Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Crematorium Technician here

686 replies

CodLiverOil556 · 31/05/2018 13:11

I see lots of threads about cremations and Crematoria. I'm currently a crem tech so please ask me questions and I will endeavor to answer them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Original poster
CodLiverOil556 · 31/05/2018 21:01

@Akire yes absolutely. The cremator is quite wide but there is a limit. Also trolleys have a weight limit they can safely handle as they're all hydraulic.

I've seen people who are extremely big get lowered into a burial plot with a crane as their coffins were too heavy to be lowered by bearers.

OP posts:
PandaPieForTea · 31/05/2018 21:01

I just think they’d be more interesting to keep than ground up ashes. I guess I’d keep them in a box somewhere - a bit like keeping an urn of ground up ashes. I suppose the converse question is ‘why would you want them to be ground up?’ It’s just a social convention. Obviously you couldn’t really scatter them if they were still bones/big bits as it would be disconcerting if they were found.

Original poster
CodLiverOil556 · 31/05/2018 21:02

@AndIWouldWalk500Yards yes funeral directors are aware and they have this discussion with families. We can fit someone who is 8 feet tall in our cremator so height isn't the issue...it's the width.

OP posts:
Parkrunner25 · 31/05/2018 21:03

"I've had a good sob to my colleague before when I've charged a 4 year olds coffin"

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for caring so much. Xx.

Original poster
CodLiverOil556 · 31/05/2018 21:04

@BeachyUmbrella yes we've had a power cut half way through...the back up generator fired up but we had to reset the cremator after the one in was finished. Was a pain all round but the cremation was still done correctly and within the law.

OP posts:
FiestaThenSiesta · 31/05/2018 21:04

Are you allowed to bury cremated bones? So you could bury your loved one in say your backyard (and take them with you if you move?)

Angelil · 31/05/2018 21:08

Thank you OP for the care you clearly put into your job. If only more people were like you.

TwitterQueen1 · 31/05/2018 21:09

irksome I agree. Reading about the funeral pyre on top of a mountain in Colorado would actually be my preferred way now I think. I wouldn't mind being mingled with other people's remains and left on a mountain top (especially in the most amazing state in the US). But I'm not sure my DCs would agree and I tend to think that whatever will help them most is what they should do with my remains.

Akire · 31/05/2018 21:11

You said metal Handels have to come off but most would be just plastic look alike ones? A quick google shows most as solid metal. Are families told at purchase that these will be given back to funeral home? Who takes them Off after funeral But before they go in?

readyforapummelling · 31/05/2018 21:12

@olderthanyouthink thank you! Got it.

HildaZelda · 31/05/2018 21:29

Thank you so much for this thread OP.

MizCracker · 31/05/2018 21:31

What a great thread.

I'm lucky to have only been to two grandparent's funerals in my adult life, and both times I was so touched by the funeral home staff who drove the hearse and bowed to the coffin as it sat at the front of the room. It was so respectful. Now I know that respect and professionalism carries on once the funeral service is over too.

Original poster
CodLiverOil556 · 31/05/2018 21:40

@Akire burial coffins are solid metal but cremation ones are plastic look a likes but if say we got a burial coffin the yes the funeral director would have to remove them before we could cremate it

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 31/05/2018 21:40

Excellent thread. Always found this rather interesting. Didnt know that wicker and cardboard arent ideal so will now change instructions to cheap wood. I want a direct cremation if my family can handle it. I may buy a coffin and decorate it. I could store wool in it while I wait.
As others have said, your respect for the dead shines through. Thank you for that.

Ilikesweetpeas · 31/05/2018 21:43

Fascinating thread, thank you for explaining so much

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 31/05/2018 21:45

Excellent threD @ILoveKermit you've been great answering questions.

Have you ever had a family member ask for a certain body part to not go through the cremator (this may be more the funereal directors job but unsure if you've heard of it?)

Would someone tall (say 6'4') be heavier Ash wise than a short person (5ft).
Also would someone being muscular make their burning easier s not just lots of bone and skin or harder as fat would be limited?

Sorry if they are very morbid.

I definitely agree death shouldn't be such a big taboo. It's perfectly natural (though obviously not desired) aand everyone will die one day, so to understand the process as well as the ins and outs can make it. Lot was frightening for those who fear how their body will be treated.

Thank you s much for having empathy even once the person has died - it shows you're truly a kind person. 💐

Buxbaum · 31/05/2018 21:48

God bless you, @ILoveKermit, for the work that you do and for the comfort that this thread has brought so many people Flowers

Original poster
CodLiverOil556 · 31/05/2018 21:48

@NotAnotherNoughtiesTune I've not ever come across the family wanting to keep a body part and as far as I know a person has to be kept whole but yes that's one for a funeral director.

With the amount of ashes you get you can never tell how much you're going to get whether that person be very tall or very short. Flesh/muscle/organs all burn away to nothing so it is just bones and a bit of coffin in the ashes.

OP posts:
BibiBlocksberg · 31/05/2018 21:50

Thank you for this thread OP & the reminder that through facing Death we also connect to life as one cannot exist without the other.

Well, in my case anyway.

Feels like such a taboo subject in everyday society, really great to see an open discussion on it.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 31/05/2018 21:51

@ILoveKermit Sorry I meant with the muscle question would the .muscle act similar to fuel like fat or wouldn't it make much difference.

It's a fascinating subject.

Original poster
CodLiverOil556 · 31/05/2018 21:53

@NotAnotherNoughtiesTune yes they would act as fuel but fat really fuels the fire

OP posts:
Accountant222 · 31/05/2018 21:53

Thanks for sharing I've really enjoyed reading this thread.

When my Dad died 28 years ago, I was a bit overwhelmed by the kindness and respect the people we had to deal with showed us.

My Grandad died when I was 14, he was quite well known locally, he had a business and employed quite a few people, when we went from the church to the cemetery in the cars, people lined the streets and took off their caps and bowed their heads, this was 1970, it broke my heart.

Perpetualstateofchaos · 31/05/2018 21:59

My mum has expressed her wish of having a small amount of my brother's ashes in her coffin with her. Would we be allowed to do this. I know you have answered for pets ashes but not sure if the same answer applies.

WitchDancer · 31/05/2018 22:01

How does your process differ from the video?

Thank you for the insight

Original poster
CodLiverOil556 · 31/05/2018 22:01

@Perpetualstateofchaos probably not but his ashes could be mixed with hers when they are scattered or buried whichever you're having.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread