To think you can't get past 'the ick' im a relationship?

[Thickums]

LIGHT HEARTED Interested in other posters thoughts on 'the ick'.

For those who don't know, the 'ick' is when someone you are dating just starts to irritate you for no apparent reason.
I dont mean normal annoyances, i mean they start to make your skin crawl and their mannerisms just go through you like a knife.
It can just creep up on you without any warning and they can even tick every box and otherwise be a 10/10 partner but unfortunately even them breathing irritates the life out of you. You try to fight it, but ultimately the irritation can turn to anger and make even the best of people become snappy with rage due to 'the ick'.

Ive experienced this once. Lovely bloke, not a bad bone in his body. After about 2 years for some reason still unknown to me i suddenly got 'the ick'. Watching him eat a pot noodle would make my blood boil.. Literally give me the rage. Everything he did irritated the life out of me.
As he was so lovely i tried my hardest to make things work. Until one day i confessed to a friend who told me about 'the ick' and how once it happens it can never be undone. They will irritate you forever. No one knows the cause of the ick.. But its incurable. So i ended it. Felt nothing but relief.

So am i unreasonable to think 'the ick' is a real thing and once it happens the relationship is doomed?

Has anyone else experienced this? What is the reason behind 'the ick'? Why does it usually seem to happen with people who tick all the boxes?

I can't lie, i sometimes read posts on the relationship boards where the OP will say their partner has suddenly said they want out. Whilst everyone else is shouting 'OW' i think to myself maybe they've just got 'the ick?'

I disagree @Ash39 I think people who are saying that are doing so to prove 'ick' is a deeper thing. Because certain men we can put up with anything without getting it but others are rejected for comparatively minor things. I think nearly everyone has given an example where it has happened previously if not in their current relationship.

I had the ick horrifically after my first child was born, and to a lesser extent with the others. It was really distressing as I adored my partner, and I thought I’d destroyed our relationship. I could not bear to hear him eating, and we used to eat in turn while the other one held the baby, so suddenly I was listening to him eat constantly. It did pass (although his loud eating does still irritate a bit but not to ick levels) and although we each annoy each other a bit, things are fine.

I was telling him about this thread and giving him some of the examples. Our five year old is now wandering around the house saying ‘BOOM’ to everything.

I went to see him once and he was wearing grey jogging bottoms with piss stains. Nope.

Another one, I had the ick so bad! I cannot remember when it started, but I think it was around the time he made dinner for us both, but when carrying them through from the kitchen for us to eat, he dropped one of the bowls. Instead of helping to clean up, he apologised and said he had to go home??? He also had huge black heads in his pubes (not envy).

Oh and the slurper when going down on me. There was just no need for the sheer amount of noise occurring.

Running up to me in the street in a sort of ‘mimicking horses’ hooves in a gallop’ way, to surprise me

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Oh and another one, when I took him home to family (I was 16 and still living at home) and was told he looked like Sid from the Ice Age film. I just couldn't not see it after that.

@Wilkie1956mog I don’t think you’re talking about the same thing as the thread topic.

Everyone in a long-term relationship has to deal with another person’s annoying habit or action and just live with it. If not, nobody would ever Ben in a relationship with a snorer or someone who uses a wet teaspoon in the sugar caddy.

The Ick is about a sudden dawning knowledge where you instantaneously realise that this isn’t someone you can have as a partner, and often manifests as a small quirk/annoyance like.

It’s nothing to do with being in a happy marriage for 20 years and being pissed off at something your husband does. It’s an I ate, visceral feeling that you just can’t ignore- for me it was an actual repulsion.

"Normal sized hair on a massive baby head" Howling!

But if it's true "ick" Happycamper11 in their current relationship, would the repulsion not mean the end? ( apart from the pregnancy ones I think)

The Ick is about a sudden dawning knowledge where you instantaneously realise that this isn’t someone you can have as a partner, and often manifests as a small quirk/annoyance like.

Yes, I think this is right^^. It isn't just the quirk that annoys you. You have realised, for one reason or another, that you don't want to be with this person and that becomes 'the ick'.

The thing about the OW though...I'm sure it's a thing on here where women are in happy relationships and their OHs suddenly start getting irritated with them and it does turn out to be an OW. I've seen it IRL as well, where a man was cheating on his wife and he started to get really grumpy and unpleasant towards her. It was because he was with an OW and his wife was in the way - what a bitch . Also his way of justifying to himself that his marriage was over anyway, so he had free reign to leave and move on with OW. So I don't think cheating and the ick are mutually exclusive.

