Crematorium Technician here

[CodLiverOil556]

I see lots of threads about cremations and Crematoria. I'm currently a crem tech so please ask me questions and I will endeavor to answer them.

Please don't think this is too morbid...

But do you ever get coffins that well.....don't look like a traditionally shaped coffin.

I've always said to my family that they should pack me into the biggest cardboard box they can find. There is just something about a wooden coffin that makes me feel uneasy.

If you delivered your own loved one to a crematorium, I presume you'd need some sort of 'licence' to carry a corpse? I know when a friend died, his body was taken from London to Lancashire and I seem to remember they had to get permission from each county he travelled through. I may be remembering this completely wrong though.

One of my closest friends is a British born Indian. Her mother (Indian born & 90+) recently died and friend was not familiar with the burial rituals. She got huge comfort from all the different rituals - a photo in the home with a candle and flowers, people pinning things to the exterior of the coffin, everyone talking about everything, the whole extended family mourning in India with a communal commemoration...

We don't do death (or old age) at all well in the UK. And here's another vote @MNHQ for classics please! We're all so scared of and ignorant about death and I believe it would be so much less stressful for all concerned if we could talk about it more.

I've been talking to a friend about this thread who isn't on here. She has an older relative who is seriously obese - between 30 and 40 stones in weight. What is the maximum sized person that can fit in a cremator? At what size would a crematorium say that they cannot carry out a cremation because the deceased and coffin is too large?

Would that ever happen?

I agree Twitterqueen. I felt very uncomfortable at the start of the thread. But as I read on, I saw my fears verbalised by others and I began to feel in a much better place.

Thank you OP.

Thank you for this Kermit.

I've spent the day reading this thread when I had a minute. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to answer everyone's questions and put so many people a mind's at ease, all my questions have been asked and answered already.

The fact that you say goodbye and wish everyone well really touched me, thank you again.

I think this thread should be in classics, it would help a lot of people over the years

Thank you @ILoveKermit for this enlightening discussion.

I've hated crematoriums since I was a young girl after attending my grandmothers' cremation. I don't know if this is just me remembering something wrong but all I can think about is that when the curtains went round the coffin, you could hear the whir of tracks taking it back. (This would have been in the 80s).

To hear you speak of the deceased with so much respect is truly comforting.

A fascinating thread - thank you Kermit for the job that you do.

She had a terminal illness and wanted to see what would happen to her. I showed her round then cremated her about 2 months later...I felt a special bond with her

Twitterqueen. It’s interesting how different cultures deal with death. Personally I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with very simple funerals with no rituals or tradition. I wouldn’t like a funeral with lots of traditions.

It’s good to learn that cremations can be tailored to suit a wide variety of needs.

@DamsonGin to be honest paint/varnish only lasts a second or before it's stripped off by the flames.

@CookPassBabtridge very thin people don't have a lot of fuel (fat) so can take a longer

@BeachyUmbrella I'm not sure you do. That's one for a funeral director

@AndIWouldWalk500Yards we have a large cremator and would go by the size of coffin not necessarily the weight. Especially the width and length. If her coffin was too big then she would have to be buried.

What a fascinating thread.

I lost my mum 5 years ago and I researched cremation before the funeral and it gave me some sort of strange comfort so I can see why this thread has created such interest.

Please ask for it to go into classics as it will be lost if it remains in chat.

The funeral director we used was just lovely. I remember her telling me she tucked my mum up each night and said goodnight in the days between her arriving there and the funeral.

I love the fact you say cheerio before cremating the deceased- it gives me great comfort to know someone like you is there with our loved ones on their final journey.

AFAIK you don't have to have any sort of license to carry a corpse yourself, it doesn't even have to be in a coffin in public, but it is an offence to expose it in a public place (it can be shrouded/wrapped up)

An acquaintance's wife had a stillborn baby and they wanted to bury her in Ireland. They took her (in a coffin) and drove all the way themselves.

Thank you Kermit. I will pass that information on.

Would it be possible to have the bones/bone fragments returned instead of having them ground up and returned?

This is fascinating. Thank you for sharing

@PandaPieForTea I wouldn't have thought so. I've never been asked that question before though. Why wouldn't you want them ground into ashes? Where would you put them?

Fantastic and educational thread OP.
IS there a size where you are to
Big/fat to be cremated? Is there a cut off point? Or was it built to cover every possible situation?

Sorry more questions re larger deceased people. Do funeral directors have the measurements for people who can be cremated so families understand what is possible or not from the outset? Clearly it isn't just obese people, it might be very tall people.

Fascinating - I have always been adamant that I don't want to be cremated but more recently I have been thinking that I don't want my kids to feel obliged to visit a grave either (I feel horrible guilt when I don't get to my mum's/sister's graves often enough). I feel very reassured now and may have to change the funeral instructions in my Will -!thank you so much for this X

Have you ever been out of power or run out of fuel? Particularly half way through, I suppose.

Thank you Kermit for a very touching, insightful and reassuring thread.