To think you can't get past 'the ick' im a relationship?

[Thickums]

LIGHT HEARTED Interested in other posters thoughts on 'the ick'.

For those who don't know, the 'ick' is when someone you are dating just starts to irritate you for no apparent reason.
I dont mean normal annoyances, i mean they start to make your skin crawl and their mannerisms just go through you like a knife.
It can just creep up on you without any warning and they can even tick every box and otherwise be a 10/10 partner but unfortunately even them breathing irritates the life out of you. You try to fight it, but ultimately the irritation can turn to anger and make even the best of people become snappy with rage due to 'the ick'.

Ive experienced this once. Lovely bloke, not a bad bone in his body. After about 2 years for some reason still unknown to me i suddenly got 'the ick'. Watching him eat a pot noodle would make my blood boil.. Literally give me the rage. Everything he did irritated the life out of me.
As he was so lovely i tried my hardest to make things work. Until one day i confessed to a friend who told me about 'the ick' and how once it happens it can never be undone. They will irritate you forever. No one knows the cause of the ick.. But its incurable. So i ended it. Felt nothing but relief.

So am i unreasonable to think 'the ick' is a real thing and once it happens the relationship is doomed?

Has anyone else experienced this? What is the reason behind 'the ick'? Why does it usually seem to happen with people who tick all the boxes?

I can't lie, i sometimes read posts on the relationship boards where the OP will say their partner has suddenly said they want out. Whilst everyone else is shouting 'OW' i think to myself maybe they've just got 'the ick?'

First time having sex with my then partner without a condom, he whispered "That's me that" I'm cringing now

He also had (has, he's not dead) very short legs, completely out of proportion with his torso (he's not tall anyway, but VERY short legs)

Christ, I'm convinced we have the same ex!(and the 'he's not dead' is an effort to temp fate). He's not also an abusive liar/child abandoner is he? Ahhhhh happy memories 😄

OMG....what do you do if you get the ick after thirty years of marriage? As in, everything he does/doesn’t do is sooo icky!

I hear you....trying to be sexy and failing miserably....

The one that made me pull over on the hard shoulder so he could have a piss.
We’d just passed a services
It’s really dangerous
The world is not your toilet
And you’ve now got penis hands all over my beloved car.

It was, as others say, a switch. It was like he even looked different.

Dh does a lot of things that should give me the ick, but doesn’t. It’s weird

the ic can be a red flag, a warning sign and should not be ignored.

First time having sex with my then partner without a condom, he whispered "That's me that"

Oh god, no. How did you not part his head clean from his shoulder?

I saw his bare feet for the first time - looked like they’d been crudely carved from a block of grey marble, massive stumpy lumps of caveman proportions. I gasped in shock and felt like boaking, it was the beginning of the end.

Different men - one said about a forthcoming do, you can wear a nice frock. That did it. With another jealousy. With another it was a pair of white trousers. A very sudden nail in that coffin.

@Sweetnessandfight I reckon hormones may have something to do with it or illness/stress. I was absolutely besotted with DH when we first met and once I fell pregnant I couldn't even stand him breathing in the same room as me. I was vile to him, how he stuck around I have no idea. We had only been together a few months poor bloke. Once I got to 12/13 weeks and the nausea stopped I loved him again

I wouldn't say we are like loves young dream still after 15 years but things that would have given me the ick don't with him. We aren't probably as romantic etc as we should be but we have a good relationship and the annoying things just piss us off rather than put us off I guess.

Maybe when you get the ick you dump them quickly, maybe it does wear off. I can't say I have left it long enough to see really.

Bootleg jeans - a swift boak.

A very pampered (and very young) man who'd obviously been raised to think that every word he spoke fluttered out of the depths of profundity like a gift to the world.

He said a lot of things that made me cringe, but the one that sealed the deal was him standing over-dramatically at a tall window, sort of draped against the frame. He sighed and turned his head back over his shoulder at me, "You know... I've trained my eyes to see the other side of the moon."

It was so earnest and EURGH and he said it like he was reading a movie line in his own head.

-la fin

@Bedsprings I was 18 so I didn't know what to do haha!

This thread is making me feel quite a lot better actually. I've had a huge dip in my sex drive and was worried it was a problem with DH but this has made me realise I never get the ick with him, even though he does awful farts and plucks out his nose hairs when we're watching TV, or has a variety of obnoxious coughing noises he inherited from his dad. Even with all these things I still love him and want to be close to him. It's very reassuring

Chuckling out loud. Thank you.

@msflibble I was thinking the same, I feel very reassured which is weird!

A really lovely man I'd been seeing once moved my hair to the side to give my neck a kiss.. he then made the biting an apple "ooombbpp" sound in my ear. It physically repulsed me and I can still feel his breath on me and that sound clear as a bell. 🤢 I broke up with him two days later and tried to say "it's not you, it's me" but got it completely the wrong way round "it's not me, it's you"

Had this, and I think it's hormonal, and I think this is why men think we're crazy.. Lol

Yes it's defo real. For me the scenario was a little different tho. I have a male friend, lovely guy, always had a little bit of a mummy crush on him, when I saw him I'd eyeball a little bit n wonder how the hell he was single. Then I called to his house one day after knowing him for years, to drop something over and he was barefoot and had hairy toes. Ick!

Suddenly the mummy crush was over lol. Still friends with the guy, still can't work out why he's single but defo don't see him the same way after seeing those toes lol.

He’d waggle it in my direction going “Rick the Dick wants to viiiiisit”.

Nooooooo @paper - in what universe could he imagine that's sexy?

🤮

Feet seem to crop up a lot in this thread. Specifically - toes.

@Glitterfisher glad to hear it's helping you too!
As well as reassured I also feel a little bit sick from some of the very funny but completely gag-worthy stories on here!

Urgh, yes. Graeme of the baggy white y-fronts. And Richard and the ice cream. Both came out of the woodwork years later to try to contact me; I suspect because they never knew what they did wrong. It was the ick, guys. I’m sorry I broke your hearts.

in what universe could he imagine that's sexy?

I know, @thickwoollytights Even thinking of it now makes me feel queasy.

We were very young and he was a virgin before we met so I think he was just finding his feet with me and hadn’t really developed a sex filter!

It was a sex thing that made me decide to break up. On our last weekend together, as he was about to ejaculate, he pulled out and then aimed for the wall over his head. He was late teens, very fit so was able to get quite an arch on it. Just the sight of him basically cumming on a wall and then watching as his semen dripped down towards the headboard horrified me.

Aaaah I remember those days of fit young lads who could shoot it across the room / up the wall :o