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Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

689 replies

Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 15:16

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

OP posts:
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57
Gingernaut · 19/05/2023 17:49

Gingernaut · 14/12/2017 21:59

Hair disasters have been numerous.

Growing up in 70s and 80s, perms and big hair were in.

My hair is so thick and heavy, that once it reaches a certsin length, it pulls itself straight.

Not realising this and having dry red hair (very absorbant), I thought I'd get a perm.

I totally fell for "It's gonna be corkscrew bit loose, not tight. You'll be able to run your fingers through your hair. You won't look like your gran. Or a poodle. Honest."

Picture 1 - What I was promised and hoped for.

Picture 2 - How I walked out of the salon.

Picture 3 - How it looked after it had grown out for a few months.

Utter, nightmare.

@Sweetpea1532 , honestly? I feel your pain.

Sweetpea1532 · 20/05/2023 02:47

@Gingernaut hahahahalol!!!
Thank you so much for tagging me in this timelessly hilarious thread...it never gets old! I cant believe I posted on it 2 years ago.
I, too, am overweight, and a pear shape to boot....somehow the fashion industry just doesnt think pears can be chic! It doesnt help that my body shape has been discontinued, either. Ive taken to buying my jeans on Poshmark, and ebay...it would seem that the sellers have had the jeans in their wardrobes since the '80 or a relative has passed and they are tasked with getting rid of their terribly out of fashion jeans.
..Bill Blass, anyone? His stuff fits me perfectly..high waisted, generous through the hips and tighter around the ankles...too bad he stopped making my style in last century.😒

Sweetpea1532 · 20/05/2023 02:51

@BTMadmummy You're a champ for reviving this old classic...I keep rereading the posts and about die laughing at each one all over again😂
Thanks!

KatharinaRosalie · 20/05/2023 14:08

All those wide legged floaty trousers that are in this year? Tried a few. In my head they are skimming and flattering.
In reality - have clearly given up, can't even be arsed to change out of my pyjamas.

DeriArms · 21/05/2023 17:52

This thread never gets old. Since I posted about 3 years ago I can add another. I got my eyebrows microbladed, aim: Lily Collins. Reality: my partner said ‘Don’t take this the wrong way’, which is never a reassuring opening salvo, ‘but you look like Groucho Marx’. Other comments were ‘Noel Gallagher called, he wants his face back’, ‘You look like you but if you were made of Lego’ and ‘You should let the Thunderbirds know you’re available’.
The eyebrows did fairly quickly calm down, thank fuck.

MorrisZapp · 21/05/2023 18:10

DeriArms · 21/05/2023 17:52

This thread never gets old. Since I posted about 3 years ago I can add another. I got my eyebrows microbladed, aim: Lily Collins. Reality: my partner said ‘Don’t take this the wrong way’, which is never a reassuring opening salvo, ‘but you look like Groucho Marx’. Other comments were ‘Noel Gallagher called, he wants his face back’, ‘You look like you but if you were made of Lego’ and ‘You should let the Thunderbirds know you’re available’.
The eyebrows did fairly quickly calm down, thank fuck.

🤣🤣👌

MorrisZapp · 21/05/2023 18:12

BTMadmummy · 16/04/2023 10:47

Colonel Gaddafi - priceless

Show quote history

My all time fave 🤣🤣 It only works with 'bloody hell' bit 👌

WhereDoesThisToiletGo · 21/05/2023 19:47

DeriArms · 21/05/2023 17:52

This thread never gets old. Since I posted about 3 years ago I can add another. I got my eyebrows microbladed, aim: Lily Collins. Reality: my partner said ‘Don’t take this the wrong way’, which is never a reassuring opening salvo, ‘but you look like Groucho Marx’. Other comments were ‘Noel Gallagher called, he wants his face back’, ‘You look like you but if you were made of Lego’ and ‘You should let the Thunderbirds know you’re available’.
The eyebrows did fairly quickly calm down, thank fuck.

I recently got the HD brows treatment.
Expectation - 1960s Sophia Loren
Reality - Angry Birds poster

DeriArms · 22/05/2023 11:40

WhereDoesThisToiletGo · 21/05/2023 19:47

I recently got the HD brows treatment.
Expectation - 1960s Sophia Loren
Reality - Angry Birds poster

Show quote history

😂😂 that’s hilarious 😆

KatharinaRosalie · 13/01/2024 14:06

I need to revive this thread. Saw a woman wearing a light blue faux fur coat. She looked amazing, like a snow princess. So of course I had to hunt and get a similar one. It just arrived.

