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to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?

629 replies

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 15:50

Amazon Prime Video doesn’t have the new Quentin Tarantino film that has just come out at the cinema. Ergo Amazon Prime is a waste of money.

The shower screen in the guest bathroom has a stationary rather than hinged shower screen.

That someone used the loo in the middle of the night and he could hear them flush - his bedroom door was 3/4 open.

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

The Thai restaurant sent us too many prawn crackers. They sent an appropriate amount for the number of people, actually.

My deodorant is blue. And what?

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

His hair was still in the shower in his en suite when he went back to use it the next day.

The towels I put out for him are white.

Our front gate is too squeaky.

The planes overhead are too low.

We have too many rugs.

He can hear traffic when in the garden.

Our dogs won’t cuddle him.

Our children wear shorts.

The settings of the seats in the car we lent him weren’t to his liking.

He doesn’t like the preset radio stations on our car radio.

My DH (his brother) “doesn’t wear a hat”??????

We don’t have his very specific music taste available to him on vinyl, although we did think to search out appropriate Spotify playlists for him but “that’s not quite the same authenticity”.

The local swimming pool (in a large city) keeps “provincial, British hours”.

Microwave steamers are “excessive gadgets”. Then 30 minutes later, “I suppose you could steam veg in your steamer, have you thought of that?” No shit!

None of the 3 duvets we offered him were suitable.

I use my inhaler too frequently.

Why do I have rosehip oil in the bathroom, it’s of no use to anyone.

Confused HmmAngry

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Mummyto2munchkins · 20/09/2019 08:19

Any updates this morning OP, did the sun rise too early for BIL?

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Fuckedoff1 · 20/09/2019 08:35

Anyone who didn't get pp's comment on the scotch egg maybe being a fat ball, there's a thread on MN classics that is hilarious. The kids had been making fat balls for the birds and Mum put them in the fridge to set and Dad thought they were artisan scotch eggs and ate one. Well worth a read

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BanKittenHeels · 20/09/2019 10:06
  • Walked in on me doing yoga “I see leggings are still in style in England”


  • Too much art on the stairs


  • Porridge is overrated (as I was serving porridge to the DCs)


  • Lamps are pretentious “I noticed you weren’t using overhead lighting” yep because I was neither waiting for a taxi to take me to the airport nor is it Christmas morning.


  • Toothpaste in his en suite is too flavoursome


  • Can’t believe we listen to the radio in the morning.


  • Antiques are overrated.
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theoriginalmadambee · 20/09/2019 10:30

OMG the guest that keeps on giving 😂.
I wouldn't be able to keep it civil, soo hope you and your dh can laugh about it.

You don't have to answer, but I really feel for his wife.
I'm kind of hoping she is a tough cookie? Or that they agree on moaning and not a submissive one, he pesters.

Have a lovely day, I will be here if you need any 'disposal' advice 😉.

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BanKittenHeels · 20/09/2019 10:43

His wife is a fiery South American woman, I don’t think he would dare cross her.

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justilou1 · 20/09/2019 10:54

She is going to one day stab him in the kidneys....

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yabadabadontdoit · 20/09/2019 11:01

Just wanted to say thank you OP. I’ve had a crap week but this thread has made me smile every day.

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theoriginalmadambee · 20/09/2019 11:06

Relieved to hear that OP, thanks.

Let's hope not justilou, he is probably all meak and cuddly when in surroundings of his own choosing, especially if he has a wife, who doesn't pander to his every whim.

OP are you absolutely 100% sure your dh is not like this when out? I wouldn't be able to stop myself from looking for signs 😁.

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BanKittenHeels · 20/09/2019 11:10

God no, my DH is in no way, shape or form like this.
I did worry for a bit when I first got to know what BIL was like and asked everyone DH went our with or stayed with if he was a similar buffoon but nope DH has always been described as “a solid bloke”, “helpful” and “hilarious”. He’s the kind of house guest who brings wine, takes you out to dinner, strips the bed and then asks if you need any big jobs or errands doing before leaving.

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theoriginalmadambee · 20/09/2019 11:25

Consider yourself the lucky one. Suspect you do already 😀.

