Excruciatingly awkward misunderstandings

[kpnutts]

So It’s late at night when your brain reminds you of those awkward moments from your past...

Back at my first year at university it was a girl in my halls birthday and she was having a gathering of about 30ish people in one of the communal kitchens and I knew say about 5 of them. I arrived and had a few drinks, the music is playing loud and at some point noticed a girl on her own in the corner who happened to wearing a jacket I also owned.

So to make conversation I said something along the lines of “nice jacket, I have the same one”. I realise now she must have completely misheard me and she gave me a very odd look and said “err yes it’s mine”. A bit confused by the response I said “oh I just meant I have the same one, it’s from Zara right?”. Backing away slightly she laughed nervously and replied “haha no no it’s definitely mine, I don’t know Zara”. It’s pretty awkward now so I try to explain I meant Zara ‘the shop’, it doesn’t matter, let’s talk about something else, but she’s only getting more confused.

Suddenly her tone changes, she smiles at me sweetly and slowly says “ohhh I don’t know ‘Zara de-shop’ she must be your friend, is she looking after you tonight?”. In my awkward 18 year old way of trying not to embarrass her and the ridiculousness of the situation I stupidly grin as I think of a way to extract myself from the conversation. She takes this as a yes and continues “Isn’t it great you have such inclusive friends, are you living here by yourself?”. Arghh, feeling too far down the line to correct her and fearing someone I know may overhear, I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and scuttle back to my room. None of my hall friends ever mentioned it and I never saw the girl again!

It plays over in my mind every now and again how a simple mishearing resulted in someone thinking I had a learning disability and talking to me like a child! She was (admittedly inadvertently) incredibly patronising even so, although I’m sure her intentions were good.

I do wonder if at some point in the next few years she walked past Zara and the penny dropped! I do giggle at the thought of her in a shopping centre having a complete Oh. My. God. moment.

Tell me mumsnet, have you ever had similar awkward miss understanding, or maybe you had a weird conversation about Zara many years ago.

[cultkid]

Right so I have a really awkward moment and it's so identifying but here goes

I had an Audi that kept breaking. It would not stop having faults. It was under three so Audi roadside had an agreement with a car rental company to send out another Audi that day whilst mine was in the garage.
I went to pick up the rental car but my husband was away. For the first time EVER the night before the car broke I text him a photo of my front bottom
The next day when the car broke he text me a photo of his driving license so I could have them add him onto the rental car insurance.
You guessed it...
Three boys behind the counter doing the paper work tried to zoom in to read his details on his driving license but accidentally swiped sideways and then saw a photo of me touching myself sort of in what I thought was a sexy way 😆😆😆
they went all funny and laughed and red etc but I didn't know why. I got in the rental car ready to connect up to blue tooth and when I unlocked my phone the photo of my front bottom came up.

Just wanted the floor to eat me. When it came to returning the car I just left the key inside the wheel arch 😬😬😬

[Igotta]

@feelthethunder don't give it a second thought.

I've learnt what a kettle lead is and won't be judging your 16 year old sister back in 2006.

I was a twat when I was a teenager

[hazandduck]

@Whichoneofyoudidthat Chatting with a group of mums.

Me, to the mum standing next to me and gesturing to the group of kids: “which one is yours?”

Her, gesturing to another woman a few feet away: “That’s my mum. I’m 14.”

I had kind of the opposite of this, a few years ago, aged 27 waiting for my riding lesson with the adult group, watching the class before finish up a mum came over and said “Are you in the next group too? Don’t be nervous you’ll be fine, my daughter has been coming for a while.” In the next sand school there was a children’s class about to start 😂 she couldn’t believe I was 27, I wasn’t wearing make up so maybe that had something to do with it? Another girl at the same stables asked if I was in pony club too 😂 I’ve had kids since and don’t think the same mistake would ever be made again!

[hazandduck]

Awkward mistakes - I once (to her face) asked if someone’s girlfriend was their mum!! Urgh I am blushing at the memory.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

I think the reason that I can’t think of any examples of doing this myself is that it happens so often that it’s just normal to me.

I’m just one of those people who in any given social situation will be able to say exactly the wrong thing at some point. Guaranteed.

[Lightofthephoenix]

I have another

Eating dinner out with DH, got chatting to a couple of the next table, who apologise for asking but then ask how much older I am then DH........I'm not!
Bottle of wine was swiftly bought and put on my table as an apology.


Also at a wedding reception, someone assumed DH was actually my oldest son.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

@cultkid ooh, you win

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

DONKEY JOKE: (not mine - copied and adapted from the original post on here)
I worked with a man who stammered. He told me a joke.
A man went up to the bar "Can I have a pint of lager for me and a pint of bitter for my friend Donkey.". After a few rounds, his mate Donkey goes up to the bar " Can I have a pint of bitter and a pint of lager for my friend?" The barman says "Do you know he calls you Donkey"
"Yes" replies Donkey "ee-aw, ee-aw, 'e always calls me that"

[FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18]

So is the doney joke ABOUT someone stammering? And the person telling it also stammered, hence the confusion? I think I get it now!

