Aibu to ask for the most "WTF" complaints

[HouseholdPlantMurderer]

You have ever received?

I will start. Not the most ridiculous one, but in my top 10.
Woman demanding that I check in the back for a certain colour of a dress she wanted otherwise she will have me fired. After 5 minutes of her moaning she can't get it anywhere and me trying to explain that it's because it's not even made in the colour she wants, I went. I needed a toilet anyway 🙈

A customer ordered spicy italian sub. It's on a picture. It has a description there, he watched me to put pepperoni and salami in. Came back few minutes later FUMING that it's not vegetarian.... Sent a complaint to a head office about it too.

Cockadoodledooo Your post has just reminded me of when 'cash back' first began. My elderly mother used to go food shopping with my cousin, and at the supermarket checkout, she'd heard the cashier asking customers if they wanted cashback.
When my mother was telling me about this, she said "that's good of them, isn't it?". She thought they gave you £50 out of the goodness of their hearts.

I used to work for an opticians chain which had two branches in the same shopping centre (about a 30 second walk between the two, straight ahead, and it's on your right...). We very often got people arriving for appointments at the wrong branch (easy mistake) and would direct them to the correct place and ring the other store to let them know they were on their way.
One time a lady arrived at our branch and her appointment was actually at the other branch. She had booked her appointment online, but apparently it was our fault that we weren't the branch she had chosen. We gave her the directions, telling her we would let them know she was on her way so they didn't think she was late for her appointment.
She arrived back 5 minutes later Fing and blinding because "the other branch doesn't exist" and she'd "been fucking walking around for 15 minutes trying to find the fucking place". It was apparently completely unacceptable that we couldn't see her for her appointment at our branch (even though we were fully-booked)... She shouted at the top her lungs for a good 5 minutes before the manager who had swooped in could get a word in. She took the lady down to the other store herself and told her if she ever swore at any of her staff again she would be asked never to come back to either branch.

I was once waiting for my car which was in for a service and heard another couple absolutely kick off at a staff member who came to let them know their car hadn't passed its MOT because a part was faulty and they had ordered it in but it would take two days to arrive. Said couple were outraged that the particular part of the vehicle hadn't been checked earlier on in the day so they could have tried to source the part elsewhere, and found it disgusting that the garage didn't have the part in in the first place. I was sat there thinking, how would the garage know to look at that particular part of the car first, what if they'd looked at that and it was fine and another part of the car wasn't when they checked that later... Also, considering how many parts a car is made up of... Surely it's not surprising that they have to order stuff in sometimes? People really are ridiculous.
I sympathised with the staff and they brought me a hot chocolate.

My OH works in customer services and they often get complaints from customers who chose standard delivery for orders and then are outraged that their missing package can't be tracked...

This are just wonderful!

I was complained about once by a family I babysat for at a local hotel. I knew I'd be there until midnight so I needed to eat after their little boy was in bed. It was an apartment hotel so there was a microwave where I heated up my ready meal (one of those instant sachets of pasta and a pot of tomato stir in stuff) and decanted it into a bowl and used one of the room-provided forks to eat it with. I washed the bowl and fork and left them on the draining board as I couldn't find a teatowel. This was apparently the crime of the century - the family complained to the manager about me! The manager actually bothered to ring me at home and tell me off for it, saying I shouldn't have put the packaging from the pasta sachet in their kitchen bin either!! I'd been working for the hotel for a couple of years without complaint, including having babysat that particular child several times before as well. His parents always left so early in the evening I brought toys and story books along as well to make sure he had lots of fun before bedtime, and I was quite bonded with him, so it seemed particularity unfair they should bitch about me.

So many, too many to remember. Some of the most common ones-

• customers ringing the shop to make a complaint and after checking cctv and whatnot, ringing them back and them realising it was a different shop (surely you'd check before ringing and making a fool of yourself?)
• for some reason, we still sell 10p bags alongside 20p and £1 bags for life (petrol garage shop). Occasionally, we run out of the 10p ones. Customers going absolutely mental at having to pay for a 20p bag for their Lucozade and Cadbury caramel bar to go in. Like honestly, either pay for the bag or carry it. Like every other shop.
• complaining about the price of something and pretending it says it was cheaper. Obviously if the wrong shelf edge label has been left on then we'd sell it to them at that price, but it's maddening when it's an item like a pre packaged steak which literally has "£7" on the item, on the label and then a huge bus stop label also stating £7. It was never down as two for £5 or whatever you've made up! Stop being cheap!

