Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

[Swimminguphill]

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

Oh dear....still carrying post-natal weight....don’t fit in to my usual clothes....maternity wear is too maternity (except the jeans which are a god sent gift)....so I head out to buy some new tops.

Haven’t felt remotely stylish for a long time so opted for a chic Breton style top.........how did I forget the widening effect of horizontal stripes?😩

I looked like the back end of the Laughing Cow or La Vache Qui Rit 🐄

I’m sitting her in a wine bar alone with a glass of wine, Mutley-laughing like a fiend! Cracking thread!

This thread has made me laugh so much!

Hair. When I was about 12, the mobile hairdresser cut my hair from long to what I can only describe as Aled Jones. Total choir boy hair. I looked in the mirror and cried.

Age 22, I went to an expensive salon and told them to do what would suit me. The hairdresser cut it 1cm short all over and dyed it white blonde. Think Mr. C from the The Shamen's mug shot. I wore a hat for a full summer.

I know this is an old thread but just wanted to add my own experience.

In the 80s I decided to jump on the bandwagon and get a perm. I have very dark hair and had envisioned long loose glossy waves. Unfortunately the perm was so tight that it shortened my hair dramatically and when I walked into my boyfriend's mum's house afterwards his brother-in-law shouted "bloody hell it's Colonel Gaddafi"

YES just wanted to post as I am so happy this has been resurrected!

Also Colonel Gaddafi is hilarious

@Lentilbaby

I'm right there with you. This week I had my second (first ended in tears) foray into clothes shopping post baby.

Bought a green floral wrap dress from Primark to pair with my beautiful straw sun hat.

Expectation: Summery Hot Mama
Reality: Hyacinth Bucket 😣

Polo neck tops on me. I have wide-ish square shoulders and a small head. I'd like to look sleek yet casual, the perfect balance between smart and relaxed for a weekend visit, think Duchess of Cambridge at Sandringham. The reality is a Gary Larson cartoon dog owner.

Also wanted to say I feel the pain of everyone who has wasted money on ebay purchases. I bought four dresses in the last three weeks and they all look shit. Never again :(

Jumpsuit:

On the model, svelte member of a crime-fighting crew.

On me, Soviet tractor factory worker.

This thread kept me entertained during my nightshift last night.

It's brilliant!

White floaty cotton sundress
In my mind- in a timotei ad from the 80s
Reality- escaped from a Victorian lunatic asylum

As a child my mum put me in a large checked tartan pattern linen suit. For a party. I looked like I was off to a clowning academy.

As a student I wire a velvet cowboy hat. I was hoping for a Madonna vibe. Reality: Vengaboys.

Also a student. Wore a secondhand big Victorian style skirt which retrospectively was made of curtains for a play or something. I though I looked or cool and quirky. I just looked like a total muppet.

A cream aran knit hat.

Expectation: Snug winter style, with crisp snow, rosy cheeks in a laughing face while throwing snowballs for delighted children.
Reality: Toad from Super Mario Bros.

Navy relaxed fit jumpsuit.

Expectation: off duty Danish designer.

Reality: dental hygienist.

Who didn't love the Britpop years? Louise Wener was my idol and I tried so very hard to be her. But, Declan Donnelly. Every time.

Love this thread.

At ten years old I teamed a 'Princess Diana' haircut (done very badly by my mother) with a white polo neck jumper and a short kilt. I thought I looked good.

With my lovely NHS pink specs, I resembled the love child of Shaggy and Velma from Scooby Doo.

Colonel Gadaffi.......

Age 18- my first proper pay in my first proper job.
I dashed out to get a hip perm.

I looked like a dog with a bad haircut.

If I had a blue rinse and a plastic rainhood, I could have had a role with Les Dawson.

My colleagues all stared at me on the Monday but luckily avoided mentioning anything hair related (and it was a bloody obvious mad hair cut). One or two did snicker but tried to hide it.

6 loooong months

I've bought a beautiful sparkly dress for the Christmas party this year and, OK, I was a little ambitious about the size. I look like a fat sparkly sausage.

Colonel Gadaffi. Can't stop laughing.

This is a beautiful thread .

I bought a dress at the weekend for my 50th.

I, drunkenly, thought I looked Bowieish. I actually looked like Dorian from Birds of a Feather.

the rod stewart feather cut i begged mum for when i was ten. imagined id look a cool rock chick reality like id been let out of somewhere secure plus it took years for hair to recover

Years ago I actually bought some tartan pyjama bottoms thinking they'd look great with boots and nobody would ever know. The first time I ever wore them, the first person I spoke to said 'ooh, I've got pyjamas just like those!' I was mortified and had to spend the whole day wearing them!

Have loved this thread!

I had a babysitter in the 90s who had long curly hair, she told me it was a perm. I was now desperate for a perm and begged my mum. She finally gave in. I was most horrified that my chin length bob complete with fringe had not somehow miraculously grown into long curls... I looked like the mushroom thing from super Mario. Awful!

Also, at my son's birthday party one year after losing a ton of weight on slimming world I wore leather look leggings with a tucked in sheer leapord print blouse and thigh high suede tassel boots. I thought I'd look effortlessly chic and slim. My sister asked me why I was dressed like a 70s male porn star....