Embarrassed by boyfriend

[DogDmor]

Been seeing someone for around 3 months. We get in we'll but he's quirky, which is fine - well I thought it was. Sometimes I'm starting to think he's just plain odd.

He's overweight and said he wanted to get fitter so I suggested he come along to my karate class. He did and I ended up mortified. He wore scruffy old jogging suit bottoms with paint on them and a massive baggy t-shirt with Harry Potter on. Whenever instructor showed him something he giggled. Instructor is hard arse, old school - I've known him for years and knew he was going to react badly. After 3 or so giggling moments and DB stood in weird positions and flapping his arms around like a little girl instructor said "what are you giggling at? Are you a girl or what? Do you have something wrong with you?". Everyone was looking. DB started stuttering and instructor carried on with "you know this is karate and not ballet don't you? Are you in the wrong class?". DBs face went bright red. I was mortified and just wanted to hide. Another female instructor said "alright, it's his first day" so instructor said "but what's he giggling at?". Anyway later on instructor came over to me and said "where the hell did you find him? Is he one of your patients or something?" I was so embarrassed I just said "he's a neighbour".

After the class I asked DB why he kept laughing. I'd warned him beforehand about the instructor. He replied "it was funny, I thought I looked silly!" So I said "you did, why did you act like that? It's a class full of martial artists, nobody else was acting like that" do he looked embarrassed and said "I don't know" so I said he shouldn't come again as instructor will have it in for him now. He got upset and said "but I like spending time with you" so I snapped and farted and said "well you embarrassed me, I've been going there for years and now I don't want to go back because of you, find your own hobby".

Anyway this isn't an isolated incident, a couple of weeks ago he embarrassed me in a cafe shouting and making a scene. In private we get on really well but in private he mortifies me.

He still wants to come to karate with me tonight. AIBU to tell him I don't want him there?

This will be in the Daily Fail tomorrow “woman so enraged by her DB giggling at karate club she snapped and farted”

I took the "little girl" reference to be about the flapping movement that the guy was doing, that he was mimicking a child pretending to be a ballerina?

The OP mentions it in her own description of his actions as well as the instructors comments. Perhaps I'm reading it too literally, though.

I'm so sorry I had a reply until I read "snapped and farted" now I'm rolling round laughing that even the dog is looking at me weirdly. Best typo ever

IBS = Intentional Bum-hole Sounds?

SNAP AND FART

Sometimes, it's the only thing to do.

'It really was the final straw. Like, a total SAF situation'
'Wow say no more dear friend'

I haven’t laughed this much at a thread since the woman who screamed at the Sistine chapel

@mnhq ... move to classics?!

I’m reading this on the train home - only read the first and last pages and now have to stop as I’m crying with laughter and worried the other passengers are going to start looking at me strangely 😂

Came back to show my husband this and started crying laughing all over again.

To see her reply 'I have IBS' too 😂😂😂😂

Never mind, OP - better out than in, as they say!

Dp wanted to know what know what I was laughing at. I kept laughing when trying to tell him. Then he got annoyed I was laughing over the sound of the football.

I really couldn't stop laughing. He got up, walked past me and farted and said 'that's snapping and carting and we both dtart3d laughing again.

I can't see this thread being real. But it's funny.

My DH asked if he is trying out for a brown belt....

And so Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by. Her soul slides away but don't fart in anger I heard you say.

In all seriousness though, I think you and your boyfriend are incompatible and your karate instructor sounds nasty. I used to do karate and my instructor wasn't nasty at all, quite the opposite.

I know several male (professional) ballet dancers, any of whom could pick up a karate instructor one-handed and chuck him across the room.

Just sayin'.

This thread is hilarious! Snapping and farting - the more I hear it, the funnier it gets

Your Sensai was a nasty bully, not to mention a dick saying flapping like a girl. I think your way too harsh on your bf, most people feel silly trying something new..

I laughed none stop for a full 5 minutes at 'snapped and farted' 😂 then reading the comments made it worse

This is not how the OP envisaged the thread going...

I don't think this went as OP planned....

I think it's going exactly as the OP planned....

@Purplehammer

I'd forgotten about screaming at a Da Vinci!

That thread made me laugh so hard while walking the dog that an old man approached me to ask if I needed medical help 😂😂😂

Ladies! Don't let boyfriend troubles get you down! When bothersome blokes are making you mad, simply Snap and Fart*, and all your woes will go pfffffttt!

*registered trademark I don't know how to put tm in tiny letters after fart

Is the snap and fart the opposite of the bend and snap?

That thread made me laugh so hard while walking the dog that an old man approached me to ask if I needed medical help

Snapped and farted.

What has the fart got to do with the story? That's what I don't understand.

To show how angry she was?

This KILLED Me 😂😂😂😂