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to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?

629 replies

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 15:50

Amazon Prime Video doesn’t have the new Quentin Tarantino film that has just come out at the cinema. Ergo Amazon Prime is a waste of money.

The shower screen in the guest bathroom has a stationary rather than hinged shower screen.

That someone used the loo in the middle of the night and he could hear them flush - his bedroom door was 3/4 open.

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

The Thai restaurant sent us too many prawn crackers. They sent an appropriate amount for the number of people, actually.

My deodorant is blue. And what?

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

His hair was still in the shower in his en suite when he went back to use it the next day.

The towels I put out for him are white.

Our front gate is too squeaky.

The planes overhead are too low.

We have too many rugs.

He can hear traffic when in the garden.

Our dogs won’t cuddle him.

Our children wear shorts.

The settings of the seats in the car we lent him weren’t to his liking.

He doesn’t like the preset radio stations on our car radio.

My DH (his brother) “doesn’t wear a hat”??????

We don’t have his very specific music taste available to him on vinyl, although we did think to search out appropriate Spotify playlists for him but “that’s not quite the same authenticity”.

The local swimming pool (in a large city) keeps “provincial, British hours”.

Microwave steamers are “excessive gadgets”. Then 30 minutes later, “I suppose you could steam veg in your steamer, have you thought of that?” No shit!

None of the 3 duvets we offered him were suitable.

I use my inhaler too frequently.

Why do I have rosehip oil in the bathroom, it’s of no use to anyone.

Confused HmmAngry

OP posts:
PommePoire · 15/09/2019 18:08

Gosh, so maybe he just thinks he's right about everything! And perhaps assumes that you not arguing implies agreement! "he would immediately back down and couldn’t see why his comments would even merit reply."

cruellaisback · 15/09/2019 18:08

Can’t believe he isn’t clearing his own hair from the shower plughole! And what is wrong with white towels - is he worried about leaving skidmarks, perchance? Urgh.

On the other hand, thank you for a v entertaining thread OP and everyone else for sharing their brilliant suggestions!

Walnutwhipster · 15/09/2019 18:13

I think he may just be the reincarnation of my late FIL, the joy sucking misery.

Notthetoothfairy · 15/09/2019 18:17

Try boil in the vag veg next time? He might prefer it to steamed.

Pinkypurple35 · 15/09/2019 18:18

Please tell us.... what was his opinion on the (delicious sounding) brisket??? Grin

lljkk · 15/09/2019 18:19

In the vag... really?!! Well yes, many men would be interested to see that.

Wolfcub · 15/09/2019 18:22

I thought drs were warning against vag steaming Grin

Andylion · 15/09/2019 18:28

I have no idea what the issue is with blue deodorant/not wearing a hat/DC wearing shorts because I didn’t engage him in his batshit opinions. I just shot him my “catch yourself on” look, but it just doesn’t register with him.

OP, is everything he says a complaint, or sometimes does he just make statements in a whiney voice. For example, does he say "blue deodorant is weird or bad" or does he just say "your deodorant is blue".

IAmALazyArse · 15/09/2019 18:29

Are you having my brother over😮Hmm

I met a person who was unhappy with EVERYTHING. And what killed me was when he got in a huff in a restaurant because everything was too good and so he had nothing to moan about😂

StayInYourLaneBoy · 15/09/2019 18:34

Does he complain in monotone? I just imagine him with a really boring, monotonous voice...

WhatchaMaCalllit · 15/09/2019 18:36

Why are you having him back to stay on Thursday once he leaves? Especially if there's a hotel within 300m of your house?

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/09/2019 18:41

Has he had the brisket yet??

Chocaholic4672 · 15/09/2019 18:46

What a knob jockey

Theworldisfullofgs · 15/09/2019 18:49

My dsister is a forensic scientist and knows how to commit the perfect crime. Hope that helps....

Binglebong · 15/09/2019 18:54

Mention to DH in his hearing: "you were right, Jo said he sounds perfect. The writers block is gone completely. She asked for any favourites".

When he asks just say "it's a friend, no-one you know". Get caught writing down or immediately texting his comments to Jo (enlist a friend who will reply with smiley faces or "perfect!").

Hotseat · 15/09/2019 19:05

What a delight. You'll miss him when he goes.

DartmoorDoughnut · 15/09/2019 19:09

How’s the brisket?!

timeisnotaline · 15/09/2019 19:18

This is amazing. For us, not you! My favourite is the list of topics where you guess beforehand what his complaint will be. There must be some game like balderdash you could just use the list and so minimum effort. Score needs to be on the wall somewhere obvious.
If you do go the vuvuzela route please remember they are quite loud, and children’s ears are sensitive. I don’t want to be that person but it would take some of the fun out if you’d deafened your own children.

You must do whatever you can to keep his marriage together. Imagine if he were single, with so much extra time to spend with you. Ask her what she likes and start planning her Christmas present. It has to be so amazing she won’t end it next year because she wants another Christmas present from you guys.

Rainbowknickers · 15/09/2019 19:26

This reminds me of my brother (who I’m nc with now)
He moved in with me when I was a skint single mum of 3 living in a 2 bed house
(He didn’t pay a penny in rent)
My mother bought him his own fridge to live in my kitchen
He moaned I didn’t fill it with food for him (I was counting pennies to feed the kids-I couldn’t afford to pay for him too)
He moaned that the kids lived there
He moaned when I laughed at him saying he had been Jesus in a past life
Ditto that he’d been Robin Hood/merlin in other past lives
He moaned that he didn’t have his own room
He moaned I refused to wash his clothes
He moaned when I did put his stuff in the machine-I should have done a load just for him not washed it with everyone else’s clothes
He whinged that I asked him to get a job and pay his way-he shouldn’t have to work-he’s way too special
He moaned when my daughter was potty trained-she should have been left in nappies to suit him
He moaned when we used our own bathroom in the morning
He moaned that we got up in the morning-and he wanted to lie in
Many more but I lost it and kicked him out-we don’t speak anymore

fromthefloorboardsup · 15/09/2019 19:30

What a miserable existence he must have. You're more patient than I am!

Blibbyblobby · 15/09/2019 19:34

I’m reaching here, but is it possible he is trying to make jokey comments and just has a really shit sense of humour?

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 19:38

The carrots were too sweet (I didn’t put honey or any kind of dressing on them). I actually had to go and stand in the garden in the rain and laugh.

DH is going to have a word.

OP posts:
Wolfcub · 15/09/2019 19:42

Try “go and get yourself a McDonald’s you ungrateful twat”

IfIShouldFallFromGraceWithGod · 15/09/2019 19:45

Make the list, it's a brilliant idea
Let him see you write each complaint then give it to him as he leaves

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 19:53

I’ve copied my list from here onto notes on my phone. What I’m planning on doing is sending the list to the printer as he goes to bed. He will have to pass the printer as he goes upstairs.

OP posts:
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