Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

[Swimminguphill]

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

Oh god I'm only on page 7 and have to stop. I'm on a bus doing that silent breathing laughing trying so hard to hold it in that actual tears sprung. Never had that before.

I bought a jersey top from H&M with flared ruffle sleeve. I was thinking I would look casual but sort of edgy.

Reality: I thought I looked a little like an underdressed mariachi band leader. My preschool daughter wanted to know “why you look like a bird mummy?”. Ffs.

😂😂🤣 Cath Kidston dress - looking like you were pushing a drip stand up hospital corridor. That’s really tickled me.

These are hilarious I am sniggering away, the teens keep wanting to know what I’m snorting at 🤣

Ha ha ha ha. I am just scrolling down going "yes! me too".

My worst was a 3/4 length denim coat with a thick removable lining and fur trim. From a very swanky boutique in Greece.
In my imagination I looked quirkily European and expensive.

Reality: Uncle Fester circa 1970

Every beige or camel trench coat I've ever tried has been instant Inspector Gadget. I will never give up my quest.

Did anyone else buy those next tapered skinny jersey harem trousers? I bought two pairs this summer after seeing them recommended over and over again on here.

I was hoping for casual summer chic, unfortunately the only look I nailed was ‘baby with a full nappy’. The look also garnered questions such as ‘are you changing out of your pjs before we leave?’.
I can safely say they did not work for me.

Funny thread. I am sniggering on the train and getting weird looks!

wheresmymojo I had my Hulk moment when I wore a 3/4 sleeved top with cropped trousers. If only they'd been unhemmed/raw edge I would really have nailed it.

Crying with laughter at the full nappy harem pants! And the Cath Kidston drip-stand up a hospital corridor. Am pretty sure I had that same dress, which went to Oxfam pretty sharpish.

Mine was a See by Chloe blouse for sale for £20 in my local Oxfam. Expectation - people would gasp in admiration at my ability to nail the "it" look of the season. Reality - DH said I looked like a middle aged Victorian dowager.

I love the elegant wide trouser look. Bought some from Boden in a fab dark dark purple. Even my perma-glued to phones teenage sons did a double take and suggested I change (am 5'4 but with v short legs). They went back!

My uniqlo wide legs order didn't go through

Was it one of you??
I don't care if they're clown trousers.
Don't care.
Don't care.
Don't care.

I want them even more now.

Katharine parsnip legs. 🤣🤣🤣

I can't stop crying. DD just said who's doing all that snorting?

I got a lovely jersey floral dress from Monsoon, and thought it would look cute and vintage with a pale pink velvet trimmed cardigan from Boden.

The result. Pure Mrs Brown.

How is this thread not in Classics yet?!

In tears @ leprechaun/St Patrick's Day parade dress, full nappy baby trousers, where's Wally in drag, fat old man in drag, triceratops, intergalactic toga and countless others.

Love the Pippa Middleton dress and the navy trench. I love Edwardian lace type things but I look like a chubby toddler in them.

Ah yes...the beige linen dress that was so cool for summer in Italy, at least that's what I thought. I looked like a disciple.
The white jeans a la Liz Hurley only from the back I looked like a hot point washing machine.

Ah linen. Reminds me of the white linen tunic top I bought for a holiday in Morocco one year.

The expectation: Effortless cool in sunny climes.
The reality: A Clinique beauty counter assistant.

A dress similar to this (slightly darker shade of grey) I was going to wear it to work with a thin belt and heeled ankle boots, in my head that all worked...

In real life I looked like a nun, not like a sexy fancy dress nun or even a nun in a habit, just like a nun, when they wear their day clothes but you can still tell they're off duty nuns.

3 months later, I saw another one but in a shorter skirt length and thought, aha, that'll work...

Nope, still a nun.

Even now I'm looking at that photo thinking, ooh, maybe a lighter grey will work?

My latest disaster was when I attempted to wear a skinny polo neck under a midi-dress, as recommended by fashionistas this winter.

I looked fat. And moreover, Amish.

I didn't get as far as putting on the recommended white trainers to finish off the ensemble - I imagine it would have tipped me over into looking like a fat Amish woman who should not be allowed sharp objects.

Or Annie Wilkes.

Me, yesterday:

My beige trench is less classic and chic, and more candidate for sex offender register.

Do you turn into a comedy genius the second you make one of these fashion faux pas? I am crying with laughter!

Speaking of trenches / raincoats can anyone own up to wearing this famous (on MN anyway) coat affectionately known as the Boden Fanny Mac?

Expectation: Fun middle-class Mum able to go out in the rain
Reality: The photo says it all...

OMG Martin my eyes! All I can see is bloody Yonis!!

After illness made me drop 2 stone, I thought I could finally carry off black cigarette pants a la Audrey Hepburn beatnik chic.

The reality?
Max Wall