To think you can't get past 'the ick' im a relationship?

[Thickums]

LIGHT HEARTED Interested in other posters thoughts on 'the ick'.

For those who don't know, the 'ick' is when someone you are dating just starts to irritate you for no apparent reason.
I dont mean normal annoyances, i mean they start to make your skin crawl and their mannerisms just go through you like a knife.
It can just creep up on you without any warning and they can even tick every box and otherwise be a 10/10 partner but unfortunately even them breathing irritates the life out of you. You try to fight it, but ultimately the irritation can turn to anger and make even the best of people become snappy with rage due to 'the ick'.

Ive experienced this once. Lovely bloke, not a bad bone in his body. After about 2 years for some reason still unknown to me i suddenly got 'the ick'. Watching him eat a pot noodle would make my blood boil.. Literally give me the rage. Everything he did irritated the life out of me.
As he was so lovely i tried my hardest to make things work. Until one day i confessed to a friend who told me about 'the ick' and how once it happens it can never be undone. They will irritate you forever. No one knows the cause of the ick.. But its incurable. So i ended it. Felt nothing but relief.

So am i unreasonable to think 'the ick' is a real thing and once it happens the relationship is doomed?

Has anyone else experienced this? What is the reason behind 'the ick'? Why does it usually seem to happen with people who tick all the boxes?

I can't lie, i sometimes read posts on the relationship boards where the OP will say their partner has suddenly said they want out. Whilst everyone else is shouting 'OW' i think to myself maybe they've just got 'the ick?'

I reckon it's definitely hormonal. Trust me, after menopause, when your younger female friends are perving over the latest new stag, your own ick response is pretty much instantaneous. It knda goes into overdrive and any fluttery feelings last mere minutes .

Oh god one of the ones I mentioned before.

Used the word willy. About his dick. Not in a joking way. In bed.

Willy.

I suddenly got VERY BAD STOMACH PAINS and sadly had to immediately leave the scene of the willy.

I just icked myself thinking about it.

And since everyone else is sharing, the last-straw incident for me with this guy was as follows: he had a nosebleed and decided to stuff a tissue into each nostril. Then he proceeded to do what he must have thought was an alluring dance, and genuinely tried to initiate sex afterwards.

I was done.

It's funny in a way, because there are things in any long-term relationship that could give you the ick in any other circumstances, but for some reason it doesn't trigger that same response. That's how you know they're the one, I think!

Oh @Hmpher!!
You have caused a collective shudder.

So many gems on here. The cardigan/shepherds pie was a beauty (but only because I have the luxury of not having experienced it first hand!)

Another was a messy "cummer" - BLEUGHHH!

What - dare I ask - is that?! 😬

@ElizabethMountbatten

You have just triggered a suppressed memory of my ex who used to get those white secretions, but he did this weird and boaky thing where he'd wipe each side with his finger and then pop his finger into his mouth and suck it!!! I am dry heaving typing this

Just popping over from page 2 to say @Chuffit - I burst out laughing at your post, so funny. Well done

I had a boyfriend who had been a friend for years. Huge chemistry... and we ended up dating, almost immediately got the ick factor and it was so terrible. Awful.

I think it's still hormones. End the end attraction is about a biological imperative to have babies.

At some deep level your body knows this is the wrong person. Even if it appears to be about the Pot Noodle.

@AllideasAndNoAction it's more than going off someone, it's visceral!

I dated a really nice guy (common theme) for a while who seemed great on paper: doctor going into a lucrative field, family oriented, attentive, kind.

He went to San Francisco once for a work conference or something, and when he returned he gave me a little toy streetcar. I felt instant confusion and revulsion, but still carried on because after all it was a thoughtful gesture.

Another time, he decided to cook me filet mignon with a sauce. He slavishly followed the recipe, right down to literally timing how long it seared on each side. It made me so angry.

I think he thought we were going to hook up that night, but I fled. I met someone else shortly after this, and the next time he called me I told him that I "didn't think I was available" for a relationship. I could hear him crying a bit. It was horrible and I felt like a complete jerk.

