to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?

[BanKittenHeels]

Amazon Prime Video doesn’t have the new Quentin Tarantino film that has just come out at the cinema. Ergo Amazon Prime is a waste of money.

The shower screen in the guest bathroom has a stationary rather than hinged shower screen.

That someone used the loo in the middle of the night and he could hear them flush - his bedroom door was 3/4 open.

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

The Thai restaurant sent us too many prawn crackers. They sent an appropriate amount for the number of people, actually.

My deodorant is blue. And what?

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

His hair was still in the shower in his en suite when he went back to use it the next day.

The towels I put out for him are white.

Our front gate is too squeaky.

The planes overhead are too low.

We have too many rugs.

He can hear traffic when in the garden.

Our dogs won’t cuddle him.

Our children wear shorts.

The settings of the seats in the car we lent him weren’t to his liking.

He doesn’t like the preset radio stations on our car radio.

My DH (his brother) “doesn’t wear a hat”??????

We don’t have his very specific music taste available to him on vinyl, although we did think to search out appropriate Spotify playlists for him but “that’s not quite the same authenticity”.

The local swimming pool (in a large city) keeps “provincial, British hours”.

Microwave steamers are “excessive gadgets”. Then 30 minutes later, “I suppose you could steam veg in your steamer, have you thought of that?” No shit!

None of the 3 duvets we offered him were suitable.

I use my inhaler too frequently.

Why do I have rosehip oil in the bathroom, it’s of no use to anyone.

[BruceAndNosh]

Anybody predict that lime instead of lemon is unacceptable?

[RandomMess]

His comments are legend!!! Hope it's not too long until he comes back...

[Motherinlawsdung]

Slice of parsnip anyone?

[theoriginalmadambee]

Just say, it's good for you dear

[Whoopstheregomyinsides]

Up the ante with cucumber

[MitziK]

Good - because it disguises the taste of the strychnine I've slipped in there as well...

[YoureAllABunchOfBastards]

For a moment I thought you might be married to my friend, as his brother is a pompous twat.

He stayed here for DH's stag do and left a shoe behind. It was a cheap and nasty black lace up. Fuck me, the amount of time he spent moaning about it...I was tempted to lob it at his head during the wedding speeches

[Coffeeandchocolate9]

Please, please cram the next one with as much pretentiousness as you can - whole peppercorns, random fresh herbs, parsnip curl, you name it!

[BanKittenHeels]

I’m deliberating between sticking either a Crunchie, my (blue) deodorant or a stick of Brighton rock that’s been knocking around the messy kitchen drawer since 2017, into the next one.

[JustOneLastThing]

You should give him the questionnaire fro the end of 'Four in a bed' when he's about to leave

[theoriginalmadambee]

😁 if any hairs left in the shower, they would be quite decorative.

[Grambler]

Fool him with a carrot.

[Coffeeandchocolate9]

I vote Brighton rock!

[360eyes]

What about a garnish of deep fried cocktoaches on a stick. Say it's traditional Thai street gin.

[justilou1]

I vote you run the Brighton Rock under the warm tap for a couple of seconds to make it extra sticky, use it to clean the hairs out of his shower and then pop that in his next G&T and claim it’s a “Fancy London Swizzle Stick”.

[BanKittenHeels]

“Too many people have plants these days”.

[nonevernotever]

The thread that really does keep giving. Another vote for Brighton rock.

[theoriginalmadambee]

Well, it saves a lot of money growing your own weed 😇.

[unwravellingagain]

brisket ordered here as well. how many cloves of garlic do you reckon.

Garlic might go well in his next gin, actually

[Coffeeandchocolate9]

Damn those oxygen-givers, cleaning our air, making our houses pretty!

[justilou1]

Hmmm..... without oxygen, he can’t complain. Buy some more!

[saraclara]

Ha! I'm loving this thread.

And I suspect, OP, that if you're going through a family crisis, this is the just the sort of person you need around. in tough times, it's good to have something/someone ridiculous to focus on and chortle.

[64sNewName]

Nominated for Classics (I know I’m not the first).

The plants remark

[NewMe2019]

Ask him to play a game OP, 'lets name 5 things we are feeling positive about' 😁. He'll probably combust on the spot at the mere thought of it.

[NewAndImprovedNorks]

I have had a busy day but this is the highlight.
Please banki (do you like that? I am in two minds) keep us loyal fans up to date