To have told colleague I'd would do a poo

[chellochello]

Most embarrassing day of my life - I have sent an email to a young male Collegue saying these exact words 'OK I will do a POO'

Now what I should have said was 'ok I will raise a PO' (purchase order) but in my rush I typed the above am I'm just mortified- he did place my order so he knew what I really meant and he hasn't said anything about it but I'm so embarrassed

Do not ever mix the words 'placenta' and 'polenta'. One of these makes a very nice cake. The other, not so much...

DiscoCunt is the best thing I’ve ever read

Oh, I'm forever asking people to 'poo in the finance office' when I'd like them to pop in. He'll know what you meant

I predict someone will name change to DiscoCunt. Not me. It's not for me!

I asked for a partial refund for "...time and incontinence..." after being messed about for weeks by a company.

onalongsabbatical I'm gutted, I think that someone already has taken DiscoCunt, would've been perfect

one of my customers last week sent me a Skype message saying - please shit today instead of please ship today

A friend posted a lovely holiday location pic of her and her husband on Facebook with the announcement "We're here for our Anal". Caused much merriment in the comments!

I used to be a Maths teacher and once asked my class 'how much money am I shitting?' Nice time for merging the words sharing and splitting

Who hasnt done one of these things at work. I am sure he realises it's an error and personally I would embrace, celebrate, share it for all to enjoy! It's pretty harmless.

I remember typing up a contract many year's ago and made a couple of errors and it all had to be redone ... general pubic and man laying instead of public and main

Hamas!!!

DiscoCunt

Many years ago I was tasked with designing the company long service poster which had images of all the staff achieving service awards and their name plus date started. After it had all gone to print and been put up my manager came to me and said it had been pointed out to me that a colleague had flagged an error in his entry. His name was Gary and I had missed out one letter (guess which one) and even worse the combination with his surname was truly unfortunate. It goes down as one of the epic design fails of my career up there with making the Independent due to failing to photoshop out someones legs from a political event in the nidst of an election!

And there's even a typo!

Midst not Nidst!

I worked in the HQ of a big bank and a client on the phone asked if I was still there. I replied yes, would you like me to heavy breathe for you? I have no memory of doing so, but got hauled into my directors office. When she told me what I'd said it made me laugh. Perhaps it's not surprising I didn't make it past my trial period. The clients liked me though!

I had to fast for a medical procedure. DS had just started school and one of the mums I'd just met sent me a text saying she'd see me at the school gates that afternoon to arrange a playdate. I replied saying that I wouldn't be there because I'd just done a 24-hour fart and was feeling a bit washed out.

@Wallywobbles. “ I replied yes, would you like me to heavy breathe for you? I have no memory of doing so, ”

You don’t remember?!

No memory of saying it.

My phone's finger sliding keyboard loves telling people I'm very dirty instead of very sorry, which has produced a few confusing messages, especially when I'm feeling sorry for someone.

I always remember our staff comms team's email telling us something along the lines of there being a few places available for any members of staff interested in hearing a talk by a professor of astrology in the department of psychics (should have been astronomy and physics). I can only think they typed it like that in their draft as a joke for their team and someone sent it out by mistake as the final version.

Oh yes, similarly, someone sent round a Daft Schedule

Once when travelling in central America I was booking a sail passage from Panama to Colombia. I sent an email to the captain asking if I could "come on his body" (should have been boat) 😁
I'm sure he gave me a wink as I got on board!

Another classic - this was on the schedule for an exchange trip that my DS went on in the summer (no idea what it should have been!)

Lola that made me chuckle!

@spiderlight 24 hour fart I would feel a bit drained out too!

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, you can always follow up with

"Ugh, thanks autocorrect. PO, not poo! Regards etc"

Or whatever over misstep. I sent a lovely message to the family chat group about "I was on the cock all night, kept me awake and made my teeth feel all claggy". Coke, phone, diet coke. Thanks, autocorrect.

My GCSE history teacher once gave the class a printed handout which stated that Gladstone faced severe pubic condemnation over the General Gordon affair. He had no sense of humour, though, because when he eventually asked us what we were all giggling at, and we told him, he just snapped "Stop being so childish!" Well, we were children, and frankly I would still find that funny now at the age of 40.