Because of my shyness I came out of a chip shop with a portion of fish...

[MysticTed]

Instead of a cone of chips.

Which is what I asked for but was too embarrassed to correct the woman serving me.

So I ended up eating a massive battered cod on its own for lunch.

Can you please share any silly scenarios you've been in because if your lack of assertiveness to make me feel I'm not alone!

At high school I walked into a pillar hard. I wasn't looking where I was going as I was chatting to friends. By the time I turned to face ahead it was too late. I hit it so hard that I knocked myself backwards onto the floor and sat stunned for a few seconds. The laughter around me propelled me onto my feet and I tried to laugh it off despite feeling awful. I went through the rest of the day feeling dizzy and sick with a lump on my head but didn't complain. Pretty sure I was concussed.
Another time someone had unscrewed the lid on the salt shaker so that when I used it I ended up with the full bottle of salt on my chips. Pretended it was fine, ate most of them, went to throw up.

Thanks Houghtonk, just looked up Troop Beverly Hills and it does look right up my street plus it’s on Netflix according to google. I saw last week that the house they used for exterior shots for the Money Pit is up for sale if you have a few $$ spare! There’s some photos here Daily Mail article

Ah the Bowie bulge! I’m not normally one for celeb mourning but I’m still sad he has gone.

We are buying a new house at the moment. Admittedly, it's quite a big house for 2 people. When DP went to view it the vendor had been told by the agent that we had kids. He didn't correct her. When I went back with him to view it she told us all about the previous offer that had fallen through and how she didn't know why on earth anyone would buy that house for just 2 people. She then asked us whether we had a boy or a girl. There was a long pause, and DP replied 'a boy'.

We laughed about it later and what idiots we were.

Yesterday DP got a phone call from her saying their offer had been successful, chain was now complete and they were buying a property just down the road from our new house. God knows what she'll think when she's walking past and there's never any sign of this mythical child.

I have never told anyone this as it is so embarrassing and pathetic of me. When I was 17 I got in a cab to go home after school from the local town to the village where I lived The village was 10 miles west of the town but about 6 miles to the towns east was another village with a name almost the same (only the last 3 letters differed). Driver clearly either didn't know my village (pre Sat nav) or misheard as it soon became clear he was taking me to the wrong village I was too shy to tell him so ended up around 15 miles from home and this was before mobile phones were common. I had to find a phone box and call another cab to take me to the right place.

I'm watching The Money Pit right now thanks to this conversation.

Ive been going to the same family run opticians for 30 years. The father has retired and now it's run by his son. I work in Construction but not site based. For 17 years they've both thought I was a Civil Engineer working on exciting projects the world over because I didn't correct the Father when he asked what I did for a living and he got all passionate about bridges and the magic of engineering! So every 2 years I have the same conversation about what exciting project I'm now building!

I've got better though, told a sales assistant at the airport that I could get the glasses cheaper in the UK and handed them back when she insisted I tried them on the other day 😀

I'm sitting here praying that my baby will sleep enough to let me go through another couple of pages of the "Life in the UK test" book, read this thread during a coffee break and I'm realising that I already deserve a British passport even if I can't remember what age Edward VI died
2011 I was at a conference in my home country, we had Sunday free and went to visit a famous landmark. Ticket was 8 euros, someone in the group gave 50 but was returned 12 claiming she had given 20. The guy pretended not to speak English (impossible for that job), so I was forced to speak up and argue with him for the poor girl as I was the only native, it was so embarrassing I would have rather died. Had it happened to me, I would have happily walked out with my 12 euros!

I’m the sort of person who is always early or on time. When I’m getting a bus, I’d rather be an hour and 5 mins early and hang around for ages than 5 mins early. But (I don’t know why I do this...) if the person I’m meeting asks if I’ve been waiting long I always lie and say “oh not too long, just a couple of minutes” when I know full well I’ve been waiting an hour or more....

I’m also one to hurt myself and not mention how bad it was. I sprained my ankle at Freshers week and I laughed it off and kept dancing on it cos I didn’t want to kill the vibe... the next day it was like an actual balloon...

I got my nails done yesterday for the first time in years and promptly scraped my freshly painted nail across the heat lamp and ruined it. I’d have left with it ruined so I didn’t waste anyone’s time if the other customer next to me hadn’t loudly said “we’ve all been there smudging the polish” drawing the nail techs attention back to me.

Oh I've done that Sproutish, except nobody saw and said anything, so I left with a terribly smudged nail. The worst thing is that I'd got engaged the night before (while staying at a spa hotel, conveniently!) and had to show off my ring to everyone while trying to hide my index finger nail.

