Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

[Swimminguphill]

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

Colonel Gadaffi - priceless

Toss Daily- you win!

I've had hundreds of haircuts. I'd say 99% of them have been bobs which I've been more than happy with. On Friday, the hairdresser was obviously channelling this thread as I have indeed joined the Lego Legion

“TheWindy Miller Years.”

I’m actually crying at this one.

In the 90's I bought a trendy black bowler hat, to match a long black woollen coat.
I thought elegant city woman, in reality : undertaker.

Worse bit was I walked past the undertakers at the end of the street on my way to and from work, so it looked like I was coming out from them after a night shift.
Took me ages to realise my mistake too.

Bump! Thanks to pp who posted a link to the thread from another thread. I have been crying with laughter, and minutes before school run remembered I'd put mascara on this morning. Desperate scrubbing of face...

Just read this thread. Holigoli wins with her ‘grain silo’ look.

Anything green makes me look as though sired by Wheelie Bin out of Overgrown Evergreen

This thread is the one that keeps on giving. Love it when someone resurrects it!

A soft bralette top, which I am assured will suit 'larger' ladies.
Expectation: Comfortable and chic, with a hint of lace peeking out of the v neck of my top.
Reality: The puny lace and elastic was no match for the size and weight of my norks. Every time I moved it looked like two ferrets were having a fight in the front of my shirt.

I know it's a zombie thread but thought you might like to know that I got a lovely black vinyl raincoat off a vintage stall. I thought I looked like some sort of cool spy. DS' dad looked at it and went 'Wicked Uncle Ernie!'

I bought a cap sleeved black jumpsuit, hoping to look like an effortlessly chic off duty danish designer.

First time I wore it, dh asked what time I was off to fight the karate kid

Age 18, back in the 80s I opted for an ultra trendy perm, at great expense. Imaging one of Charlie's Angels.

when I came out, all I needed was a plastic rain hood, and I was set for a night at the bingo with all the other 70year olds.

I bought myself a cape thinking I would look stylish and chic on my commute (but not too hot as the tube is god awful) a la Audrey Hepburn. My 8 year old squinted at me and said admiringly ohh mummy you look lovely, just like Mary Poppins

I wore a Halloween outfit for the first time ever this year. I’d lost a stone and was feeling ok.
I got told I looked like Grotbags, remember her?!

I bought my first ever pair of Doc martens....@64. I thought I'd give the boots/long floaty skirt 'aging rock chick' a go. OMG..... (1) they absolutely kill me, and (2) I look like a demented bag lady.

Elegant casual lounge wear.

Reality- the girl playing Karen Matthews in that Sheridan Smith drama

Bought an on trend yellow flowery, floaty midi dress in the summer, teamed with over sized pink tinted sunglasses imagining myself glamorous boho chic..... reality Sue Pollard!

The 90s: mustard yellow trousers with red shoes. Looked like I should have been presenting Chockablock.

Guys I’m actually crying with laughter and I’ve only read to page 3.... woke up dd who asked very worriedly if I was ok 🤣

Also, I need to add everything I have ever tried on ever- bought anywhere, any style or pattern.
It’s a mystery. My best friend is a similar shape, size, weight, hair colour yet trying on the same item of clothing always leaves her looking quite normal while I look like I need a psychiatric assessment.
I am not a conventional shape. She tries hard to lie but ultimately it’s laugh or cry and she knows I see through her lies... so laugh it is. Short, fat hourglass, massive bazoongas, no neck.
At least my girls got their dads height and are leggy and gorgeous!

IN the 90s I had an electric blue PVC trouser suit.

Expectation: clubber extraordinaire
Reality: Giant frozen-themed Christmas bauble

I have also come to the sad conclusion that I Must Not Wear Woolly Hats. I imagine I will look like Claudia Schiffer in Love Actually, or some sort of Alpine, cheeks-aglow, winsome beauty. But multiple failures have proved that I just look like I have got away from my carer and am on the hunt for crayons to eat.

poppym12 Properly Lol'd at that!

This thread fat too many for me to pick:

Nice, green harem trousers
Expectation- laid back beach chic
Reality- Aladdin

Over the knee boots
Expectation- sexy yet chic
Reality- streetwalker

Pixie crop
Expectation- Frankie from the saturdays
Reality- Justin Bieber

Oh lord... I'm actually crying and howling with laughter my sides hurt what a brilliant thread!.. Quite new to MN and this thread just wins everything!!! 😂 😂 😂
The what time I was off to fight karate kid and the frozen Christmas bauble

Thanks everyone. Despite the fact I have read most of these before, I've popped back and I'm snorting and crying at my desk. Must remember to come back whenever I'm feeling a little glum!

this thread never fails to make me laugh, with sympathy and recognition! I once inadvertantly did double denim about 20 years ago. I could n't find a jacket I liked to wear with jeans when I went out with friends. Ended up buying a denim blazer (I hadn't thought it through) and when I think back I cringe. No one would sit by me in the pub. Have also made the velvet leggings mistake- looked like I'd been upholstered. Who remembers the poncho craze? I tried. I looked like an old sofa with a throw over it.