To think you can't get past 'the ick' im a relationship?

[Thickums]

LIGHT HEARTED Interested in other posters thoughts on 'the ick'.

For those who don't know, the 'ick' is when someone you are dating just starts to irritate you for no apparent reason.
I dont mean normal annoyances, i mean they start to make your skin crawl and their mannerisms just go through you like a knife.
It can just creep up on you without any warning and they can even tick every box and otherwise be a 10/10 partner but unfortunately even them breathing irritates the life out of you. You try to fight it, but ultimately the irritation can turn to anger and make even the best of people become snappy with rage due to 'the ick'.

Ive experienced this once. Lovely bloke, not a bad bone in his body. After about 2 years for some reason still unknown to me i suddenly got 'the ick'. Watching him eat a pot noodle would make my blood boil.. Literally give me the rage. Everything he did irritated the life out of me.
As he was so lovely i tried my hardest to make things work. Until one day i confessed to a friend who told me about 'the ick' and how once it happens it can never be undone. They will irritate you forever. No one knows the cause of the ick.. But its incurable. So i ended it. Felt nothing but relief.

So am i unreasonable to think 'the ick' is a real thing and once it happens the relationship is doomed?

Has anyone else experienced this? What is the reason behind 'the ick'? Why does it usually seem to happen with people who tick all the boxes?

I can't lie, i sometimes read posts on the relationship boards where the OP will say their partner has suddenly said they want out. Whilst everyone else is shouting 'OW' i think to myself maybe they've just got 'the ick?'

*I don't fancy immature idiots, oops!

Yes, I've had this quite a few times. So glad it's a thing and not just me. Once I get it that's it and they have to go straightaway. One BF ate a ginger biscuit then tried to kiss me with a ginger biscuit covered tongue. Ugh! He had to go!

I’ve had it with a women I dated.

She not only asked for underwear from her 60 odd year old mother for Christmas but actually wore it. Some hideously unflattering dull tummy huggers. She was early 30’s! That was it for me.

@Zzzz19 But they were comfy!

You know I've actually had 'the ick' with every man I've ever dated, lived with or married at some point, including my lovely DH. There are some mornings where from the moment I wake up his presence is just annoying as hell and I have to grit my teeth to tolerate him. The way he slurps tea, stares at his phone and faffs about so that he leaves the house running late every time. I love him immensely and he is my true partner in life, I just can't stand him existing sometimes

I've long realised that in my heart of hearts I should really live alone and only see my DH for an hour or two in the evenings and spend time together on the weekends before I send him packing to be disgustingly human somewhere else... I should state that I do suffer from misophonia and I have a low tolerance for human noises at anytime really so I know I'm the freak!

Oh yes the rage - I was once with a boy (in our twenties but couldn’t really call him a man - maybe a man-child) who seemed perfectly normal to begin with but over time I actually came to cringe at his very presence. The ridiculous foot wiggling in bed, the curious inability to hold a knife and fork properly, the nasal quality of his breathing whilst eating, the anger-inducing guffaw at the end of every sentence when talking to friends on the phone, the obsessive preening of his hair with Brylcreem (boak), the hairy back, the tiny cock with a kink to the left...!
Christ almighty I literally have no idea why I fell for him in the first place

What about the opposite (or is it the corollary?) of the ick - when you fancy everyone someone during ovulation week only

Mine came when I realised instead of asking me to pass him something eg a drink he would tap his fingers and thumb together in front of me like a toddler, without speaking and just have this horrendously pathetic look on his face 🤮🤮🤮

@JesusMaryAndJosepheen very wise words

Ovulation week gets madder and madder as I age. I honestly am covered in embarrassment at some of the men I have eyed up in hormonal frenzy. I made the mistake of telling a friend about it once and she now has a collection of photos of Raspberry’s Pin Ups to shame me with. It doesn’t help that most of them are colleagues as they’re the men I see most.

Omg double I have the same problem. Not been on hormonal contraceptives for a couple of years now and while I prefer it, that week is

I'm aware how ridiculous this is, but I have this about mens hands! Like they can help the type of hands they have! Long fingers which have fingernails right to the tip absolutely put me off, as do pudgy hands with bitten nails. Same for small hands. They have to be big, manly hands that look like they could do a bit of manual labour and not whinge abour it.
I have no issue wity a man coming home from a days work with dirty hands (obviously shower when you get in though mate) but if a man had a random bit of dirt under his nails, that would be completely unacceptable and a sackable offence.

Agree with previous posters who mention "little boy behaviour." It killed my attraction for exP. His crimes included coquettish looks when he wanted something, sitting cross-legged at the dining table and in the car and doing a diagonally backwards roll when getting up off the floor (not as a one-off but quite frequently).

He would also mash his food down before beginning to eat it at every fucking meal. And his head and hair were huge. Got the rage just thinking about it all. Lovely bloke though.

Oh I totally get this:
Breaking into a slight jog crossing the road whilst I waited in the car... I was actually hissing under my breathe ‘stop running, you utter dickhead’ and That. Was. It.

Breath

I've just remembered another one.

The bloke who carefully cut his entire meal up into bite-sized pieces before swapping his fork to his right hand and using it as a shovel. I kept expecting him to make aeroplane noises as each mouthful approached his face.

Mine was (fortunately?) on a first date.

Had randomly met someone on a train. He was French and had a very sweet Thierry Henry vibe. We struck up a conversation over the 2-hour journey, got on well, and I (very unlike me) asked for his phone number when we got to the station. He was delighted and we parted classily on the platform with a kiss on each cheek.

He phoned me up soon afterwards and suggested we go to the cinema. I'm a bit of a film buff, so picked something I was looking forward to seeing, which happened to be Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven (Crusades, swordfights, pitched battles, decapitations, etc.). Maybe not the most romantic film in hindsight, but hey, he was a bloke. They usually like these sort of things.

Within the first ten minutes (spoiler alert!), a look-out gets a very graphic cross-bow bolt through the forehead, followed by a violent skirmish where someone gets cleaved from nave to chops and ends with Liam Neeson growling "I once fought for two days with an arrow through my testicle".

At which point my gorgeous date leans over and whispers, horrified: "This is a very violent film you've taken me to!"

Which, to be fair, it was. But it suddenly felt as though the gender roles had been reversed and I was playing chaperone to someone who was out past his bedtime. I knew at that moment that this relationship was never going to get off the ground.

He was still lovely, but any physical attraction had sadly gone completely phut.

@Somethingselfdeprecating the bed foot wiggling. Right up there with grinding his feet over the carpet

I think you're probably right springydaff but didnt want to be the one to say it.

One ex would very carefully trim his nails with a tiny pair of scissors. Then carefully inspect them. Then trim them a bit more. And so on, until I was nearly in tears with the sheer ickness of it all. He didn't last long.

There should be an opposite thread about what is the Phwoar factor.

Oh God I’ve just remembered the one who blew gently into my ear 🤢

Thankssomuch

Cheers. You've just reminded me of the one who stuck his very wet tongue in my ear, waggled it around, and made Mmmmm noises!

thenightsky

🤢😂😂🤣

There should be an opposite thread about what is the Phwoar factor.

Possibly necessary for the survival of the human race at this stage 😭😆