I had this! Really fancied a guy, was super pleased to go on a date. He turned up in shirt with a thick cricket style jumper worn around his neck/shoulders, sleeves turned together to secure it. Instant ick, all chemistry had definitely well and truly died well before the kiss at the end of the evening, which would probably have been totally fine if I had still liked him, but was a definite confirmation that he was now yuck yuck yuck!

Greeting me with “How’s you?”

Oh no I hate that! I have a colleague who always asks this but using my actual name as in "How's Cat?" Makes me want to punch him.

Where are these men now? Have some lucky ladies fell in love with their fountains of cum? Hairy toes? Baby heads?
They’re out there, be careful...........

Oh the ick. I was about 22, he was this perfect on paper, very handsome, good job, nice to my friends guy. I ignored the ick for ages but it kept getting worse.
When we would go out clubbing he danced in this sort of careful prancy way with his hands sort of like pincers.
I was a smoker at the time and had to go outside to smoke but only out the back, because he didn't want the neighbours to see..
He referred to going for a poo, instead of a shit. (I know that's really shallow)
I had to end it.

Where are these men now?

I actually know where mine is!

Reminder: he was the face-licking spunk-fountain who developed a mushroomy stench overnight.

After I dumped him, he got very upset and kept ringing me. I blocked his number. A few weeks later, I got a letter in the post. A note from him telling me he wanted to show me what I was missing along with a number of photos of him licking kissing his new girlfriend

Now, this was the late ‘90s and mobile phones didn’t have cameras at the time so he took the photos with a real camera, had them developed, and posted them to me.

I think he may have invented the selfie, come to think of it.

Anyway, reader, he married her. He sent me a FB request a few years ago which I’ve never responded to, but I did have a bit of a stalk. Even seeing him now repulses me. He’s a typically good-looking man, but even the sight of him conjures up that smell for me.

Ick.

(Incidentally, one of the things I didn’t notice about him at the time and have only realised in hindsight is that he had very controlling tendencies. He frequently told me that I was “too opinionated for a woman” and was dismissive of my studies in uni because I’d be churning out his babies at the rate of knots so didn’t need it. He and his wife have 6 children and all the FB photos of her show her gazing up at her under her eyelashes like he’s the messiah, so looks like he found what he was looking for!).

Went out with a very sweet guy once who took me to the cinema. Found out during the film he had the worst laugh I've ever heard. Toe-curlingly awful honestly like a baby goat. I just couldn't get past it and had to end it shortly after.

You are brave @Paperbackbligher, I too got a friend request from one and it was an awful pic of him in his bootleg jeans on a leather chair staring intensely (he was shortsighted) at the camera. I think he thought he was sexy. He has a partner and kids but he wanted to meet me again as he lurrveed me apparently- eh no.

I was young and had agreed to go out with a lad during the summer holidays. Went to his house and he poured a cup of tea with his free hand held up limp and camp. I couldn't get out fast enough, literally ran.

Major crush on someone at work. Really really bad for a good while. Then he mentioned a 'placky' bag and it was the immediate end for me. Like being free from a sickness.

It's not just ick but a horror, you have to get away with immediate effect.

I think the wanting to mother them thing is accurate, there's a YouTuber I follow on Twitter, whenever anyone posts anything about "please wear crop tops all the time" or something, I think "please no, that's just wrong!" He's a few months older than my eldest. It doesn't work with other guys the same age, just him.

Erm.....huh????

Oh God, I've had this a few times. There was:

Whimpering and holding his crotch in a shop as he needed the loo.

Referring to going for a shit as a "poo plop" - that made me want to climb out of my own skin!

When he leant forward he bent his knees inwards Instead of outwards. Bleurgh!

Kissed me then pulled his tongue out of my mouth and licked my lips and face

Said after a blow job where he came after about 5 seconds "that was soooooooo erotic". Gah! Yuck!

I don't know whether it's more or less depressing that they weren't all the same person

Some of these are horrendous!!!

I don't feel such a cow after reading some of these! It's a visceral response, folks, not a general dislike..

OK I'm going to say it : I bet men's ick moments are if women are, or perceived to be, too masculine..

When I was about 19 I’d been on a night out and happened to bump into a slightly older guy I’d been flirting with. A few days later he gave me a lift home from work and talking about the night out he said “oh yeah you were pissed as a fart”
I don’t know why but the phrase went right though me. It was something your nana would say, not a 20 yr odd lad. Put me right off him and still hate the saying

@springydaff I agree with you, I bet it js about masculine women.

What I can't get my head around, is that I know rationally that men should be able to act however they choose, embrace their feminine side and all that. But then if they do, it makes my ovaries shrivel and I can't fancy them anymore.

It's as if, by showing "weakness" they seem less hunter-gathery or something. But not so I fancy emotionally immature idiots.

I am starting to realise why I am single!