if I was okay as I was a bit shaken up as it partially collapsed on me too and said he needed to take an incident report. We went to an office where I told him what happened and he gave me a glass of water. After he took the report we went to leave the office and I really don’t know why but I decided to grab his hand and hold it and I didn’t let go. For about half an hour he walked round the disco continuing his duties with me holding his hand like a child.

Dh and I decided to take his younger brother toChester Zoo on the train from Sheffield about 35 years ago. Running late, jumped on the train farthest up the platform (one of those ones where part of the platform is Platform one and the other 2) all good, except the stations were all wrong, instead of the Chester train it was going to Edinburgh(or somewhere else distant). Express. We got off miles away and had to get lots of random connections.

Like some PPs I have burnt my hand by grabbing the handle of my ‘hob-to-oven’ pan after it has been in the oven numerous times.

I’ve learnt now and always wrap a tea towel round the handle after I remove it from the oven to stop me making the same mistake again. That’s my health and safety for idiots tip of the day.

This thread has brightened up my day.

Years ago spotted my crush in the club, we were on flirty terms so in my haste to make a beeline to him, I completely misjudged the steps down to where he was standing and landed sprawled at his feet.
I don’t remember him at all really but I still cringe at his ‘I’ll give you 1 out of 10 for that entrance’

We had a beautiful old chair which dh had recently glued as it had become wobbly. The glue had run down the frame of the backrest so I picked it all off. Later I went to use the chair to place a bowl on top of a cupboard. Dh said ‘don’t stand on that, it’s not safe’. I did. Chair snapped in half. I went straight down onto a stone floor. A and E said it was the worst broken ankle they had ever seen. Still hurts three years later and I limp now.

@thesoundofthepolice

I've done some pretty stupid things in my time however this one takes the biscuit.... I'd fallen while walking with my hands in my pockets and face planted the pavement resulting in a pretty messed up face. The next day it looked even worse and was really painful all round my jaw and eye NHS24 recommended getting checked out. Duly went to the hospital and walking into the waiting room tripped over my own 2 feet and landed on my face again....because my hands were in my pockets! Thankfully there were no breaks...I just looked like a monster for a while. I'd like to say I've learned my lesson but I still walk with my hands in my pockets.

I’m constantly telling my husband to take his hands out of his pockets for this exact reason!

Renovating our house, DH left me demolishing a hideous brick chimney surround. For some reason I started from the bottom- and obviously a pile of bricks fell on my hand from height. I sat and sobbed in the rubble. Was very badly bruised but so lucky not to break anything!