Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?

629 replies

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 15:50

Amazon Prime Video doesn’t have the new Quentin Tarantino film that has just come out at the cinema. Ergo Amazon Prime is a waste of money.

The shower screen in the guest bathroom has a stationary rather than hinged shower screen.

That someone used the loo in the middle of the night and he could hear them flush - his bedroom door was 3/4 open.

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

The Thai restaurant sent us too many prawn crackers. They sent an appropriate amount for the number of people, actually.

My deodorant is blue. And what?

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

His hair was still in the shower in his en suite when he went back to use it the next day.

The towels I put out for him are white.

Our front gate is too squeaky.

The planes overhead are too low.

We have too many rugs.

He can hear traffic when in the garden.

Our dogs won’t cuddle him.

Our children wear shorts.

The settings of the seats in the car we lent him weren’t to his liking.

He doesn’t like the preset radio stations on our car radio.

My DH (his brother) “doesn’t wear a hat”??????

We don’t have his very specific music taste available to him on vinyl, although we did think to search out appropriate Spotify playlists for him but “that’s not quite the same authenticity”.

The local swimming pool (in a large city) keeps “provincial, British hours”.

Microwave steamers are “excessive gadgets”. Then 30 minutes later, “I suppose you could steam veg in your steamer, have you thought of that?” No shit!

None of the 3 duvets we offered him were suitable.

I use my inhaler too frequently.

Why do I have rosehip oil in the bathroom, it’s of no use to anyone.

Confused HmmAngry

OP posts:
Attitude84 · 16/09/2019 17:59

I’d have told him to fuck off on his first day. Nope. None of that shit.

Gilld69 · 16/09/2019 17:59

Im exhausted just reading, thank god I dont have to live it x

EllenMP · 16/09/2019 18:00

Surely this has gotten to the point where you just openly laugh at him, with husband and children?

Scotland32 · 16/09/2019 18:02

Print out your hilarious list, put it in an envelope with a comp slip saying “Did you realise before right now that you are such a miserable human being?” Hand it to him with a huge smile when he leaves and tell him it’s a farewell card he’s not allowed to open until he gets home... I doubt he’ll darken your door again. Except maybe to tell you that you should use copy paper with a higher GSM!

Pinkginhelps · 16/09/2019 18:07

He's clearly bonkers..I suggest you respond to every whinge with a big, smiley "charmed, I'm sure" and carry on as normal.

Oakmaiden · 16/09/2019 18:08

I nominate this for Mumsnet Classics - how do we do that anyone?!

Report the post and then in the explanation say you are nominating it for classics...

Wolfcub · 16/09/2019 18:11

The road was too wet. Brilliant. He clearly has no self awareness. You’ve definitely brightened my day with his antics op

MitziK · 16/09/2019 18:13

Hope you're on good terms with his lovely wife, as the last thing you need is for her to get used to not having Moaning Myrtle around her and divorcing him.

ArDali1 · 16/09/2019 18:13

How dare you have a stair gate, how dare you make your kids wear shorts, How dare you give him white towels.
He would be out of my house after an hour.
"sorry our house is not how you want it to be. Here's a local b&b/hotel" BYE

NewAndImprovedNorks · 16/09/2019 18:13

Have been in ceases here.
EXCELLENT work OP, most excellent work
Thank you

NewAndImprovedNorks · 16/09/2019 18:13

*CREASES

Stupid autocarrot

PommePoire · 16/09/2019 18:14

I've enjoyed this thread not only because BanKittenHeels you have a very dead pan funny way of writing, but also because you have made the choice to be the better person, accepting DBIL's bonkers whinging as a kind of curiosity that you're prepared to rise above rather than getting riled. It's nice that you said he's a good uncle and he's been good to you and DH in the past.

The advocacy for wasp-rights and wasp-tolerance has been heartening and educational too.

Patroclus I had no idea goats eating hats or rather not eating them, was a thing, I can only report what I saw! Fixatedly-loyal, roof climbing goats who have 'anger issues' clearly are a thing though! Thanks for that link.

SDTG I really really hope your DS fulfils his ambition to be a goat owner and that your DH will pay out - with interest! Just make sure DS doesn't leave his goat alone with a laden washing line.

Jaxhog · 16/09/2019 18:16

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

And it's “Really inconvenient” next time he wants to stay. Every. Time.

Gillian1980 · 16/09/2019 18:17

Haha, bloody hell, he sounds really annoying!

If it were my db I’d laugh at him and say “bloody hell, do you do anything but moan?!”

If it went on I’d tell him that if it was so unsatisfactory staying then he could always book a hotel.

VerbenaGirl · 16/09/2019 18:21

This is pure Mumsnet gold! He sounds like a treasure. Thanks for sharing OP and well done on your very healthy attitude in the face of adversity.

Luxplus · 16/09/2019 18:23

Sounds like my mil - a complainer all day long. She's actually a really nice person, but can find a way to complain about everything thats not like home. She's originally from an Asian country and very much set of that way being the only way. When we were house hunting she criticized pretty much every area we looked at for "being crowed with foreigners" oh the irony Grin

Solitarycaddis · 16/09/2019 18:25

"Whereas my home and facilities can potentially be improved, you will always remain an intolerable moan merchant"

myrtleWilson · 16/09/2019 18:26

is anyone wondering what would happen if OPs BIL and Narked ex ever met?
I think it would either jolt one of them into being insufferably positive about everything OR it would be like opening the Hellmouth in Buffy and we'd be over run with moaning vampires... Grin

Gillian1980 · 16/09/2019 18:29

Bil is coming to stay on weds for 3 nights.... I’m looking forward to it as he’s super helpful and the kids love having him here and are really well behaved for him!

PommePoire · 16/09/2019 18:30

I'm also here for the fantastic community spirit shown by so many MNs keen to volunteer for homicide and body disposal in the event that it all gets too much for BanKittenHeels after all and/or DBIL fails to #respectthebrisket

Mummyto2munchkins · 16/09/2019 18:32

Oh OP, you should totally write a book on him!

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 16/09/2019 18:36

OP you are a saint!

360eyes · 16/09/2019 18:37

OP, how about you do a piss take of those shit quotes you get on calendars and bits of driftwood (the unimaginative gift shop shite) except you can change the quotes for his grumbles instead, or maybe "life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about following it around so you have something to whine about". Ideal christmas gift?

Drabarni · 16/09/2019 18:42

Present him with a list of all his moans and a medal for his wife. Grin

Pollywollydolly · 16/09/2019 18:47

If you pop over to the Extension building thread in Property section, I'm sure you find someone with foundations already dug, just waiting to be filled....

Sorry - totally off topic but I'm sooo excited! I had no idea there was an extensions building thread. We really need help with our extension.

Brilliant thread by the way!