I'm totally unreasonable. DH putting on a 'ill voice'.

[ThirdChildFourthPile]

I know, I know I'm being unreasonable. And I've told myself a million times but it's still winding me up. I'm actually avoiding him because of it.

I'm 7 months pregnant, we have two kids.
He had a vasectomy today so I'm juggling the kids and uni and hospital appointments with this baby while he rests his testicals.
This, I have no problem with at all. It's been a long time coming! And the more he rests now, the better he will heal.

But the ill voice he is putting on is like nails down a black board.
He used to do it years ago, I haven't heard him 'put on' a voice in years. He used to put on this faint, wobbly voice whenever he had any ache or pain or cold. My sympathy used to instantly shrivel up.

Now he's putting on this small, high pitched little boy voice and it grates on my so much.
It's like pouring salt on my sympathy for his testicals. I really wish he wouldn't do it!

So I need to get it out here in this safe space where I can name change and move on.

[SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad]

Come on MNHQ - there's a lot of us here who'd like to see this in Classics

[Miscible]

Lakie, your ex reminds me of friend's husband who inevitably insisted he had any and every illness that anyone else had. We treasure the way he claimed to have terrible Rigor Mortis the day we (deliberately) talked about it in his hearing.

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

I don’t believe for one minute that Brian Blessed succumbs to petty things like being ill.

Thirdchildfourthpile How is he today? Has he survived?

Thankfully DH doesn’t do this (he knows I’m a heartless bitch). But I’d play men like this at their own game - they put on a pathetic falsetto? I’d answer everything back to them sung in various operatic tones and just claim you’re joining in and channelling your inner baritone

[kaytee87]

God I'm so glad my dh doesn't do this. I suspect I might a bit though 

[kaytee87]

Oh I remembered one DH complained of a headache when I was about 20 hours into a back to back labour, during a long transition stage. Left the Labour room to get some painkillers 
He also went for a nap while I was in labour.

[SugarandVinegar]

Freddie - Are you sure he wasn’t castrated ?

[UnnecessaryFennel]

Schadenfreude you are, of course, entirely correct

[Bombaybunty]

I always ask if he has a sore throat when the I'll voice comes out. When he answers no, I tend reply, that's odd as your voice sounds strange.
A subtle way to encourage him behave like an adult!

[RomanyRoots]

I'm mean and would be telling him to stop the silly voice unless he wants to end up with it all cut off, like Bobbit.

Ask if he knows how annoying that voice used to be when he was ill, years ago.
Well this one is annoying x100.

[Cab65]

My daughters DH puts his dressing gown on as soon as he gets in from work and mostly all day at the weekend, he goes to bed regularly during the day for a few hours rest, she is pregnant with a 18 month old who gets up at 4am every day and a five year old. He’s.tired. I’d like to give him a vasectomy with a knife and fork.

[Port1ajazz]

Mine does the same and when he's "tired" !

[Juells]

I’d like to give him a vasectomy with a knife and fork.

No jury would convict you.

[anniegranny]

Am I really sick for laughing my head off at this thread ?! 😂 nearly choked on my tea when someone said a man had joined the thread 🤣

[81Byerley]

Is this the time to tell you that my ex had his vasectomy at 2pm, then went back to work as a motor mechanic straight afterwards????

[DBN1]

Nominated for Classics. Thanks for the chuckles everyone

[WhoAteAllTheDinosaurs]

Just leaving this here...

m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1625647164210321&id=130593816777&_rdr

[LornaMumsnet]

Cor, lots of classics reports for this eh - we'll move it over now.

[PtangyangkipperbangOi]

I remember when my husband went for his vasectomy. We walked into the clinic and he was the first guy of the day. There was 4 men in the waiting room looking incredibly nervous and very pale. My hubby walks into the room with me and was most offended that the doctor wouldn't let him watch the procedure. he was laughing and joking all the way through it, burst out laughing at the little hammock they made for his boys and then he was pulling his pants up and we were told we could go. We walked out the room down the corridor towards the waiting men and the cruel bastard started walking like John Wayne and whimpering while pretending to cling to my arm. All 4 of the waiting fellas went from pale to ghostly and looked like they were being lined up for execution. OH breezed from the hospital and I dropped him off to pick the kids up from school when I went to work.

But if he has a cold, he can only drink hot cordial like his mummy made it when he was a ickle boy an he likes rice pudding an The Beano an snuggly fuzzy blankie and must have the control all to hiself while he heals and that might be months as he is so sick coughs dramatically

This is why we no longer live together. Once every year was enough.

[YouTheCat]

Did they relocate his balls to his throat? That might explain the voice.

My dp never does the voice. I had to practically force him out of the house last weekend to go to the doctor. Turns out he has cellulitis in his feet. Very painful but not a murmur of complaint.

[ladydickisathingapparently]

Poor DH has been very subdued all day after reading this thread. Although he did accidentally use the expression “best blankie” to refer to his favourite little comfort blanket, then looked horrified when I leapt up and down shouting “See? SEE?!”

[KurriKurri]

Just remembered - after I had just given birth to DS (back to back baby) one of the nurses brought me in some toast on a plate, my aformentioned (now X) H, snatched the toast scoffed it and said 'oh God I needed that, I'm exhausted'.

With DD I started having huge contractions at home, very close together very quickly (she was nearly 2 weeks overdue) I'm grunting and groaning saying 'phone the hospital, tell them I'm coming in'
So he phones and I hear him say 'my wife thinks she might be in labour - not sure whether we should come in or not .......?' and I'm screaming 'think? think? I know I'm in bloody labour FFS I need to get there NOW'
I pushed DD out the minute they got me on a bed in the hospital.
DH was attended by nurses because he 'felt faint, as it's all been so quick'.

[Tommo75]

My dh wears his hood up on his top when he's ill. He has a complete unwell outfit and refuses to shower. I insist showering could make him feel better but he won't try. It's disgusting. I know illness is coming cos I can see him feeling for glands in his own neck in the days beforehand. I'd hate him to be seriously ill cos I don't know how we'd cope.

[bmbonanza]

OH's nuts looked like aubergines when he was done. He had a day off so I made him go up the ladder and chainsaw the conifers.....cant waste a day off!

[Nanalisa60]

Phone his mother and ask her to take him for a few days tell her he seems to have turned into a little boy again!! And that in your condition your cant be doing with it!! and maybe one of your kids could also go to keep him company!! Sorted!!

[SchadenfreudeUndeadified]

No jury would convict you.

Insist on a jury of your peers (us). You would not only be acquitted, but would be carried shoulder high through the streets of out fair land!