DH's dad is none too subtle and guffawed about it. Humph!

I laughed off (my sprained ankle) and kept dancing on it cos I didn't want to kill the vibe Sorry that really made me laugh

Another one: when I was about 17 and working in retail I spent a good hour making the display beds look nice by plumping cushions and straightening the bedding. Senior colleague comes up to me 20 mins later and tells me to go and tidy the bed area as it’s in a right mess. I just agreed and went over and just stood doing nothing but pretending to be busy. Why I didn’t tell her I’d already done it I’ll never know. I think she was just a bit of a cow though really!

I was queueing somewhere with my exDH years ago. It the queue for somehing (can't remember what) and then returned and put my arms around is waist and snuggled up to my xDH's back, and said "love you".

It was someone else with the same jumper and no hair!!!

I just said sorry and ran away without looking back.

I used to give a work colleague lifts to and from work for about 3 years, he was the most boring person on the planet! 45 minutes each way every day for 3 years listening to him compare the prices of his daily shopping basket and what new bicycle part he had purchased lately....I was too embarrassed to say no more so I faked moving away to another village so he was no longer on my route. Had to change my HR records and go another route home for another 3 years in case I saw him waiting for the bus!

How many times told hairdressers I loved my hair, when trying to fight back the tears!

I used to hide from the window cleaners, but they now work as a team, so one person does the front and one does the back. It's impossible to hide, so I pick up my laptop and pretend to work instead!

i feel on edge when the window cleaner comes round/. not sure why, he has his ear buds in and only knocks for payment, but the whole time he is here i feel awkward! its so weird and i have got worse as i have aged with the whole awkward, not speaking up thing when things are wrong.
its better for me if he has been and gone and i;ve been at work / or just out. The sense of relief and its all irrational.

I got off my bus a stop before I needed to, which meant a walk up a large hill because my next door neighbour was on the bus and I couldn't face an awkward walk home with them.

I have one got a delivery from a food shop coming today never done it before set it up to come this evening then changed my mind and set it for tomorrow because it was more convenient. They just rung and said would you like it tonight and that people are happy when they ask if they'd like it delivered soon so of course I said yeah that would be great
It's good that I get my food tonight bad that I have to rework the nursery run and get DH to do it because I can't make up my mind

I paid £60 for a massage and was so looking forward to it. For about 20 minutes of it she was kneading?? (Is that the right phrase) so hard I actually had tears in my eyes and all I could think was 'please stop, please stop' It was agony. It was a 'relaxation' one too! At the end I just squeaked 'thanks' and practically ran away. I was kicking myself for not telling her but I would have felt awkward afterwards as massage is quite intimate.

I fell asleep on the bus when I was already cutting it fine for a meeting. Then, instead of getting off the bus, I text my husband to ask what to do. Cried a bit then finally got off after 10 minutes. Oh the shame when the same bus came back after about 20 minutes and I'm sure the driver recognised me.

I love this thread, I’ve definitely done a fair few of these. Not the cherry thing though as I don’t like cherries

I’ve taken many a parcel in for a neighbour even when I’ve really not wanted to because I don’t want to inconvenience the delivery driver. Most of the time I just don’t answer the door but sometimes I get caught out.

I've been crying reading this thread. MN, please don't let it go pfft, can it be moved somewhere (not sure where though) - is it Classics worthy?

I've done the fruit thing - it was a tiny punnet of strawberries in Spain years ago, and because it was down a side road in a non touristy place I just asked for them and assumed I'd get change from my €5 note - I didn't but was too embarrassed to say in that case thanks but no thanks!

Also had an excruciating massage and had to pretend I enjoyed it as it was a treat from someone else.

Gierg I do that too! I never admit to being superearly because super important and confident people always rock up late or bang on time, don't they?

Morning all - we're going to shimmy this to classics!

I'm going to do a reverse (as I'm quite proud of it)!

In the summer we were on holiday and spent a couple of nights in a famously swanky city. I shopped on my own on one of the days and stopped at a posh, busy cafe.

I was starving so I (untypically) ordered a cake with my coffee, but what arrived was literally a giant plate containing three cream filled, chocolate topped buns, with two huge scoops of vanilla ice cream in between them and the whole lot swimming in chocolate sauce.

Everyone in the cafe seemed to be staring at me when it arrived, and they all looked a size 8! I just paid for my coffee and explained that I couldn't possibly eat such a thing and sent it back.

As I left I heard a very snooty waiter say "She looks to me like she could eat it"! 😂😂

Yay! Thanks Sophie!