I briefly worked for Three and a man told me it's like we just give these contract to people and expect them to manage it alone... because he ran up a bill of £££ calling Australia... well yes you do have to manage your own phone account funnily you twat.

I have had to deal with several complaints from families that their child wasn't first on the operating list. "They are a child they shouldn't have to wait"

I work in a children's hospital.

All the patients are children. They can't all go first.

Toooooo many people being put through to you from someone else and having a massive go that you’re still the wrong person!

l think l may have posted this one before, but l think it's worth repeating. Years ago my mother got it into her head that she should have a "carbon myoxide (monoxide) detector." So she asked her handyman, who was actually a retired builder but who kept on a small group of 'old faithful' customers and did odd jobs for them when needed.
This man got the detector, and fitted it in the living room for her. lt was a 'wired to the mains' one, not a battery affair.
After a few days she rang me saying there was something wrong with it, it kept going off every day at "teatime" (approx. 5pm). l thought that was odd, so l suggested she ring him and get him to check it for her.
So this poor man came back, checked it - fine. So he dismantled the gas fire which was about 3' from it, and the only likely source of carbon monoxide. The fire was fine too. He was totally bemused. He said he couldn't understand why it was going off, and very generously offered to pay half to replace it as he couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. Which he did.
Fast forward a few days, and l visit my mother. Whereupon she confesses all. While she'd been dusting, she knocked a small analogue travel clock off the side table which was directly underneath where the detector was situated.
When she picked it up from the floor, she noticed that the alarm on the clock was actually set at 5 o'clock. Being analogue, that meant the alarm had been going off at 5 o'clock every day. At 5am, when she was in bed upstairs, and didn't hear it. But she was in the room when the alarm went off at 5pm, and had mistaken it for the carbon monoxide detector.
Which meant that the poor man had not only spent time checking the detector, dismantling, checking and reassembling the gas fire, but he'd also paid half towards the new detector, and fitted it free of charge.
l don't know if she ever told him, but if l saw him when l was out and about l used to avoid him. l couldn't face him.

You just have to wonder how some of these people manage to hold down jobs, have friends and relationships if they're really that easily offended. Or is it just that they like to pick on people they think can't fight back because they're supposed to be polite to customers?

I had a bank write to me once, warning me if I didn't pay my bank loan instalments, they'd close my account, it could affect my credit rating etc. I wrote back asking them (paraphrasing here) wtf they were talking about as I didnt have a loan. After a month of not hearing back, I wrote again to close my account. Funnily enough, they responded to that letter and I received a cheque for my balance within a couple of days! Nowadays, I'd be in the bank at 9.30am the next working day demanding to see the manager immediately.

I used to work in a bra shop. One day I fitted a woman who was a 36B. She informed me I was wrong and she had to be a 34D. After remeasuring and showing her how well the 36B fitted, she demanded to see the manager who also told her I was right. She then stormed out and said we were lying.

I used to work in a 2 storey discounted book store with a high turnover of stock. We used to move the books around on shelves and tables constantly, to make sure the amount of books fit the space they were in and new stock could be added to the gaps. On a pretty much weekly basis someone would come in and ask where the book in the middle of certain table had gone as there were loads x days/weeks ago. When I tried to help by asking for further details such as author or title or even part of one of those things they would say something along the lines of that they don't remember but it was blue/had a flower on the cover/etc, then get really annoyed that I didn't know what book it was! They could be really awful. We also occasionally had a small amount of discounted children's toys, such as engines from Thomas the Tank and woe betide me if someone saw them, came back to buy a couple of weeks later and we had dared to sell them all! We had a very generous policy in terms of holding on to things for people too, so it's not like they couldn't have asked for something to be saved for them until they could pay.

Still makes me giggle just thinking about it. I was working in the billing department for a utility company. The customer had three different sites and for the first year, as per the customer request, all 3 sites was listed on the same invoice. When the annual renewal came up, the bill is automatically generated and emailed to the customer.

Customer did not pay bill and I gave her a call to see if she wants service to be continued. She requested that each site gets billed separately, I immediately processed credit and re-issued separate invoices. Amended the billing system to automatically do the same again for the next year's bill. Took about half an hour to get all sorted an emailed off to her. She did not pay again, so I call her again a week later.

She had changed her mind and wanted me to change it back to the way it was as (this was her exact words) On the first invoice you have charged me only one Vat, but now that it is split up you are charging me three VATs!