I look like something to do with snow indeed. A yeti.

pyjamaphile · 14/01/2024 14:51

As a child in the early 80’s I had very straight hair. My mum decided to take me to have a perm. I looked just like Annie..everyone tried to be nice to me saying it looked good, but you could see the pity in their eyes.

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
KimberleyClark · 14/01/2024 17:14

Any kind of crop trouser is a no no for me. They just look like they’ve shrunk in the wash.

Sybila · 14/01/2024 19:24

I bought the Zara red velvet blazer at Christmas. Came down stairs and son said sorry mum, I’m getting massive Wonka vibes.

SandraTeaspoon · 15/01/2024 00:55

PavlovaPlease · 07/12/2017 15:25

I bought a sequin jacket that I'd spotted on Instagram. I looked like Lionel Blair in it.

🤣 🤣

SandraTeaspoon · 15/01/2024 00:56

hollygolipo · 07/12/2017 18:27

I bought the red Zara frayed edge coat and looked like a member of a Beatles tribute act. Also spent £400 on a beautiful soft leather jacket only to see Suzi Quattro's fat nan staring back at me in the mirror.

Suzy Quattro's fat nan lol

annieloulou · 15/01/2024 18:29

Another 80s perm one.
Wanted one like the Girl from Last Christmas video, Got footballers perm in the style of Terry McDermott.

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Zaphodsotherhead · 15/01/2024 20:01

I found a long forgotten oversized shirt in the back of my cupboard. It's green with a small black pattern and I thought I'd wear it with jeans, all nice and sloppy but elegant.

I look like I've gone mouldy.

GrannyWeatherwaxsBroomstick · 16/01/2024 09:42

@annieloulou I have an 80s perm disaster as well. My hair is dry, fine, and wavy/curly and there is lots of it. The hairdresser persuaded my DM that a perm would even out the curl.
That was the summer I wore hats.

annieloulou · 16/01/2024 18:26

GrannyWeatherwaxsBroomstick · 16/01/2024 09:42

@annieloulou I have an 80s perm disaster as well. My hair is dry, fine, and wavy/curly and there is lots of it. The hairdresser persuaded my DM that a perm would even out the curl.
That was the summer I wore hats.

😂😂 hope it wasn’t a heatwave that year!

halfpasteleven · 16/01/2024 22:02

Laiste · 07/12/2017 17:46

I look pretty good in a clingy mini, I have good legs, my arse is ok.

Repeatedly over the last couple of winters i've gone in full of hope and tried on ..... a Skater Skirt.

''Hmm, nice with opaques and my suede boots i think. Not much different to my straight ones surely ...''

Nope.

Every.single.time i just look like a hippo in a bloody tutu and get depressed Angry:(Confused

They just don't sit right on me either! Yet I keep ordering them thinking this time... this will surely be the one that sits right on my waist...
I'll never learn...

HearMeSnore · 18/01/2024 22:22

Oh good - this thread is still going.

I bought a bouclé knitted tank top. I was going for the geek-chic look, planning to layer it with a loose shirt.

Reality? One of those little bits of carpet that goes underneath the toilet.

Somethingsnappy · 15/03/2024 16:49

Can't believe how long this thread has been going for!

My own addition is a hair disaster many years ago...

I had my very long, wavy, red hair cut into what I hoped would be a flattering pixie cut. I didn't really have a chance to scrutinise it in the salon, as I'm always too embarrassed to preen in front of the mirror. I looked at my reflection back home however...

Gazing back at me from my bedroom mirror, with a matching expression of giddy anticipation on his face, was Rupert Grint.

PlantsHaveTakenOverMyHome · 17/03/2024 16:16

hollygolipo · 07/12/2017 18:27

I bought the red Zara frayed edge coat and looked like a member of a Beatles tribute act. Also spent £400 on a beautiful soft leather jacket only to see Suzi Quattro's fat nan staring back at me in the mirror.

Absolutely crying!!! 😂😂😂

SlightlyJaded · 26/10/2024 19:32

I have been forced to revive this thread after my TWO 'cool' winter items arrived this morning.

Silver Jeans
Was going to wear with slouchy t-shirt, chunky grey boots and neon earrings. Expectation: Rock n roll / Primrose Hill set / but not too try hard.
Reality: Cheap astronaut costume

Hat
Soft grey trilby style hat with neon pink feather
Expectation: Retired model / country weekend / clay pigeon shooting with rich friends like, maybe, Guy Ritchie
Reality: Kojak

Both going back.

Holyknight · 26/10/2024 22:02

SlightlyJaded well that would have been a disappointment. Kodak was cool though. Buy a chupa chup and you have look