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to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?

629 replies

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 15:50

Amazon Prime Video doesn’t have the new Quentin Tarantino film that has just come out at the cinema. Ergo Amazon Prime is a waste of money.

The shower screen in the guest bathroom has a stationary rather than hinged shower screen.

That someone used the loo in the middle of the night and he could hear them flush - his bedroom door was 3/4 open.

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

The Thai restaurant sent us too many prawn crackers. They sent an appropriate amount for the number of people, actually.

My deodorant is blue. And what?

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

His hair was still in the shower in his en suite when he went back to use it the next day.

The towels I put out for him are white.

Our front gate is too squeaky.

The planes overhead are too low.

We have too many rugs.

He can hear traffic when in the garden.

Our dogs won’t cuddle him.

Our children wear shorts.

The settings of the seats in the car we lent him weren’t to his liking.

He doesn’t like the preset radio stations on our car radio.

My DH (his brother) “doesn’t wear a hat”??????

We don’t have his very specific music taste available to him on vinyl, although we did think to search out appropriate Spotify playlists for him but “that’s not quite the same authenticity”.

The local swimming pool (in a large city) keeps “provincial, British hours”.

Microwave steamers are “excessive gadgets”. Then 30 minutes later, “I suppose you could steam veg in your steamer, have you thought of that?” No shit!

None of the 3 duvets we offered him were suitable.

I use my inhaler too frequently.

Why do I have rosehip oil in the bathroom, it’s of no use to anyone.

Confused HmmAngry

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 15/09/2019 17:08

He's so miserable and absurd it's actually hilarious. Tell us more stuff he hates!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/09/2019 17:08

”We’ll think of a collective MN alibi if you need to off him.”

I am sure that @BanKittenHeels was here with me, the whole time - helping me make macarons, @DowntonCrabby. I can provide a picture of the macarons if necessary!

EL8888 · 15/09/2019 17:13

@Coffeeandchocolate9 all of this

He was clearly never told if you gave nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all. Mind you it sounds like he's been like this whole life. His parents should have knocked that out of him. I personally would challenge each of his comments. It's hot today so why not wear shorts? It's better playing rugby then playing fortnite every hour of the day. You are doing him a favour after all, not the other way around. His wife must be a saint. Or deaf or have no English at all

As an aside l love brisket. If he doesn't want his dinner then l will have it. If I set off now, l shouldn't be too late.... I will provide an alibi as well

Durgasarrow · 15/09/2019 17:14

Tell him, "This is awesome, I'm writing it down."

Durgasarrow · 15/09/2019 17:15

Yes, please don't let him leave.

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 17:15

He's so miserable and absurd it's actually hilarious. Tell us more stuff he hates!

When our first DS was born, he came to visit us and when DH put the baby in his arms he said “I could see how this weight would depress someone”.
I laughed so hard I pissed myself, which admittedly isn’t that hard to do one week after your genitals have been torn to shreds.

OP posts:
Durgasarrow · 15/09/2019 17:18

hahahahahahaha

Inebriati · 15/09/2019 17:18
Grin

OK so its much funnier reading it on Mumsnet than living with it. But I double dare you to leave a Suggestions book in his room.

RippleEffects · 15/09/2019 17:27

I think you and your DH should both surfthe thread loudly reading out some of the suggestions and ask your DBil to help you contribute to the thread.

TemporaryPermanent · 15/09/2019 17:28

Lol at the weighty baby and inebriati. And all of it really. What a knob.

PotterHead1985 · 15/09/2019 17:30

He sounds batshit.

On another note can I get your brisket recipe?

OkayGo · 15/09/2019 17:34

Hahahaha what did I just read?!? He sounds utterly batty!

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 17:40

This is the recipe but I use a lot more garlic because I once had “brisket with 40 garlic cloves” and it was heaven.
www.rivercottage.net/recipes/slow-roast-beef-brisket-with-potatoes-and-onions

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 15/09/2019 17:42

Read him Mr Grumpy Needs a Hobby (or something like that) as basically Mr Happy tries really hard to find something Mr Grumpy likes to
Do - but eventually they realise that Mr Grumpy's favourite thing to do is..... moaning!!

PommePoire · 15/09/2019 17:47

BanKittenHeels does he want an argument? I mean, a lot of these bizarre complaints seem like he's setting out to provoke you into justifying your choices: 'provincial hours' 'inconvenient' stair gates 'paying for a hobby is excessive' etc. Do you think he's frustrated that you and his DB don't take the bait? He sounds like someone who is used to having a bickering partner. You deserve a medal for putting up with with such good humour.

Also, you should totally twat him if he disrespects your brisket.

bridgetreilly · 15/09/2019 17:51

In the nearly 20 years I’ve known this man I haven’t known him to like or enjoy anything.

Be fair, OP, he clearly enjoys complaining.

BatshitBertha · 15/09/2019 17:51

This reminds me of a thread a while back 'what has your 2YO complained about today'

It was hilarious...of course they were toddlers

LannieDuck · 15/09/2019 17:51

I imagine the blue deodorant is a problem because blue = boys (rolls eyes), and he tried to use it only to discover it was perfumed?

Thornhill58 · 15/09/2019 17:52

Can he be autistic or in the spectrum?

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 17:58

He isn’t autistic, he’s just a gobshite.
I don’t think he is after an argument either. Previously, when I was younger I would get very offended and try to justify myself and he would immediately back down and couldn’t see why his comments would even merit reply.

OP posts:
lljkk · 15/09/2019 17:59

I love people like that. Supreme entertainment.

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 15/09/2019 17:59

“I can see how this weight would depress someone”? What now? That doesn’t even make sense! Was he making some sort of dig about PND? Or suggesting that you would be disappointed that your baby was not heavy enough?

I had a colleague who was a bit like this, utterly incapable of seeing positive in anything and a real whinger. His wife was not a native English speaker and although her English was good I am sure that she was slightly immunised from how annoying he was by missing a lot of the native-speaker subtleties. Perhaps your BIL’s wife is similar.
Do you keep up with him by email/WhatsApp etc- is he as relentless when he is far away?

TrappedInThatBrightMoment · 15/09/2019 18:01

And it’s time to play complaints bingo!

Print out a list of random words in a grid. Hand out a sheet to each member of the family and as BIL moans take it in turns to obviously cross out one of those words (any word). Sometimes exchange little comments “lucky!” Or “another on the diagonal ”

And then towards the end of the evening , one of you should jump up and shout “bingo!”

When a throughly confused BIL asks what’s going on, just reply ... just a little family game

(Important note, delete the play slips after the game is complete.)

PancakeAndKeith · 15/09/2019 18:02

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

Does he not have his own clothes?
Why is he staying with you?

Fluffycloudland77 · 15/09/2019 18:04

His poor wife though.

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