Next door are having a massive fight about google

[GingerFrogs]

Screaming and shouting and swearing.

Something about "your not even fucking signed into google"

Walls are really thin.

What's the strangest fight you've heard?

I gave DH hell last week for half an hour because he hadn't talked to the neighbours about the thing he'd promised to talk to them about - he agreed to do it because I have got things wrong with them in the past and he now has the role of peacemaker. It culminated in him claiming that 2 weeks (the period of notice we agreed to give them for some work were getting done) was actually quite a vague term, and that it could easily have meant the same as 4 days (the amount of time left until said work would be done).

I was just you what mate? It's a weird mix of gaslighting and a fucking alternative reality in this house sometimes.

I become absolutely frozen and petrified when I hear raised voices from neighbouring houses as I was in a relationship with someone who could not have any argument without it ending in breaking things or hurting me, and I often wonder now why neighbours didn't call the police. There is no way they could not have heard.
I am safe now but would urge anyone who is worried when they hear a violent row to please, please call the police.

DH and I had an argument a couple of months ago as I wanted him to get the fan out the loft so I could sleep and he said he would get it at half time.
I wanted it right that second.
He said no.

So I turned off the tv and hid the remote.
He put the football on his phone and I tried to turn that off so he went in the garden.

I closed the door and locked him out and went upstairs.

He claimed - yes climbed - over the utility room extension and started incessantly ringing the bell. So I smugly unplugged it.

He was banging on the door for a good few mins before I left him back in. God knows what the neighbours must have thought.

In my defence I am pregnant and was clearly having a hormonal meltdown

@Causeimunderyourspell these Bentleys cause a lot of problems don't they!

Oh the capacity of the humble mushroom to cause a domestic rift EssentialHummus. We once had a real bitch about whether they should be chopped chunky or sliced in a stir fry. (Chopping option obviously as sliced ones stick to the wok under high temperatures, but he won't be told. However, have learnt that the way to get dinner cooked by him is to let him slice the frigging things.
He challenged my cooking of omelettes once. (To add a splash of milk or not.) He criticised, so he now cooks them. I've not cooked an omelette in 30 years LOL!

Years ago myself and exh owned a ground floor flat upstairs were always rowing. Exh had gone outside to get the huge fluffs of tree pollen off our windows as it kept blowing inside. Upstairs started rowing, next thing you know she’s chucked a load of his clothes out the window, then he chucks hers exh managed to dodge them...then for some unknown reason one of them emptied the contents of the cutlery drawer out the window! That was when exh decided leave sorting the windows another day. We had to casually sit and watch tv while they both sheepishly came to pick up their posseesions when they finished the row 😂

My (presumably drunk) former neighbours arguing about who left the unicorn in the garden.

DH and I had a blazing row about the appropriate number of cheeses to keep in the fridge.

I said that 6 was very acceptable (cheddar, feta, Brie, baby-bel, soft (Philadelphia) and Parmesan) he said than more than 2 was ridiculous.

In the end he said bloody well ask Mumsnet then - so I did AIBU and I wasn't - we didn't speak for 2 days

But milk in an omelette is an abomination!

The first row I ever had with Ex was over Phil Collins. I might have told him to 'fuck off and shove that right wing twat up your arse and then FAX it to me.' in front of all of his friends. Whom I'd just met for the first time.

I should have realised it was doomed then.

Our neighbours once had a row over the colour of the packet of Salt and Vinegar crisps

To be fair that’s a serious and complicated issue.

Oh my fave argument overheard many many years ago.
Walking past a high rise, heard shouting, caught the last line, yelled with some ferocity by a clearly hacked off woman.
"Your dinners down the fucking chute"

A better line than your dinners in the dog eh.

When ds was 10 and dd was 7 they had a blazing row over who liked donuts more than the other 😂

My Mum and I were out walking in the Dales and having a very animated conversation where she wrongly insisted there were lepers in Spartacus. It got quite heated, until from the other side of a dry stone wall came a gruff Yorkshire voice saying "Nay lass, yon lepers were in Ben Hur, and I'll hear no more about it!". We shut up.

Oh, a couple in Primark, only caught the last bit.

‘Well, I just want to see what they’ve got upstairs’
‘You’ve just been up there knobhead’

God I really want to know what happens when he buys the "fucking expensive crackers"

I know but we never shall! Not following them around the supermarket to hear more is in my list of my top five life regrets.

I want to know if they meant biscuits or Christmas crackers!!

with what sounded like genuine hatred in her voice, 'yes, well, we all know what happens when you buy the fucking expensive crackers'

My father, aged 67 at the time, refused to speak to my mother for a week because she said he didn't look like Paul McCartney

These are pure gold.

I remember years ago walking past a couple, just as the man announced to the woman in total exasperation, 'But you've got PLENTY of pairs of slacks, Norma.'

I once had a blazing row in the middle of a freshly ploughed field, about the correct way to plant potatoes. Half way through, I realised that I was wrong, but I carried on regardless, and won!

Funniest argument I heard was on Ascot station platform, between a train driver (TD) and the platform announcer (PA) - waiting for a train into London.

PA - Next train to London is on Platform 2

So lots of people get onto the train on platform 2

TD, over the intercom, This train is not going to London, please get off the train if you want to go to London

PA - Please get onto the train on Platform 2 for London

TD - No, this train isn't going to London. Please get off the train if you want to go to London

This continued back and forth several times with people getting on and off the train, getting more and more bemused and worried about where they were going to end up...

Ended up with the PA and TD shouting at each other, along the lines of
PA Your train is going to London. Let everybody on so you can go in 2 minutes
TD - this train isn't going to London - I'm the train driver and I should know
PA - well I set the points and it is going to london - so I'm the one that knows
This went on several more times, getting increasingly sweary and heated, everybody on the platform standing and watching in amazement. Unfortunately it was before the days of phone cameras - which is a shame as I can see that it would have gone viral very quickly.

In the end nobody got on the train, td drove off with the pa still yelling announcements at him, both convinced that they were right. No idea where the train did actually end up!

Good timing
My partner of 17 years has truly just huffed off out because of a row over celebrity master chef.

Our biggest fight we’ve ever had that escalated so much i flounced to my dad started over an odd number of bbq ribs from the Chinese and who got it.

'Nay lass' oh God I'm crying 😅

@DontDribbleOnTheCarpet
Yes! I do this, even with absolute proof I am wrong I just carry on 🤣

I did hear two women arguing in a supermarket one of them ended it by saying "I'll dust out the queue/cue???" - it ended the argument but I have no clue what it meant.

DH and I recently had a bit of a contretemps over which one of us hated Trump the most. I won

An honourable skirmish. What gave you the winning edge?

Eh, milk in an omelette is scrambled eggs.