I had to patiently explain that the amount were axactly the same only it was split in 3. I was gobsmacked as this was the head of a very successful company 😵😵

I had a bloke once complain that he had been overcharged by half a penny! I was working in the fuel station at my local Tesco and let's say petrol was 99.9p a litre. He said when he added it up we had overcharged him. I just gave him a penny out of the till and sent him on his way.

Had to name change for this one...

I manage a kids leisure activity, there's lots of classes on at the same time, therefore lots of different coaches.

I once had a customer complaining about how horrible one of the coaches was while at the EXACT same time, another customer was telling the other receptionist that the coach was amazing and their child wouldn't go with anyone else.

Not the weirdest complaint ever but definitely a 'WTF' moment

One of my most memorable.

A customer called to complain about their holiday to Goa. Goa was a disgrace apparently, because everything wasn’t done like it was in the UK and some facilities were positively third world. I explained that in developing nations such as India some facilities aren’t the same as here in the UK.

India? India? What’s was I? Fucking stupid. He’d not been to India. He’d been to Goa!

Yes he did write a complaint in about me.

Supermarket.

Various products on offer for 2 for £2, individual prices between 90p and £1.50 (so if you buy a 90p product and a £1.30 product then it's £2). Customer buys two 90p products which are therefore £1.80. Stands and argues that it should be £2, I explain over and over again that £1.80 is less than £2. I eventually take the £2 and stick 20p in the charity tin.

We closed at 9pm on Christmas Eve, people were knocking on the door at 10 past 9 and screaming that I had ruined Christmas.

Customer returns an off chicken, it smelled VILE. Customer gives me a receipt which shows she had bought the chicken at a reduced price (so going out of date that day or the day after) TWO WEEKS previously and had kept it in her fridge since.

Customer phoned up the complaints line to say that a colleague had refused to serve alcohol to her 17 year old son. Colleague apparently knew the family and knew that her son was a good boy so should have just sold the alcohol to him.

When I was working in health insurance. We received a claim pack from a consultant. Unfortunately, he had written the incorrect procedure code on the claim form. We informed him of this and could he please submit another claim form with the correct code.

This began a stream of outraged phonecalls and emails as to why the hell should he do something so time-consuming and difficult and wouldn't it be easier if we just swapped around our procedure codes so that it would now match the code that he'd sent in to us.

Working in customer services, someone emailed in to complain that their fake tan had faded. They thought that the '12M' use-by recommendation actually meant that the fake tan should last for 12 months after application...!

I have had exactly this response in a shoe shop, with the exact same complaint so it’s clearly “a thing”! 😡

Again at fuel station. Customer pulls up to get fuel, radio blaring loudly. I ask him to turn it off as it could cause a spark. He sighs very loudly and says 'you don't know anything do you? It's not running off the ignition, it's running off the battery' (with a 'stupid woman' eyeroll) Then I asked him how he thought a battery worked...

Or the Italian gentleman who yelled at me for not turning the pump on till he got off his mobile phone... Apparently we are the only fuel station in Britain to be so ridiculous, it should be signed at the pump if it's such a big deal (it was signed, clearly), and how could we claim it could be a hazard when we had electric power in the store (10 foot from the pumps, insulated and through a brick wall...)

Don't even start me on my other jobs.

I hate people.

I used to work in customer services, unfortunately our phone number was one or two digits different to the number people would call when they were in arrears for HSBC mortgages.

Occasionally people rang up, usually quite upset and we would explain they had the wrong number and re-dial for them.

On one occasion I had a VERY angry man on the phone who would not listen when I told him I was not his bank. Instead he shouted over me "YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME UNTIL I HAVE STOPPED TALKING, YOU WILL NOT SAY A WORD UNTIL I AM DONE, DO YOU F#%KING UNDER STAND ME?!?!"

"Yes" I said

On and on he went about how awful we were, taking his money, how he was not paying any more how we were all greedy and massive idiots and have no compassion. This went on for about 5-10 minutes. I did not say a word.

When he stopped talking I said "I'm sorry sir, you're speaking with XYZ company, I'm afraid you have the wrong number."

"YOU EFFING C#%T!!" And hung up

Lovely

Used to work in a photo developing shop. Had a customer complain that his wife had a ladder in her tights in a photo that she hadn’t had when it was taken.

Not a complaint, but I was working PT in Asda just before the Millenium, so people were stocking up for parties. The number of people wondering why we'd sold out of dips etc.by 3pm was unbelievable. Like they were the only ones having a party!

My favourite was the tourist who came in very indignant and asked whose stupid idea it was to build the cathedral at the top of a hill

Effing 11th Century Archbishop! What was he thinking?