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to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?

629 replies

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 15:50

Amazon Prime Video doesn’t have the new Quentin Tarantino film that has just come out at the cinema. Ergo Amazon Prime is a waste of money.

The shower screen in the guest bathroom has a stationary rather than hinged shower screen.

That someone used the loo in the middle of the night and he could hear them flush - his bedroom door was 3/4 open.

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

The Thai restaurant sent us too many prawn crackers. They sent an appropriate amount for the number of people, actually.

My deodorant is blue. And what?

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

His hair was still in the shower in his en suite when he went back to use it the next day.

The towels I put out for him are white.

Our front gate is too squeaky.

The planes overhead are too low.

We have too many rugs.

He can hear traffic when in the garden.

Our dogs won’t cuddle him.

Our children wear shorts.

The settings of the seats in the car we lent him weren’t to his liking.

He doesn’t like the preset radio stations on our car radio.

My DH (his brother) “doesn’t wear a hat”??????

We don’t have his very specific music taste available to him on vinyl, although we did think to search out appropriate Spotify playlists for him but “that’s not quite the same authenticity”.

The local swimming pool (in a large city) keeps “provincial, British hours”.

Microwave steamers are “excessive gadgets”. Then 30 minutes later, “I suppose you could steam veg in your steamer, have you thought of that?” No shit!

None of the 3 duvets we offered him were suitable.

I use my inhaler too frequently.

Why do I have rosehip oil in the bathroom, it’s of no use to anyone.

Confused HmmAngry

OP posts:
Decadoma · 15/09/2019 19:58

We know a similar and call him Eeyore! Or marvin, the paranoid android.

Walk around with a cheery grin and chirp "First world problems!" every time he moans 😂

ThatCurlyGirl · 15/09/2019 20:07

DH just brought DS back from rugby and he said “paying for a hobby is excessive, can’t he just play cards?

OMG this is everything! Can you forward me his address because I'll need to invoice him for my dry cleaning - I just laughed so suddenly and aggressively I lost half my drink! 🥤

Cauliflowerpower · 15/09/2019 20:19

Lol I would just reply "RUUUUUUDDDE" every time he us rude....

Which seems like every time he speaks...

My granny always said "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all "

Dramaofallama · 15/09/2019 20:19

That list is hilarious though Grin
'The dogs won't cuddle him' has to be the funniest complaint I have ever heard.

ControversialFerret · 15/09/2019 20:23

Christ his wife must have the patience of a saint! Can you imagine him complaining post-shag? You moved too much and moaned too loudly.

PrimeMumister · 15/09/2019 20:27

A suggestion box in his room would be hilarious Grin

You have more patience then I do Op I would've locked him outside by now

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/09/2019 20:45

You need to borrow a friend who will open the door to him and then say that they don't know who he is, don't know who BanKittenHeels is, they've lived in the house for five years and if he doesn't leave then they'll call the police.

I can think of a few people I'd like to do this to.

tillytrotter1 · 15/09/2019 20:50

In the nearly 20 years I’ve known this man I haven’t known him to like or enjoy anything

Sounds like a friend of ours, we should introduce them. Anything not German is inferior in his frequently expressed opinion.

OhioOhioOhio · 15/09/2019 20:53

My stbxh is like that. Joy sucker.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/09/2019 20:54

”We’ll think of a collective MN alibi if you need to off him.”

We really should put together a team;

alibis (complete with tinkly-laughs)

shovel-wielders

patio-providers

people prepared to wrap a body in old carpet and stuff it in the boot of a car

providers of old carpet

lenders of cars with capacious boots

makers of coffee and cake to sustain the team during and after the process

It would make things so much simpler if we could just pick up a phone and call the "A" ("Arsehole") Team to deal with the arseholes in our lives.

Frangible · 15/09/2019 20:56

Bop him on the head pre-emptivelywith a soup spoon every time he opens his mouth. It will give a satisfying ‘bong’ and give him something real to complain about.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/09/2019 20:59

Especially if there's a hotel within 300m of your house?

I think you mean "300 miles".

Spingtrolls · 15/09/2019 20:59

I wouldn't have him back. No game playing or anything else and still put up with it.

Bapman · 15/09/2019 21:00

This would infuriate me. I think I’d just have to laugh though

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/09/2019 21:01

I actually had to go and stand in the garden in the rain and laugh.

Grin Grin Grin

iklboo · 15/09/2019 21:02

My dad was a butcher and taught me how to joint meat. Ahem.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/09/2019 21:04

You will be an asset to the "A" Team, iklboo

SubisYodrethwhenLarping · 15/09/2019 21:17

I didn't mean which town/village does he live in

I meant which country cos I am assuming it is abroad somewhere

SubisYodrethwhenLarping · 15/09/2019 21:18

Cos trying to work out which country was so perfect

Food wise

Shower plug hole cleaning wise

Etc

Etc

Etc

FredaFrogspawn · 15/09/2019 21:22

Could you try doing this? Every time he starts a complaint, put your hand up into a halt sign and say, ‘ Ah - I have to stop you there...’ as if you had something important to say. But leave it hanging. Every. Time,

AnnonniMoose · 15/09/2019 21:45

My car has a really big boot. Just saying.

Cryalot2 · 15/09/2019 21:55

You are a saint op . Give him a list and tell him what a miserable old git he is.Flowers

CherryCheezcake · 15/09/2019 22:00

I made this graphic for the amusement of a group of friends, one of whom's (now ex-)H was being a massive twat, and have 'MNed' it for this thread. (Outs self massively to anyone from that group who is here)

to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?
Bookworm4 · 15/09/2019 22:09

@CherryCheezcake
🏆🏆⭐️⭐️🏆🏆

Mix56 · 15/09/2019 22:18

I think when he opens his mouth to say anything, the entire family should say in unison, "oh do fuck off Trevor"

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