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Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

689 replies

Swimminguphill · 07/12/2017 15:16

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

OP posts:
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57
UterusUterusGhali · 13/12/2017 20:40

My pelvic floor was tested by "fat match". Grin

ASDismynormality · 13/12/2017 21:12

I had my hair cut, was expecting a tidy bob. My hair was more curly than it used to be and I just looked like Micky Flannigan!

nigelschristmasham · 13/12/2017 22:08

Mavis Cruet.Im crying laughing.

SleepIsForTheWeek · 13/12/2017 23:09

Another hair disaster here.
Hairdresser: You've got a lovely wave to your hair, has no-one ever suggested you make the most of it?
Me: Someone has seen something in me that others haven't...
Ends up looking like the lead singer of an all female 80s soft rock band who specialise in power ballads.
Flatmate an hour later: Hahahahahahaha

Onlyme100 · 13/12/2017 23:15

bought a black sparkly, frill shoulder knitted top for Christmas.... thought I looked on trend until my dd pointed out that Halloween was over. ....refund!

clumsyduck · 13/12/2017 23:29

Thanks for the laughs ladies I'm in stitches at some of these !!

Nothing to add as I don't do online shopping as I don't think iv ever had a successful purchase !!

SingaSong12 · 14/12/2017 00:45

clumsy I seem to manage these purchases in store as well from online. Stuff looks so much more flattering when I'm in the changing room than when I get it home.

Knittedfairies · 14/12/2017 11:28

Stuff looks so much more flattering when I'm in the changing room than when I get it home

Absolutely true; the lighting in the changing room/mirror angles can make a big difference in how something looks.

Lentilbaby · 14/12/2017 12:27

Brilliantly white converse trainers

Expectation: A cool, casual, sporty but smart look with an expensive pair of skinny jeans

Reality: Size 8 feet. Looked like a golf club.

Kochicoo · 14/12/2017 12:48

I bought a long, red, wool coat thinking how stylish I would look. The reality was that Gerry Cottle's Circus was missing a ringmaster.

As for flattering shop mirrors, I have the opposite problem. My full length mirror at home is ridiculously flattering. On the upside, for the 6 months after my very sleep averse dd was born and I barely left the house, I couldn't believe how much better I looked than pre-dd. The downside is that I've had to learn the hard way not to take the tags off online purchases until I've taken everything to my Mum's to check in her mirrors. Many a time I've thought I look great and then I walk past a mirror in a shop and think ohhhhh.

IvorBiggun · 14/12/2017 13:30

I went to have a fringe cut in.

Expectation: Bridget Bardot crossed with Debbie Harry chic.

Reality: crested guinea pig.

HLBug · 14/12/2017 14:42

Thought I’d buy a super comfy navy duffle coat for maternity leave with DD.

Expectation : cosy chic with snuggly fake fur hood, perfect for lovely long pram walks through the park.

Reality : Paddington. Especially when teamed with red wellies. Blush

SparklyLights · 14/12/2017 14:52

I bought a 69s style knee length collarless leopard print topshop fake pony fur coat because sienna miller looked amazing in that very coat, thrown casually over her shoulders on a dinner date with a black dress. She looked all 60s Bardot. I looked all Bet Lynch and try-hard and have never worn it out. Cost £120 or something like that so it was a bit of an expensive waste.

SparklyLights · 14/12/2017 14:53

*60’s!

SparklyLights · 14/12/2017 14:56

If you google sienna miller topshop leopard coat you’ll see the one! She wore it a lot. It really suited her- just not me!

Still a-hangin’ In my wardrobe.... Sad

Tattybear16 · 14/12/2017 15:24

Laughed out loud at this, where to start too many too count.

Purchased a gorgeous bronze dress for an event, absolutely gorgeous until I tried it on. I looked like a toffee in it out of a tub of quality street. Sent it back for a refund.

A dress with stripes, I though I looked great until my partner said I looked like a barcode. Gutted, but he was right.

