Next door are having a massive fight about google

[GingerFrogs]

Screaming and shouting and swearing.

Something about "your not even fucking signed into google"

Walls are really thin.

What's the strangest fight you've heard?

There's a very high end nursing home on the way to my work, I once witnessed two female care assistants, complete in their candy striped tops, outside the home, on the pavement, at about 8 am one morning, battering the living shit out of each other. Proper hair pulling, slapping, wrestling,they had the lot going on.

It's one of those things you drive past slowly, thinking "fuck me, there's two care assistants fighting"

No idea what it was about, but they were going at it hell for leather 🤣

I had a massive row with DH last night because I bought something I can't afford, then got cross with him for not being cross with me for buying it.

Dread to think what our neighbour must have thought with me screeching, "Why aren't you angry with me? For the love of God will you get angry with me!!!"

One of my favourites, although apparently its an urban myth which I find quite gutting

ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”

Dh and I once had an argument about who starred in Cool Hand Luke, Paul Newman or Steve MCQueen. Annoyingly I was wrong.

Not neighbours but I had a massive ding-dong with dd about her scarfing a whole huge dose of my Day Nurse on Christmas day when I'd been hoarding it with half doses until I could get more after Boxing Day

In fairness we were both pretty ill.

I used to live next door to a young couple who had a blazing row about the concept of lukewarm water. She didn't know what it was and he decided that the best way to explain it to her was to just keep on saying 'Luke. Warm.' and nothing else over and over while she got increasingly angry. He was stood in the front garden smoking a rather large spliff at the time so the whole exchange was conducted through an open window.

"it's not fucking nugget, you fucking ...nugget!"

Like other pp’s me and DH only ever argue over stupid stuff, the huge stuff we talk about and resolve.

A few Christmases ago we bought our DD’s a joint trampoline as their main present, and the plan was to put it up on Christmas Eve after they had gone to bed. Unfortunately we had a storm with really strong wind and DH went out to do it around 11.30ish cake back in and decided he couldn’t do it because of the storm. We then had a huge argument in whispered voices in our kitchen ending with me saying ‘the elves will just have to come back and do it another day then!’ at that point DH decided to leave the kitchen shaking his head at me.

Luke.Warm is so funny but that would piss me off too!

Me and DH don't argue. At all. Luckily I've had some right bellend exes and have an array of ridiculous arguments under my belt. A favourite was when a distant ex eventually refused to speak to me for a week because I wouldn't apologise for "nearly killing" him in my car.
He'd kissed someone else and I caught him, yet somehow I ended up driving him back the 50 miles to our home town. I was naturally furious (as much at my muggy self as him).

My crime?

I was doing 72mph on the motorway.

I told him I'd actually "nearly kill" him to show him the difference if he liked but I wasn't apologising for something I hadn't done.
Still feel relieved that I eventually managed to get rid of him

I once heard my NDNs having an argument after she accused him of having an affair. My favourite line of the argument was "I'm not fucking her you fuckwit, I fuck you don't I? For fucks sake - I'll fuck you every day if it's gonna keep you quiet!" I remember just laughing to myself at the thought that the whole street was listening in to an argument about their sex life!

DH once got in a right snit about a fitted sheet. He spent 45 minutes trying to get a single fitted sheet on to a double mattress then lost his rag declaring that I had 'broken' the sheet. He had the mattress nearly folded in two (I still don't know who he managed it) trying to get the thing to go on. Apparently me pissing myself laughing about it wasn't helpful.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes

Misogyny. The coup de grace was that, as a woman, I hated Trump more because of his attitude and actions against women. I may have directed the phrase "middle class, entitled, white male privilege" in DH's direction, too. Kinda below the belt as he's a pretty egalitarian guy. But all's fair in love and politics.

Ohhhh I used to have the BEST neighbours for fighting. We were on the 5th floor of a block and this couple was on the 6th, directly above us. They were both male but had surprisingly screechy voices when they got going, and amazing stamina! Nine times out of ten one of them would start throwing the other one's clothes off the balcony. Then after much screaming and shouting one of them would go to gather the clothes and scream from the ground up 6 floors to the one still in the flat. One of our neighbours once poured water onto the guy on the ground which seriously did not de-escalate things.

Luke.Warm is so funny but that would piss me off too!

Oh definitely!

I didn't have kid at the time, by the way, so said neighbours were hugely entertaining. Now I'd call the police.

My next door neighbours ex wife was brilliantly entertaining during arguments. Could never hear the husband though.

Classics include:

You've been looking at porn on my laptop

And

You've raped my soul and stolen my essence.

She was a certified white witch of Avalon and he is a sex addict which may explain a lot.

Across I didn't want to assume, but that's precisely how I won the same argument. I've been using the phrase, 'middle-aged, middle class privileged white men' a lot over the last few days as well. And not flatteringly.

My close-to middle-age, middle class, privileged, white DH knows the spirit/parties to which it's directed though .

I just know I'd be on expensive cracker woman's side

Until DH and I grew up mostly me actually we used to have ridiculous rows about random topics on holiday. Once, in a bar in a fairly remote area of Laos, we had the worst row we've ever had about the best place in the world to live in the case of the breakdown of civilisation/general apocalypse. I ended up screaming at him in front of the whole bar, "You're an arrogant twat who think he knows everything but you know fuck all about soil fertility and I bet you've never even HEARD of an alluvial flow!" I stormed out and was convinced we were over, but we recovered, and we've never drunk rice wine again.

I came across two young ladies having a contretemps in the corridor in the school where I teach. One shouted at the other "See you? You're a fucking skip wi' eyebrows". What that actual? 😬

These are brilliant.If me and dh need to argue I make him do it in the bathroom as it's the only room the neighbours can't here

Hear not here

I once had an extremely heated debate with one of my best friends at a New Year’s Eve party about whether Calamity Jane was singing about the Black Hills of Dakota or the Green Hills of Wyoming. Mortified to later discover that he was right and I was wrong.

Biggest argument I have had was with my boyfriend of 4 years, huge slanging match over the correct way to cut up sprouts. We broke up over (the final straw).

Best argument I ever heard was a couple boarding a plane, back in the day where you could sit where you wanted. She wanted to be near the front, him at the back, and it went on and on mid aisle until he shouted "well, have you EVER seen a fucking plane fly into a mountain backwards?"