My dh's BIL turned 50 and immediately started up similar behavior to yours. Latest visit he had all sorts of stealth comments. When he got to 'and your lawn needs mowing', I told him where the lawn mower was and get on with it. Fastest back track ever.

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/09/2019 14:54

So has he always been like this or only since he and your DH were no longer living in the same house?
I'd have been hard pushed not to stick his head down the loo if we'd been growing up together and he was like this!

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HerRoyalFattyness · 20/09/2019 15:34

Do you reckon he saves all his moaning for when his wife isn't around? Perhaps he is too afraid to moan in front of her, so takes great pleasure in being alone for a few days! Grin

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BanKittenHeels · 20/09/2019 15:46

According to DH he has always been like this and as a child once complained about the atmosphere in a restaurant. Grin

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Disfordarkchocolate · 20/09/2019 15:52

I'd love to know his reaction to so many random people finding him funny. Well, I find him funny but I think he'd be very hard work as a houseguest unless you have the same attitude as the OP.

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/09/2019 17:04

Grin
But I'm surprised he didn't get told off for it by his parents - or maybe he did but it never stopped him and they all decided it's "just his way".

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BanKittenHeels · 20/09/2019 18:43

I suspect they just thought he was a bit of a precocious child and instilled lots of other good values and morals in him but never tackled that, hoping it would turn into a questioning and intelligent mind.

He has just been complaining that we’ve gone too far in having two dishwashers (installed by the previous owner and frankly the only thing we kept during our renovations because it’s the work of a genius, the level of which I can only aspire to) but in the next breath “how do you manage to keep up with the housework with so many kids?” 🙄😆

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Interestedwoman · 20/09/2019 19:05

Not unreasonable at all- he sounds a bit autistic or something, overly rigid and a bit tactless.

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iklboo · 20/09/2019 19:36

RTFT - The BIL is not autistic.

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LemonBreeland · 20/09/2019 21:18

This is one of the funniest threads I've ever read. You couldn't make shit like this up.

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RandomMess · 20/09/2019 21:23

Is it going to be another year until his next visit? Could you phone him up sometimes so you can add to the thread?

He is hilarious!!!

BTW I have long desired 2 dishwashers, gutted when I couldn't manage to fit 2 in the current house.

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dollydaydream114 · 20/09/2019 21:41

According to DH he has always been like this and as a child once complained about the atmosphere in a restaurant.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh god, I can get never tired of hearing about this man. I feel like you owe it to us to invite him at least once month just to cheer us all up with anecdotes about him.

By contrast, your DH sounds absolutely lovely. It's like all that was good in the family genes got absorbed by your DH and BIL is a bit like an evil twin. Amazing.

My dad used to be a great house guest (I mean, we invited my parents for Christmas once and got up on Boxing Day to find he'd been pottering about in the night unable to sleep and had used that time designing, drawing up plans for and making a list of items he needed from B&Q to install a really ingenious shelving solution to save us loads of space in our tiny kitchen) but in recent years has become grumpy and demanding due to Parkinson's disease affecting his personality. Among his complaints on his last visit were that our sofa was the wrong height, our secateurs are not his favourite type, the spare room is at the front of the house and not the back (unclear on why that matters) and someone looked at him in a way he didn't like in the toilets of the restaurant we went to. But honestly, he's got absolutely nothing on your BIL. This is giving me a valuable sense of perspective!

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theoriginalmadambee · 20/09/2019 21:46

Oh my, I think my dh is infected. Just told him about the two dishwashers, his reply 'why? What would you use the second one for?' 😢

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MitziK · 20/09/2019 21:49

If he has problems with two dishwashers, I suppose Moaning Myrtle is volunteering to do all the washing up, then?


Plants are great. They provide great cover for any recently disturbed soil in a plot.

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theoriginalmadambee · 20/09/2019 22:45

Ha @MitziK the dishwasher is actually the only appliance in the kitchen he can find and he even loads it. Last time he was told to cook, dd and I were sick for four days. I suspect he got the recipe from 'how to make your wife cook and do the washing'.

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GCAcademic · 20/09/2019 22:47

This thread is more entertaining than anything on the telly at the moment.

Sorry OP, but I hope he stays longer.

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