[Bakedpotatoandgin]

In the donkey joke, the person nicknamed "donkey" doesn't have a stammer, he's making the joke going ee aw and pretending to be a donkey, as "'ee always calls me that". PP worked with someone with a stammer, so she assumed Donkey was also stammering, and didn't understand he was making a joke. I think that's right anyway

[RiftGibbon]

More a case of getting myself out of an embarrassing situation by the skin of my teeth.
I worked with a team who processed documents. The documents were filled in by another department - usually the most junior person in the dept.- and then were reviewed and processes by us.
The junior at the time was a rathe cocky, flirty young guy, who I will call Sam.
He'd phoned us three times to ask stupid questions about the documents (his supervisor should have been checking, and we'd already been through this several times in the week). So I was having a bit of a moan to a colleague about him. I had got as far as, "...and well, Sam's full of it."
I hadn't noticed that he had decided to come to my desk with the form, and approached from the side...
"What am I full of, Rift?"
I clutched at straws. "Charm! You're always so polite when you ring us up. Not like some of the people in (different department)".
He went away preening. I went away to try to get my foot out of my mouth.

[ItsSpittingEverybodyIn]

@cultkid that is the worst! Haha!

[Hushabusha]

As a bridesmaid after the wedding was over I thanked the groom's father for giving us a lift to the reception. He looked at me oddly. It had been his brother who drove us. Do they look alike or am I just bad with faces? I have no idea

[ButDoUAvocado]

One Mother’s Day morning I was out walking my dogs. Saw my friend’s DH and he called out “Happy Mother’s Day!”
I replied, “You too!”

His face was like

[therewillbelies]

@cultkid you win!

[Toomuchtooyoung01]

Many years ago me and my friends would compete to buy each other silly presents on our birthdays, mostly from Ann Summers etc
Anyway one year I met a friend for lunch and she had got me these handcuff type things that you attach to a door and hang off during sex. Very funny, thanks for that, I put them in the boot of my car and completely forgot they were there.......until the day my dad asked to borrow my car to take some garden waste to the dump as his was at the garage. The horror I felt 5mins later when I realised my dad must have discovered it. I wanted to explain it was meant to be a joke etc but was too embarrassed and instead cringed that my dad now thinks I drive around with random bits of bondage equipment in the car in case
I fancy a quick sesh somewhere

[Namechangerextraordinaire1]

@Toomuchtooyoung01 that's hilarious

[itsnotjustmethen]

I went to a restaurant with some work colleagues when I was about 19 or 20 and had a few drinks so was abit wobbly, as o crossed the road i saw my bus coming so ran, cue me falling arse over tit right where the bus had pulled up, I jumped up and got on the bus, everyone on the half full bus was staring at me but I couldnt look up, could feel my face red with embarrassment, and when I got home I realised I had a graze all down my face, also fell asleep quickly and threw up and had a cracking bruise on my forehead for about 2 weeks, so awkward explaining graze and bruise to work (in a childrens nursery) on monday and looking back I probably had concussion.

[GreatDryingOut]

I was invited to two parties in the one night, and explained to both hosts that I would go early to one and late to the other - perfectly acceptable to both.

Arrived at Party One bang on 8pm, greeted at the door by host James. A uni pal, someone not super close, this was his engagement party, and we were the first to arrive. I’d met his fiancée Emma once before and I greeted her with a warm hug, told her how fab she looked in her little black dress, gave her my coat to hang up, and gladly accepted her offer to mix me up a cocktail. With nobody else there, I insisted she sit with me, cosied up to her, admired the decor, and exchanged pleasantries.

Then a bedroom door opened and the real Emma walked out. It was at that moment I remembered Emma was a tall cool brunette, and not the fizzy fun blonde girl I’d just spent twenty minutes with .., she was the bar girl hired for the night, who had gamely been playing along to put me at my ease.

I am not great at remembering faces 😵. It was an excruciating twenty minutes before the next guests arrived, and we sat there as an awkward ménage a cinq as I squawked on to cover everyone’s embarrassment 😩

[MuseumOfYou]

I got married for the first time when I was quite young and had been a bit of a late starter with the boys. My DH was similarly inexperienced on the romantic front...this was more than 30 years ago...anyway, things weren't exactly on fire in the bedroom, and there was no internet, so I bought myself a VHS video of the Joy of Sex just to check we weren't missing anything obvious. Anyway, watched it once, didn't learn much, put it in the back of the cupboard and never thought about it again.

Fifteen years, several house moves and children later, my neighbour was babysitting as we were out for the day. My DD was about 10, same age as hers. My neighbour was lovely but an extremely protective mother.

When we got back, turns out that the girls had been suspiciously quiet and on checking the bedroom, they were in the middle of the Joy of Sex video.

My DD had somehow found it in box at the back of the garage and helpfully explained 'that mum and dad watch it all the time.'

[EmbarrassedWoman]

I went to my bestfriends daughters christening.
On the way in we where greeted by members of their congregation.
The lovely man shook my hand and said " hello you are very welcome here"
I replied "thank you so much. You too"
There was an awkward pause.
I then said "of course your welcome here. Im sure your here often ."
What the heck😂😂 i should have stopped at you too.

[YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet]

The only rightful home for this collection of arse-clenching awkwardness is Classics - thanks to those who nominated.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Yay! Thanks YetAnotherBecky!

[OnlyJoking1]

Our long term postman was ringing the doorbell every day to hand me the mail.
I thought it a bit odd, wondered why I was getting this level of personal delivery.
I assumed he enjoyed seeing me each morning.

After a few weeks of this I discovered that my son had actually stuck the letterbox down from the inside with Matt sellotape.
Once I’d removed the tape the personal delivery Eventually stopped.