Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

[Swimminguphill]

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

Ecclesiastes...that's inspired! Im going to keep them because they are warm and also because if I follow your advice they will also improve my deportment!

Had my hair cut day.
Expectation: gamine pixie chic
Reality: Lego character

^

Freakin GOLD

A few months ago I wore a short tulle skirt with tights with a shirt tucked in, gold sequin blazer and leopard print ankle boots. I thought I was just treading the right line of 'slightly different/interesting'. About halfway through the night I caught myself in a full length mirror in the loos and I looked much closer to this:

But also a beautiful pink sparkly number from Plumo. Lusted after it for ages, finally found a reason to buy it and... I looked like a fat fairy.

Hmmm, Thehair
I've just turned 40 and part of me is, "oh, I don't give a shit what anyone thinks, I'll wear this if I want to"
But of course deep down I do care and although I might think I rock the red leather kilt, I'm a tad worried I'll be more Liz McDonald/Rod Stewart in drag than I'd hoped for.
I was going to wear it with a crisp tucked in white shirt but up thread has told me no one looks good in that.

Time to schedule a shopping trip to Bon Marche I think.

I was inspired by a scene in the film The Devil wears Prada where Anne Hathaway’s character wears a flat cap. I envisioned myself as a jaunty,
French-looking, elegant woman...in a flat cap. In reality I looked like I was just heading out to look for a heifer that had escaped from the back field.

My sisters still mock me about that flat cap. And every so often ask me when I’m starting up my own Peaky Blinders gang.

I still remember in the late 90s when I got my hair cut into a what I imagined was the Gywneth Paltrow Sliding Doors haircut. According to my Dad, it was more David Beckham than Gywinnie.

And I've got a fairly recent one - I bought that M&S navy satin shirtwith the big puffy sleeves after seeing it on a couple of bloggers thinking it would be perfect for Christmas parties - I've worn it once (with black skinnies and metallic boots) and I felt like that bonkers chef Michael O'Hare. Plus, the bows at the elbow kept coming undone and I had to get my friend to do them up as I couldn't manage them one handed!

I have never laughed (well, snorted) so much on a thread. I wish I could remember my many, many fashion disasters but afraid I have banished them from memory in shame.
Thanks all. Especially for Hamble.

I bought some fab harem type trousers from Cos, I really like them and they look acceptable. I decided to improve said look, and to do this I needed some new trainers. And they had to sparkly. Fuck knows why.... I looked like Aladdin and not in a good way 😆😆😆

The 70s, ah the 70s....
Lulled by the pictures of soft focus maidens strolling through fields of wildflowers, I finally succumbed to
The Laura Ashley Long dress. Floral

Reality
Laura Ashley chaise longue. Floral

I bought this frock for my grad ball in the summer thinking I had a voluptuous figure and the confidence to carry it off. Tried it on to show my 4dds who told me I looked like that character from a film, after questioning it turned out to be Ursula from the little mermaid

I chose a different dress for the ball.

These are epic!

Me: cute, practical, short hair...
Mother "you look like a lesbian extra from prisoner cell block H"

Me: I wonder what I look like in a tulle skirt
Mirror: Mavis Cruet.

IHave please don't be disheartened. This thread is just laughing at ourselves and I think it would be a real shame if it put people off experimenting.

All fashion is inherently silly. Even things I thought were pretty tame 15 years ago look ridiculous now. It doesn't matter.

And some people do look good in a crisp white tucked in shirt. In fact I think I can look pretty good myself tucked in - just not in white! We're all different.

And wear that kilt!

Kind of mashed potato monster.

I love the "military look" trend that comes round every few years. It suits me, but the khaki shirt-dress with epulates I bought last year combined with my colouring and penchant for scarves made me look like a female Kurdish paramilitary.

Not a terrible look, but not really a look for Sainsbury's.

@Floisme Well said!! The experimental nature of fashion is what makes it so fun! Ladies, I salute you all for your wonderful wit, your marvelous story telling and of course your services to fashion! 🤘🏼

Just returned to this thread.....crying at 'the Windy Miller years'

This thread rang in my ears today when I discovered our local sainsburys had a massive sale in their TU department.

Beautiful soft knitted jumper, cable knit, grey- thinking Christmas hit video, snowballs, cocoa by the fire.
Reality- an elephant with my face.

Each of these posts are funny, but together they are hysterical.

My husband wears a hat that makes him look like a mahoosive roller ball deodorant..

at 'an elephant with my face'

A red knitted Phase Eight dress.

I looked like a tomato - it was a particularly unflattering length on me and made me look spherical.

The only upside was I sold it on Ebay for a profit - had to take the photos of the dress hanging up as no bugger would have purchased it if they had seen it on me

And I've just remembered the parka that I was so thrilled with until DO pointed out I looked like Kenny off Southpark

What a fantastic read this thread is! You are all great!!

Mahoosive roller ball deodorant!!!

Lollol