Stripes, I never learn, chose a dress with wider stripes for my next foray into blogger fashion and my daughter said I looked like a chevron road sign. sent it back.

Stunning pair of cream evening trousers which I purchased from Debenhams, looked great on the hanger, unfortunately they were that wide at the bottom I looked like Elvis.

Now on first name terms with Pat in my local post office.

Dyed my hair to a rich mahogany colour thankyou garnier nutrisse, I was really pleased, unfortunately my recent bob haircut makes me look like Willy Wonker.

IHaveBrilloHair · 14/12/2017 16:37

Tattybear, at least you are on first name terms with Pat from the post office.
Unfortunately I'm on first name terms with the bank manager about my overdraft, and I've a wardrobe 3 wardrobes and some drawers full of hideous clothing.

SparklyLights · 14/12/2017 17:20

Willy wonky Grin

I forgot the short silver puffer coat because Gigi had one and looked amazing, mine wasn’t designer like hers though so I look like a cheap fat turkey wrapped in tinfoil. Meant to send it back but was from abroad seller on eBay so it never happened... still hanging out with the leopard coat on the wardrobe... at least it has company.

Gingernaut · 14/12/2017 18:06

*Ratonastick, this woman can rock a cape.

vintagevixon.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/new-clothes-for-old-travel-packing-snow.html?m=1

A vintage clothing dealer, fan and wearer. Vintage Vixen is my bloody hero.

I'm so short, I'd look like a Cluedo piece.

Gingernaut · 14/12/2017 18:06

Bold fail again. Sorry Ratonastick.

IHaveBrilloHair · 14/12/2017 18:44

Cluedo piece

Sorry, sorry, but Cluedo piece.

I narrowly avoided a cape horror, I showed it to Dd before I ordered and she said, 'sure Mother, if you want to look like the theatre curtain has fallen on you'
Good save DdGrin

Gingernaut · 14/12/2017 19:37

My mother was good with wool.

I wore a woollen, crocheted, summer dress in three different colours (beige, moss and rose) for sleeves, bodice and skirt, a pink balaclava with a cable stitch running down the middle like a tyre track, a number of crocheted and knitted berets, a purple and turquoise poncho and a variety of hand knitted jumpers.

I'd see them being made and get all excited, but the reality was just awful.

I saw a grey, flappy fronted jersey jacket in a charity shop once.

The oversized lapels were covered in a combination of metal sequins and beads and the jacket was held onto the hanger with the shoulder ribbons.

The brass sequins were so substantial, they could have passed for washers.

I thought the jacket looked 'rock chick glam-ish' and bought it, imagining I could wear it with jeans and a T-shirt.

Nope. The washers and beads clinked together like chainmail, the weight of them covering the lapels pulled the jacket forward, so it resembled a bolero from the back and the lapels and most of the front of the jacket, kept trying to go under my armpits, with the lapels ending up at waist level.

I cut the sequins off, put them in recycling and threw the jacket in the rag bag. It was unwearable.

nigelschristmasham · 14/12/2017 21:32

I think crested Guinea pigs are very cute Grin

Gingernaut · 14/12/2017 21:59

Hair disasters have been numerous.

Growing up in 70s and 80s, perms and big hair were in.

My hair is so thick and heavy, that once it reaches a certsin length, it pulls itself straight.

Not realising this and having dry red hair (very absorbant), I thought I'd get a perm.

I totally fell for "It's gonna be corkscrew bit loose, not tight. You'll be able to run your fingers through your hair. You won't look like your gran. Or a poodle. Honest."

Picture 1 - What I was promised and hoped for.

Picture 2 - How I walked out of the salon.

Picture 3 - How it looked after it had grown out for a few months.

Utter, nightmare.

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
Lentilbaby · 14/12/2017 22:23

Liked this but after reading this thread, it has got ‘No’ written all over it! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?
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