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to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?

629 replies

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 15:50

Amazon Prime Video doesn’t have the new Quentin Tarantino film that has just come out at the cinema. Ergo Amazon Prime is a waste of money.

The shower screen in the guest bathroom has a stationary rather than hinged shower screen.

That someone used the loo in the middle of the night and he could hear them flush - his bedroom door was 3/4 open.

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

The Thai restaurant sent us too many prawn crackers. They sent an appropriate amount for the number of people, actually.

My deodorant is blue. And what?

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

His hair was still in the shower in his en suite when he went back to use it the next day.

The towels I put out for him are white.

Our front gate is too squeaky.

The planes overhead are too low.

We have too many rugs.

He can hear traffic when in the garden.

Our dogs won’t cuddle him.

Our children wear shorts.

The settings of the seats in the car we lent him weren’t to his liking.

He doesn’t like the preset radio stations on our car radio.

My DH (his brother) “doesn’t wear a hat”??????

We don’t have his very specific music taste available to him on vinyl, although we did think to search out appropriate Spotify playlists for him but “that’s not quite the same authenticity”.

The local swimming pool (in a large city) keeps “provincial, British hours”.

Microwave steamers are “excessive gadgets”. Then 30 minutes later, “I suppose you could steam veg in your steamer, have you thought of that?” No shit!

None of the 3 duvets we offered him were suitable.

I use my inhaler too frequently.

Why do I have rosehip oil in the bathroom, it’s of no use to anyone.

Confused HmmAngry

OP posts:
thetemptationofchocolate · 15/09/2019 22:22

I would be tempted to channel Father Jack and shout 'Arse' loudly every time he whines. You and DH could make a game of it, who can 'Arse' first?

LellyMcKelly · 15/09/2019 22:33

I knew someone like that at uni and we started making him say two nice things after he’d said something mean. When he finished his degree he went back to the same uni to do his masters and I said, “I thought you hated it there. You were never done moaning about it”. He replied, “No, I loved it. I just thought there were a few things that could be improved”. If he’d won a million pounds on the lottery he’d be complaining that it wasn’t two million.

Every time your BIL moans say something random like, “It could be worse. You could have syphilis” or “It could be worse. You could have to wear my knickers”, or “At least there’s not a bomb in the garage”. It might not make him shut up, but it’ll be funny.

maddening · 15/09/2019 22:34

Just repeat every time he starts, before he even finishes his sentence "please stop now bil, you are always incredibly rude and if you continue then I will have to ask you to leave as it is unpleasant, tedious and unnecessary and I refuse to put up with it anymore"

YobaOljazUwaque · 15/09/2019 22:35

I'm clearly not very imaginative. I wanted to suggest making Bingo cards for next visit but 4 other people have already suggested it.

MillieMoodle · 15/09/2019 22:42

I think you should play Cards Against Humanity with him, seeing as he's so fond of card games Wink

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 22:44

@CherryCheezcake
Grin

OP posts:
hungrywalrus · 15/09/2019 22:45

Play complaints bingo to keep sane. As in you and your husband write a list of 20 odd likely complaints independently and see who finishes first. Bonus points if you show him the list...

SocialAwks · 15/09/2019 22:57

This is the best thread I have ever read, I burst out laughing at his comment about holding your DS when he was born. I would just be eagerly waiting to see what he was going to complain about next but admittedly would hate having him in my home. I feel for you OP I really do Grin

ellzebellze · 15/09/2019 23:04

I have a van and a wheelbarrow.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 15/09/2019 23:06

He sounds like my dad. The last time he visited he complained that

We live in a semi

The garden was not big enough (it was winter and we didn't use it)

I read DD a children's story about wasps which he felt perpetuated unfair stereotypes about wasps

The colour of our car (ice blue) was dangerous

The Listerine we had bought in for him was the wrong flavour

And best of all, the National Trust property we visited was full of people during the day who obviously didn't work. He is retired. Hmm

I am very good at smiling and nodding.

Bookworm4 · 15/09/2019 23:09

@ellzebellze
I’ll raise you a van and a wood chipper 😉

Queenie8 · 15/09/2019 23:10

I'll bring the best ever chocolate cake and good coffee to the patio dig, and a very strong OH who is also burly and discreet 👍🏻

SaraNade · 15/09/2019 23:14

I have read every reply on here by the OP, and can I ask the one question it seems no one has asked - what the fark are you doing hosting him and allowing him to stay? If it were me he, he wouldn't darken my door. And you are actually going to welcome him back on Thursday, like a mug? wtf? WHY??? Why do you put up with this? That's why he does it, he knows you will put up with it, then welcome him back for more! We need a head banging against brick wall emoticon here, because I honestly don't understand why you're rolling out the red carpet for him while having the word doormat written on your forehead. Wtf? Confused

PickAChew · 15/09/2019 23:19

Hand him the phone number to the nearest (OK, maybe 4th nearest) travelodge).

Notthebradybunch · 15/09/2019 23:21

What an absolute knob, he would be on transport back to wherever he came from if it was me, or maybe I'd just kill him and be done with him forever!

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 15/09/2019 23:38

For some reason he made me think of this. I think that pretending to be French is a great way to deal with him.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=YYpsz2eAKOs

ThatCurlyGirl · 15/09/2019 23:40

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff

I read DD a children's story about wasps which he felt perpetuated unfair stereotypes about wasps

That. Is. Amazing.

One of my favourite things on Mumsnet this year so far 😂

Patroclus · 15/09/2019 23:56

oh my god TillyTrotter I know a german exactly like that. Are there lots of them?

CheshireChat · 16/09/2019 00:05

Patroclus they're universal, I don't think there's a single country that lacks such a specimen. Generally male IME, but I've encountered the British female variety Wink.

Dita73 · 16/09/2019 00:12

I’m so sorry you’re having to tolerate this arsehole

joyfullittlehippo · 16/09/2019 00:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaraNade · 16/09/2019 00:23

Dita73 That's the thing, she doesn't have to tolerate him. So why is she? I don't get it. Why put up with this in the first place? And her DC are seeing this, too.

Patroclus · 16/09/2019 00:29

I can understand the wasp thing. My uncle bangs on about the unfair press that rats get.

HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 16/09/2019 00:31

My German born Jewish refugee grandparents imported everything from Germany. They even had a house in Bavaria at one point. When they sold it, their British home was full of everything German times two.
I learnt German primarily to read the back of the pudding packets as they even ate German wherever possible. I miss them both even though they were a nightmare to take anywhere that wasn't German as there would be faults with everything. I'll always remember their outrage with anything that wasn't German enough and therefore shoddy/tasteless/bad service etc.

They weren't as funny as your BIL op, he sounds bonkers. Love the total randomness of his complaints.

3dogs2cats · 16/09/2019 00:37

I don’t get the mn obsession with cutting family out. He is a knob, but he is family, and it’s clearly not personal. I think the. Children will learn more about human relationships from their miserable uncle than they would from a perfect guest. I think I would need to tell him though...