My child has a badge that sees ghosts?

[PlomBear]

Lighthearted!

DS 4, has a badge he calls “birdie friend.” I may post a photo later! It’s a badge with a bird on.

Birdie Friend seems to have the gift of the “sight!” “Birdie Friend says Bob and Rose are here mummy, they like to have tea with us. Bob and Rose are DH’s grandparents who died many years ago.

“Birdie Friend says the men who lived upstairs looked like you mummy when their faces burned off.” We used to live in a former military hospital and I had a sheet mash on my face! The ward upstairs had indeed been a burns/plastics ward!

“Mummy, Birdie Friend says the end is coming soon.”

😂😱😨

Scatterlit My postman had a hip replacement that MUMBLES when there is a vampire nearby, will that do?

Cost's him a fortune in garlic, silver bullets and wooden stakes.

Explains why he doesn't get here until nearly three some days though.

What is the hag? 🤔

This is BirdieFriend speaking. Do not worry, I took care of OP and DS, they won’t be causing any more trouble...

I don't know why folk can't just let a story play out - fictional or otherwise, without having this burning desire to leave sardonic put-downs. I was enjoying the thread!

If the OP has gone to the trouble of making up this entire thing, surely she shouldn’t be scared off by a few people crying ‘fake’?

I agree, if the OP really needs particularly gullible Mumsnetters to play along with 'Ooh's and 'Aaah's of vicarious fright and join in with stories about the time they thought their sleep paralysis was a visit from a malevolent spirit, then it's a bit pathetic.

I mean, I could think of several directions the plot could have gone in -- after a bit where the OP returns and sighs and calms things down, and says everyone's right, it must just be an imaginative child acting out, she then burns Birdie Friend and as it sizzles on the fire, it sends out a human scream.

Or shortly after the chaplain blesses Birdie Friend, the four year old wakes up in the middle of the night and says 'Birdie Friend is angry about the holy water' and it turns out in the morning that the chaplain has been killed in a freak car crash, with no other vehicles involved.

Or faceless burnt soldiers appear at night in the garden, looking silently towards the house, and every night the OP sees them, they're slightly nearer. And when she glances up from the kitchen window, she sees that the four year old has opened his bedroom window and is beckoning them in and laughing...

I mean, dropping out of things that soon isn't very committed, is it?

@sleeveen those ideas are great. I love the soldier one. I think you could just take over from the op now and tell the rest of the story. Maybe birdie friend was found by your child on a school trip to a military base. Your child wandered into an area where they shouldn’t be until they got shouted back and the teacher told you on their return to school that your child very nearly walked in on a suspected crime scene, luckily they were caught just in time. However they found a badge on the floor which they refused to hand in. And so birdie friend begins again...

I for one am glad of the pooh-poohers (When I'm not usually!). Talk of 'The End Times' always scares/worries me, so having more rational people about who have found holes in the story is reassuring.

BirdieFriend here - perhaps this coronavirus heralds the End Times?

Just waiting for the False Prophet to be revealed.

Lots of love, BF xx

I, for one, hail our new overlord Birdie Friend...

I expressed skepticism but only due to fear. It was wrong, I’ll admit it. I thought BF might be like Tinker Bell and need people to believe in him in order to be real.

@Sleeveen @BirdieFriendReturns Would MNHQ allow it if one of you carried on the thread (lighthearted of course!!) as I was really enjoying it. There's only space for 264 comments left and I feel I need an ending!!

This thread needs to go into classics

@Sleeveen fabulous. Tell us of BF

Oh god no.
Was amusing to start with but some random person taking over the thread wouldn’t be funny, it would be a bit sad .
Come back ,op.
All is forgiven

It would be funny if one of them could make up an outlandish ending and then put the thread to bed. I still love the thought of the postman with the artificial hip who could sense vampires. I wouldn't be sad, as the OP isn't coming back and has left us with a mental image of what the fuck has the birdie friend done to them!! What about: Birdie Friend's mother, in a human life, was a cleaner who stole half a bottle of pink gin, sobered up and realising that she needed more, went to Waitrose to beg for some money to get some more booze. She then got blocked in the disabled only parking bay because she displayed the BF badge and not her disabled parking permit and then just gave up and went to bed. THE END. I'm happy now - I have closure!!

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
I am Birdie Friend
We do what we must
Because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
When there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE
Still alive.

@FizzyIce

I agree FizzyIce. Anyway, BF could easily take over the OP’s account and write the ending. It’s not like he couldn’t.

Maybe Birdie Friend was worried about being outed do possessed or coerced the OP into writing the outlandish unbelievable posts about nursery. Now everybody questions the validity of OP and Birdie Friend is free to continue with his destruction and bringing about the end of times.

I could be wrong but I didn’t think Birdie was causing the messy to come or the people to die soon. I just thought he was able to see these things coming and was naively honest in the way children can be.

Like the little kid that tells your MIL “my mom doesn’t like it when you come over, Grandma”

@SuzieSunshine sorry I didn’t mean sad in that sense

@birdiefriendreturns

What an ear worm!!

’This thread needs to go into classics’

Birdie Friend says no.

OP could totally come back because we know most people won't RTFT anyways so won't know she'd been rumbled

Come back OP, please ?

We had the chaplain bless BF and the house and things seem to have calmed down a bit.

DA still talks to BF. I hope that the coronavirus isn’t the start of the End Times!