Crematorium Technician here

[CodLiverOil556]

I see lots of threads about cremations and Crematoria. I'm currently a crem tech so please ask me questions and I will endeavor to answer them.

[CodLiverOil556]

@Vebrithien you're very welcome...I hope you can get some closure by visiting your little ones final resting place x

[Vebrithien]

Thank you Vanguard and Kermit I would never have known who to contact, but I phoned patient affairs at my hospital, and they've put me in touch with the bereavement midwife. She was very kind and was able to tell me exactly what would happen, where the ashes would be scattered and when. Thank you again for signposting me to the correct place.

[Vebrithien]

Thank you. I know our local crematorium well, and I do hope that they go to this one. There is a beautiful children's garden there. I will ask when I go back into hospital.

[TheVanguardSix]

Veb you need to ring patient affairs at the hospital. They’ll guide you. That’s who helped me when I went through a similar situation.

[CodLiverOil556]

Hey @Vebrithien you would need to get in touch with the bereavement midwife and see which crematorium they deal with. They will have a record...good luck and sorry for your loss

[Vebrithien]

@kermitrulesok sorry to bother you, but I wondered if you ever had to deal with the remains of miscarriages? I've got to have surgical management of a missed miscarriage, and we've opted to have he remains cremated. We've been told that the hospital Chaplain will say a short multi-faith prayer, and that there will be several cremated together. But I don't know what will happen next. Will there likely be any ashes, and if so, is there a standard place that they might be scattered? If they are scattered, who does it? Can't cope with taking my little miscarriage home, but I'd love to know if there is somewhere that their ashes would go, that I could visit. Thank you.

[Notsurewhat1981]

Do you have any personal spiritual thoughts on it you'd care to share ? For example , when my mum and dad died I put their ashes together then set some aside as my brother wanted them buried and I didn't want to let them go, equally I wanted a ring made into glass. He managed to scare me out of this saying it's an ancient thing think that the souls of bodies or ashes with 'some missing ' never truly rip. Any vibes on that ?

[Toptheginup]

That is where I seen it @fascinating

[FascinatingCarrot]

top Its been mentioned on an AIBU thread, so Im assuming theres a few who havent seen this before now.

[Toptheginup]

Because I want to read it later

[DonDrapersOldFashioned]

Why’ve you bumped this 6month old thread, toptheginup?

[Toptheginup]

.

[brotherphil]

I stumbled upon the American video posted upthread and found it very upsetting after an aunt died.
Looking at some of the details - the deceased arriving in shrouds, and the face masks and that sort of thing - I suspect that that may well have been some sort of special circumstances, like there being a large number of unidentified bodies after a disaster. There was a sort of matter-of-factness about the process that didn't seem to fit with the usual funerary practices.

[CodLiverOil556]

Having read into the ashes scandal it sounds like babies were cremated with adults which is shocking and many lessons have been learned.

We cremate babies separately and even with the non viable foetuses there's always ashes even if it's only a teaspoon full we endeavour to collect the ashes by using a pestle and mortar to cremulate the remains.

[ilovepicasso]

Thank you @kermitrulesok for your reply. Means a lot.
We were told that because of her size there would have been nothing left at all. Because we had never been in this situation before, we just accepted that this was the case. We were told this by our undertaker. Obviously since then we've found out there were another 60+ families who had been told exactly the same. 😔 obviously there is nothing we can do now but it still makes me so angry when I think about it. I have no idea what happened to her ashes.

[CodLiverOil556]

@PennyPickle 3 different doctors confirm the death.

@ilovepicasso I'm extremely sorry to hear about your little one. There would almost certainly be ashes left after that cremation...I would say a couple of handfuls at least. What were you told at the time?

[ilovepicasso]

Fantastic thread. Reading with interest.
Slightly distressing post now. I apologise if this upsets anyone or triggers memories. It's one of a few questions I've never had answered.

I am unfortunately a parent who has been affected by the baby ashes scandal in recent years.
Without going into too much detail I was told by the undertaker that following my daughters cremation ( she was full term and 3 days old. Weighing 6lb) there wouldn't be any ashes to return to us due to her size.

We've since found out this was lies and down to very very poor practice.

I do however wonder what quantity of ashes could have been returned to us?

[PennyPickle]

I'm very relieved to hear that there is no chance the person was still alive. It's bloody scary though.

What happens with an eco funeral? Is the person buried or cremated? I'm sorry I'm not up on these things. I tend to blank it out but I am now thinking about a funeral plan to save my children the headache when my time comes.

I have no idea what to choose! How do you know for certain the person in the coffin is dead?

I'm so sorry to question you. That image has been firmly planted in my subconscience. I can't get rid of it until I know 100% that a person is definitely dead going into the flames.

I have to attend the cremation of a friends child next Tuesday. I am so glad you have explained that the coffin doesn't go into the flames once it passes through the curtain. I would be bricking it otherwise so thank you for explaining that

[CodLiverOil556]

@PennyPickle can absolutely guarantee that the person was not alive and that sort of thing is very rare. At the moment burial or cremation are the only options

[PennyPickle]

There's no chance the body would have still been alive at that point? Please tell me no! .... I'm totally freaked out!

Is there any other way for a body to be disposed of other than burial or cremation please?

[CodLiverOil556]

@PennyPickle the lid normally opens up around 15 minutes into a cremation.

[PennyPickle]

Eek! 🙀 Would the lid still be on the coffin at that point?

[CodLiverOil556]

@PennyPickle that is certainly a distressing image. It can happen as yes tendons, muscled can pull tight and make a body 'sit up' it's extremely rare though. I can imagine if it happened it would be quite scary and can only hope the guy had proper help through it.

[CodLiverOil556]

@SoleBizzz no I don't, sometimes I wonder if they had a good or bad life and hope they fulfilled it with everything they wanted to do

[PennyPickle]

I thought long and hard before posting my question not to upset posters who may have recently deceased loved ones. If so please don't continue reading....

Kermit when I was around 14 someone told me that a young man, who lived in my street, went "mad" because he started a job at the local crem. Apparently he put a coffin through the fire jets and the body sat bolt upright and screamed.

Neighbours began discussing that when tendons get hot they tighten, causing the body to fold (therefore sit upright). The screaming was said to be the escape of gasses within the body. I found this very traumatic and the vision has never left me. I would be grateful if you could put my mind at rest please