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Original poster

My husband received something very strange in the post ...

999 replies

OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 11:05

In the post today, my husband received a letter. It was hand written with his name and address on the outside. No return info. The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

Inside is a copy of an "essay" I googled it and it's by Robert Louise Stevenson. It called "on Marriage"

The gist of it is that marriage has lots of ups and downs and requires communication

There is nothing else. No name, just a folded print out of this essay.

Any explanation, other than my fear? I have no reason other than this to suspect anything.

YABU - don't jump to conclusions

YANBU - he's cheated.

I'm shaking. This feels so surreal. I hope I'm overreacting. He's currently at work.

Ps. We open each other's post. We think nothing of it - usually. It's always junk or bills

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
ChippyChickenChips · 12/01/2021 12:16

rejoice in your ability to have a "gotcha" moment

I really don't think people are having a gotcha moment. Over my career I've received thousands of handwritten notes and letters from colleagues and clients. You really, really can't tell.

MedusasBadHairDay · 12/01/2021 12:17

OP Do any of those paragraphs specifically talk about marriage? I don't know a lot about Louis Stevenson so did some giggling, seems the On Marriage essay is a part of a whole load of personal essays, and that bit you've quoted doesn't seem to be about marriage at all? It does seem to fit with the kind of stuff JV have been sending, seen people saying they've largely received letters about hope etc.

I think if it was someone trying to tell you that your DH was cheating they wouldn't send you an essay essentially telling you to have hope.

MrsT777 · 12/01/2021 12:17

@thedancingbear

The writing in the envelope is definitely a woman's

For fuck's sake.

Was it a woman's envelope too? Was the pen female?

Is there any need for that? There is no need for you to be rude.
Northernparent68 · 12/01/2021 12:17

It could be a prank, someone making trouble, please do n’t worry or jump to conclusions

Boomboombroom · 12/01/2021 12:19

Wait…
You said it was hand written, now a photocopy of a book…Confused

Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 12:19

Also I've calmed down loads. I'll be mentioning it nonchalantly. I'm sure there's an explanation

OP posts:
Original poster
OnSilverStars · 12/01/2021 12:20

@Boomboombroom

Wait… You said it was hand written, now a photocopy of a book…Confused
The envelope was handwritten
OP posts:
Jobsharenightmare · 12/01/2021 12:20

It won't be from JWs (my mum is one so I know their MO!). If it was from them it would more likely be quotes from scripture or one of their own numerous publications - they wouldn't use "worldly" source material.

Also, as others have said, they would want you to contact them to "learn more" so there would be details of your local Kingdom Hall included.

^ yep I think this means you can exclude a religious motive.

Which leaves a jilted lover or an enemy of some kind.

SlopesOff · 12/01/2021 12:21

@user686833

How would JW have his name?
Electoral Register Google Phone book (landlines) Mailing list
Marmite27 · 12/01/2021 12:22

Every one always thinks my DH’s handwriting is girly. It’s very swirling.

You can’t possibly know it’s from a woman. Calm down and ask your husband.

Boomboombroom · 12/01/2021 12:22

@OnSilverStars
Fair enough

LannieDuck · 12/01/2021 12:22

Late to the party on men/women's handwriting, but when I started college, our tutor got everyone to write a paragraph about themselves as an ice-breaker (basic stuff - pets, siblings etc), muddled them up and got us each to read-out one and guess the sex of the person who wrote it.

Every single person in the class of ~30 guessed the sexes correctly, except me. Not sure what that says about me!

DancingInTheGarden · 12/01/2021 12:23

Good plan. Just laugh and say "You had weird post today" and shove it at him.
It doesn't look to me like any thing at all to do with infidelity.
Looks like he was having a talk with someone and this came to mind and they sent it.
Odd they didn't write anything on the back. But people are odd as we find out.

dinosaursroar1 · 12/01/2021 12:23

JW’s are definitely doing the rounds with posting weird letters. We’ve just had one delivered with the post this morning - handwriting on the envelope is stereotypically “women’s handwriting” and inside is a printed letter saying how they’ll pray for us in our time of need etc etc, although does say it’s come from JW’s. We also live in Yorkshire. And I’ve seen on local Facebook groups over the past week or so people posting about receiving odd things sent via JW’s.

mumwon · 12/01/2021 12:23

A lot of people have too much time on their hands & unfortunately some people are trying to cause harm. I wonder if this letter is actually from an anonymous twisted source -its far to esoteric for a normal way of informing someone. Remember op this letter was directed to your husband -how could the sender be sure you would open it? What if your husband opened it - & wondered if the author was making a comment about you? & seriously op if you are saying the writing was female rather than male? People learn their writing style/skill from school (disclaimer mine is a spidery mess & dh is similar I would defy anybody to say what sex/gender we are from our writing!)
Poison pen letter - like an Agatha Christie story?

Clawdy · 12/01/2021 12:23

The content of the letter was very strange. Didn't sound in any way to me as if it was from some lover. Bizarre.

gannett · 12/01/2021 12:24

Why on earth would an OW send this to her affair partner with no other message at all?

If your husband was having an affair why would he be happy with the opening-each-other's-post free-for-all thing you've got going on?

I would probably assume that my partner had wanted a copy of the text for some reason (something he remembers reading once? a book he used to have? an interest in 19th century literature?) and asked someone he knew owned it to send a copy over.

Happyone8 · 12/01/2021 12:25

I had a look op and that particular book is indeed about hanging onto marriage - ‘It is cowardly to retreat from marriage, even with all its obstacles’ So unlikely from ow.
I mean it could be someone who knows something might happen sending him something to be strong and resist , but it’s a bit random . From what you showed , I wouldn’t have a clue and would probably bin it as junk if I were him , unless he’s into this man’s writing and would get the gist of it.
I would definitely see his reaction and do some digging around anyway just in case x

WiseOwlRelaxing · 12/01/2021 12:25

I can usually tell the sex of somebody from their handwriting. not always, but so many posts demanding to know how she can tell Hmm

When they bring in handwriting experts solving crimes, they can always tell so it's not like it's not possible.

wildraisins · 12/01/2021 12:25

@Firstbornunicorn

That is weird. I can’t even think why someone he was cheating with would send it.
Maybe because they want him to be open with his wife about what is going on?

OP, I would be really suspicious if I were you, too.

From the perspective of "the other woman" who is being kept secret, they often want the man to be honest about the affair in the hope that he will ultimately leave his wife and be with them.

Sending a letter like this could indicate that they've been having arguments about secrecy, she is feeling angry/ annoyed at him and is pushing the boundaries of keeping the affair secret as a warning or even ultimatum of some kind.

Sending an essay about communication in marraige is obviously implying that he is not displaying good communication in his marriage because he's not being honest with you.

That would be my interpretation, anyway. If it were from anyone else then surely they would have signed it off with their name. OW obviously would want to keep her identity secret but he would know it was from her.

I might be being overly-suspcious but I really can't think of any other explanation. I would pull him up on it if I were you and ask him what it's all about.

CrotchBurn · 12/01/2021 12:26

Why the fuck are people wanking on about their personal experiences of handwriting? Nobody cares and thats not the issue here

WiseOwlRelaxing · 12/01/2021 12:26

Maybe it's from somebody he was moaning to in a self-pitying way.

thosetalesofunexpected · 12/01/2021 12:26

Hi Op
You can tell by studying someone's handwriting not only someone's gender, but also give away clues about someone personality traits at that time,stage of their life.

I have a booklet about this kind of thing
I have forgetton the name of what the study of handwriting styles called I think it might be called Graphology,? Is that right? i am not sure through
quite interesting subject

I didn't know you can pick up someone ethniticity just looking at type of handwriting unless its blantly obvious..

WiseOwlRelaxing · 12/01/2021 12:27

@LochJessMonster

Occam’s Razor - the simplest explanation is the most likely to be correct.

If he’s not actually cheated, he’s confided in someone about your marriage (and not in a positive way)

yes, this is it.
BuntysTwinkle · 12/01/2021 12:27

I would say it's not a friend of his because they would have his email to send something like this.

Let him get in from work, then once he's got his drink or whatever, show him the letter. "This was addressed to you, what do you think it's about?" and look closely at his first reaction. If it's panic, or if he gets defensive, you may have a problem. If it's innocent he'll probably be as baffled as you.

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