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I just paid £17 to have my passport photo taken and it is NOT MY FACE

279 replies

HarrietKettle · 13/03/2018 19:26

I mean, I suppose it must be.

I look like I've just been arrested for drink driving offences, under the influence, and it's 4am in a downtown NY drunk-tank.

This is going on my ZSL pass for my charges and I to visit the zoo (I'm a nanny) so not ideal.

I applied make up. I brushed my hair. I wore a jaunty shade. I skipped along to Snappy-Fucking-Snaps on Charlotte Steet, London as I thought they'd take a nicer photo than my local one in Acton.

The lady asked me which one I wanted, they were all shite but one didn't make me want to cut my head off, I said that one please, she robbed me of my £17.99 and I said I'd pop back in half an hour.

I SWEAR TO GOD SHE SWITCHED THEM to the worst photo of my face I e ever seen. I look awful, I have never looked so awful, and if that is honestly my face I'm cancelling the extortionate wedding photographer we've selected and having my one year old nephew take the pics, at least he's likely to chop out my head.

I now have to present a picture of me looking like a criminal with addiction problems to my new boss for the ZSL card, and I'll have 7 monstrosities left that will never see the light of any day.

I looked fine in the mirror beforehand. Fine.

My fiancé says I'm like a slightly less Chanel-ed version of Natalie Portman (we've had his eyes tested and they're grand but I know he's slightly biased) so WHAT THE FUCK happened. The image is seared on to my brain forever. And the godforsaken ZSL card.

Anyone else look shite when they thought they looked ok?

DISCLAIMER LIGHTHEARTED I know I'm lucky to have a face etc etc

OP posts:
clownfaces · 13/03/2018 19:30

I got myself all glammed up to meet friends at the weekend. I was looking great. My friend took a picture of us and someone had swapped me for an overweight frump Confused

Showergel1 · 13/03/2018 19:32

I feel ya op.
I have massive shoulders in photos. Massive. I once made the mistake of wearing a dark t-shirt that was indistinguishable from a dark cardigan in photos for a new work ID. Looked like I had a floating pea for a head..
Burn the remaining copies and get photo booth ones next time you attend a wedding!

Purpledahlia88 · 13/03/2018 19:32

Oh god I can just imagine...
I thought it was only me who appeared absolutely hideous in these photos but my 8 year old also looked like some sort of thug and he is angelic looking really, that comforts me somewhat.

Callamia · 13/03/2018 19:32

I have a photo taken for a visa when I went to Russia for work. I look entirely like a child you’d see on the side of a milk carton. I was thirty. I look like a creepy kidnapped nine year old. Wtf?

Phosphorus · 13/03/2018 19:32

Lucky to have a face Grin

Mine is awful too. I look so deathly pale in it, it resembles a pair of eyes goggling out of a slab of pastry. With prison hair.

And I couldn't wear my glasses, which I'm sure would have lent a more human air to things.

Callamia · 13/03/2018 19:33

Oh yes! Our eldest had his done at snappy snaps when he was about 4m. He looks like a criminal potato.

Justmuddlingalong · 13/03/2018 19:33

I went to the opticians today. The eye test went fine, but as I tried on frames, the mirrors all reflected my mother's face. WTF? 😲

troodiedoo · 13/03/2018 19:34

Snappy snaps is still going? Shock

Purpledahlia88 · 13/03/2018 19:35

My passport photo, about 9 years old, was before I discovered eyebrow pencil and my eyebrows naturally are so light they appear non existent in the picture. It's an absolutely shocking picture, I hide it from everyone unless it's crucial they see it, I actually want to upload it plus a normal photo to show just how Shocking it is but I can't, it's too shameful. Not only no brows but pale, eye bags, hair an awful shade in a pony tale which looks like I have centre parting and crop at the same time.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 13/03/2018 19:35

You might be as ugly as fuck OP, but you've got a great sense of humour.

My passport photo I look like Casper the Friendly Ghost but with pale green hair.

clownfaces · 13/03/2018 19:36

Grin @Justmuddlingalong

lilydaisyrose · 13/03/2018 19:36

£17.99??? We paid £6 a set last week!

Sorry about your crim. face OP!

Pinkvoid · 13/03/2018 19:36

Same happened to me when I went into a klick for driving licence photos. It was the worst photo I’d ever seen of myself, I didn’t think it was possible to look so bad. I refused to use them and got some in a photo booth instead- much better.

falsepriest · 13/03/2018 19:36

£17.99 to get some passport photos taken? They saw you coming, fuck me.

Amrapaali · 13/03/2018 19:36

I tried thrice. Three times FFS. As in drive three times to different places to get a good photo. Did I heck Hmm

Now the DVLA has written to remind me about licence expiring and have kindly offered to use my passport photo to save me trouble. They are all in it together I tell you. "Make the punters look as miserable as possible and they won't dare travel Anywhere and complain about overcrowded airports and horrific roads".
It truly is a conspiracy.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 13/03/2018 19:37

It's ok, OP. Ive just had my driving licence redone. I had to have the photo done when I had that dreadful virus which has been going round, and they no longer allow you to wear your glasses in the pic (like with passport) so I look half dead and half blind. Also, I will never drive without my specs!

Fluffyears · 13/03/2018 19:37

Yeah I had full slap, hair done thought I looked ok but the pictures look shite.

brownelephant · 13/03/2018 19:38

everyone looks shite on a passport photo

IreneWinters · 13/03/2018 19:38

I look like Voldemort on my driving licence. They have changed the contrast or brightness or something so much that my nose has completely disappeared.

NoParticularPattern · 13/03/2018 19:38

Oh don’t! I had a baby 4 weeks ago and was feeling pretty good about the way I look considering I’ve just carried and pushed out a giant baby. Then my sister put a photo on of me out walking with DD in the pram and I look like I’ve eaten the fucking moon. Twice.

Why do cameras have to be such evil, back stabbing pieces of crap?! I swear I’m not actually the size of a planet, but that bloody photo tells me otherwise!!!

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 13/03/2018 19:39

My current passport photo has me looking like a grumpy cow, but that’s because I had a huge fight with the Photo-Me booth to get it to work at all and I have resting bitch face anyway. My previous one made me look like a member of Baader-Meinhoff. I’m surprised I was allowed entry into any country with that picture.

LoveInTokyo · 13/03/2018 19:39

Callamia I just snorted out loud at “criminal potato”!

BobbinThreadbare123 · 13/03/2018 19:39

Oh, and they said I could use my passport and do it online so I logged in to do just that. Typed my passport number in etc and the bloody website said it couldn't verify my identity so I should go to the Postie!

FlamingGoat · 13/03/2018 19:40

I hear you. I look like I'm 90 in mine. Somebody somewhere has my portrait in an attic and has put it upside down. It's definitely going the wrong way. Sad

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 13/03/2018 19:41

My recently done passport photo is horrendous-I too did the face & ran a comb through my hair only to receive a picture that resembles a police mugshot Hmm & my face looks fat!-it definitely well almost certain it isn't in real life.

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