Absolutely Ridiculous Things in Books

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

I’m reading (it’s painful and I will use it for kindling when I’m finished) Just My Luck by Adele Parks. I actually used to enjoy her books back in the day for a bit of mindless escapism and the characters were well-written but they’ve slid into lunacy over the last few years. Think twins pretending to be the same person and getting married to one guy (or something like that) and a mum’s glamorous 45 year old mate shagging her 17 year old son and getting pregnant while they all live under the same roof.

The latest one they win the lottery and calamity ensues in the most implausible ways possible.

The daughter in this one is musing over the fact that her boyfriend has turned into a bit of cad and she’s moping about, and musing over missing ‘the musty smell of his balls’

THE MUSTY SMELL OF HIS BALLS.

The character in question is FIFTEEN. She was ONLY FIFTEEN YEARS OLD (in the voice of Micheal Caine)

Please add, there must be loads, and we can have a laugh on this horrible wet January afternoon.

*when men describe a woman’s breast size

Ha ha love that @MissingLinker

Are you sure you're not a published author ?

@LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag

I used to enjoy a Maeve Binchy as a bit of brainless reading but I stopped when I read one in which a character was raped by her ex-husband but it was written as an act of love.

Which book was that?

@Coopz

I'm not defending The Break, but didn't it come out later in the book that the wife had actually been having an affair the year before the husband decided to go to Thailand to shag other women find himself?

I can't really remember it very well (and there's no excuse for either of their behaviour).

No - she had a bit of a crush on someone but no affair, as I remember it. The affair happened after he had gone off to shag other women.

@SomewhatBored you could try Jane Casey? More character, less police procedure?

Not only has the Duchess or York written a M&B, she is apparently going to approach Shonda Rhimes about producing it for TV!

MustardMitt -The author made a point about mentioning the chains on the tyres confused. I have no idea if these are ever used (although google tells me they are sold in Halfords) ...

Apparently, yes, sometimes in the Highlands of Scotland. Was the hunt ball in the Highlands?

I struggle to find non-shit books. I am a ridiculously fast reader - a curse, not a blessing, and I rely on charity shops (when open) and 99p bargains. I read through all the free out of copyright classics within a year of getting my first Kindle.

That is quite possibly the most preposterous post I have ever read on MN, and that is saying something.

bookworm14

I don't still have my copy - I didn't keep it after reading it, so I might well have misremembered her hair colour. However, in the book I'm thinking of, there was definitely stuff about her being thin and colt-like, and people in rural Devon patronisingly assuring her she'd fill out one day, then as soon as she got to London everyone wanted to shag her.

@notafanoftheman

I struggle to find non-shit books. I am a ridiculously fast reader - a curse, not a blessing, and I rely on charity shops (when open) and 99p bargains. I read through all the free out of copyright classics within a year of getting my first Kindle.

That is quite possibly the most preposterous post I have ever read on MN, and that is saying something.

Sorry, as I subsequently explained, I meant those I hadn't already read and wanted to read. I was quite old by the time I first got a Kindle!

@Coopz

I'm not defending The Break, but didn't it come out later in the book that the wife had actually been having an affair the year before the husband decided to go to Thailand to shag other women find himself?

I can't really remember it very well (and there's no excuse for either of their behaviour).

No, they'd flirted mildly and she considered going back to his hotel room but didn't. She only started shagging him once her husband pissed off on his global shagathon

No - she had a bit of a crush on someone but no affair, as I remember it. The affair happened after he had gone off to shag other women

Ah, right, thanks. I couldn't remember the timelines.

@Coopz

I suppose the tell tale thing about MK's books is that I haven't wanted to reread any of her later books, but I can still go back and read some of the early ones, like Rachel's Holiday (but definitely not Watermelon). She's getting back to her previous standards but she's not quite there yet.

And she'd better not break Rachel and Luke up just so she can shoehorn in whatever her pet 'issue' of the moment is.

Yes I agree Rachel's Holiday is fabulous

Tyre chains are definitely a thing for driving in the snow.

I always liked Sophie Kinsella for a bit of escapism, and my motto is "don't overthink the plot". But I've just read Weddng Night and thtt ey is a scene where two people in suits go into a steam room for a chat. It was so strange

Rachel’s holiday is about depression, isn’t it? I think it was groundbreaking (in a minor way, if that’s possible ) at the time

What was Watermelon about again?

I used to like “sushi for beginners“ too. Imagine sushi being an exciting and novel thing... fuck me ...how time flies

Sorry, as I subsequently explained, I meant those I hadn't already read and wanted to read

Maybe you should consider branching out into classics you didn’t want to read then. Some of them might even be quite good.

@pippitysqueakity according to Google it's Tara Road. It's a throw away line towards the end of the book where the woman and her ex-husband are sharing a bed on holiday and after she falls asleep "he shows her he loves her in the only way he knows"

@Biscuitsanddoombar

This thread is brilliant 😆

I used to really enjoy the Elizabeth george inspector Lynley series until careless in red and beyond where I can only assume she handed the books over to a student creative writing class to carry on

DC nkata who is black starts to be referred to frequently as “the black” I mean wtaf? Her ideas about working class british ppl do/eat/behave are mond bogglingly awful & tje writing is so bad it’s genuinely hard to believe it’s the same person writing the last books as it was the first few

Yes!! I reread the early ones frequently but stop at ‘What Came Before He Shot Her’.

Didn’t even get through ‘One Evil Act’ but I’ll probably try again, hate not finishing books.

I don't get the love for Rachel's Holiday - sorry. It was ok, but I just did not click with the narrator at all.

@MrsBennettsSecretSon

Rachel’s holiday is about depression, isn’t it? I think it was groundbreaking (in a minor way, if that’s possible ) at the time

What was Watermelon about again?

I used to like “sushi for beginners“ too. Imagine sushi being an exciting and novel thing... fuck me ...how time flies

Rachels Holiday is about substance addiction. The Holiday is actually rehab. I think this book has stood the test of time. I hated The Break though

@notafanoftheman

Sorry, as I subsequently explained, I meant those I hadn't already read and wanted to read

Maybe you should consider branching out into classics you didn’t want to read then. Some of them might even be quite good.

Just because something is a classic and has great literary merit and influence, it doesn't mean everyone will find it enjoyable. As with bestsellers, they might be enjoyed by millions, but not be to your personal taste. That's because enjoyment of literature, and other arts, is subjective. Have you enjoyed every literary classic you've ever read?

Tara road stressed me out, the heroine just accepts being treated awfully by her nasty teenage daughter, her nasty ex, and the OW (and OWs mum I think )

Then becomes “successful” baking cookies

The thing that drives me insane about the Shopaholic series is that she NEVER FUCKING LEARNS. And has to be rescued by her husband again.

@singsingbluesilver

I don't get the love for Rachel's Holiday - sorry. It was ok, but I just did not click with the narrator at all.

The thing that stands out for me in something that is presented as forgettable chick lit it is a genuinely remarkable use of an unreliable first-person narrator. We take Rachel at her own estimation for a good chunk of the novel -- we think she's just a party girl who drinks a bit too much and goes in for a spot of recreational drugs in a lovably scatty, Bridget Jones way, and that her family are completely failing to grasp the situation, and totally overreacting by putting her in rehab.

Until the rug gets pulled out from under us in narrative terms.