I have read this whole thread and am literally HOWLING laughing at some of the examples - this is such a brilliant conversation!

😂😂😂😂😂

The ‘ick’ is definitely a thing, and I’m so glad there is now a word for it.

I was dating this guy and we went out for a walk. It was freezing, and he said “Oooh, it’s a bit nippy-noo-nah-nay isn’t it?” Game over.

Thanks OP, you’ve made my night! 😁 x

Yes I've experienced it.

I definitely got to the point once where the sound of my ex's breathing annoyed me, then one night as he was sleeping i just looked at him and thought "nope, absolutely not, thats it"

And it was

I've had it twice with DP, but I'm a gobby cow, told him immediately that he'd made me do a brain vomit and that was that.
The first time was seeing him undress, only to reveal he was wearing white socks. My eyes still itch about that.
The second time was when he said 'What's up babe?' I don't think I have ever loaded a word with such scathering tones as when I replied 'BABE?'
White socks & babe have never reappeared. And I still fancy the arse off him now.

Yep completely get it ! I was dating this guy and I was really attracted to him until we ate together once and he had a little piece of salad stuck on his teeth - I couldn’t stay with him after that (I was 14 !)

“Another time, he decided to cook me filet mignon with a sauce. He slavishly followed the recipe, right down to literally timing how long it seared on each side. It made me so angry.”

This made me laugh so much! I totally get it.

The man who used message me when cooking to say ‘the muse’ was upon him - he was usually making curry from a jar.

The really, really slow kisser. Why do we keep pausing? Urgh.

Texting to say ‘Nanight’. It’s ‘good night’. And don’t tell me you go to bed ‘sad’ if I don’t send you a good night message. Sure fire way to never get a message of any sort again.

Agree with previous posters that sometimes it’s hormonal - I realised with one ex I felt ick about him except when ovulating 😳🤣

Aahhh no I think I've got it with DH. Not pregnant, but maybe I should tell him to try and avoid
Picking his nose
Scratching
Eating loudly
Even though we have been together 10yrs?
Is it doomed

Sorry to witter on about the sleeve but just found this - Wiki's finest!

Sexual disgust arises from a desire to avoid "biologically costly mates" and a consideration of the consequences of certain reproductive choices. The two primary considerations are intrinsic quality (e.g., body symmetry, facial attractiveness, etc.) and genetic compatibility (e.g., avoidance of inbreeding such as the incest taboo).

Aka, ick factor!

Sadeyed, but I think that’s the point, with the “right” person it can flash on you but you can pull them up on it or whatever and get past it whereas with the wrong person it’s just instant doom. DP has some annoying habits (as do I) but they don’t provoke the ick.

It's like misophonia but just to do with everything about them. Like their whope existence suddenly makes your skin crael and the rage inside surface even if they just look at you.

Ickophonia? 😁

Yes. A relationship that I was in had the curse of the ick. Poor man. I woke up one day next to him and, in my head, I convinced myself that he looked like Roland Rat. From that point forward everything he did or said made my skin crawl. From his intonation, to his laugh, to the way he decorated his house.

I couldn't get over it. The relationship ended (unsurprisingly).

My loss really as he was single, solvent and sane- and I've had a run of bad luck ever since! Think that's karma for me being a knob, and allowing the curse of the ick to blight an otherwise okay relationship!!

I once dated a guy that literally ticked every box, he was gorgeous and funny and I'd spent a while perusing him.

Abit into the relationship, we got out of the car and i walked behind and noticed how flat the back of his head was. It's crazy I know, it was like a sheet of paper from the back. Ick.

Icks can wear off. This isn't a relationship thing but I used to sit next to a bloke at work who was a bully. Sarcastic. Sexist. Everything he did repulsed me. When he ate, chewing noisily with his mouth open, it was the vilest thing ever. But over time he became less of a dick and one day I realised his eating sounds didn't make me want to projectile vomit any more.

@happycamper11 It would get everywhere! He'd aim for one spot and boom its over my shoulder or on my foot. He got it on my flippin Tiffany lamp once! Just BLAHHH!!!