Because of my shyness I came out of a chip shop with a portion of fish...

[MysticTed]

Instead of a cone of chips.

Which is what I asked for but was too embarrassed to correct the woman serving me.

So I ended up eating a massive battered cod on its own for lunch.

Can you please share any silly scenarios you've been in because if your lack of assertiveness to make me feel I'm not alone!

In the course of my work I sometimes encounter well known people but I hate that feeling of 'you know who they are but they don't know you' so I either blank them or talk to them but pretend I have no idea who they are whilst inwardly cringing. I could never ever ask for a photo or anything.

The chaplain at the university I work at is convinced that I am my boss. I've never had the heart to correct him. Every time we pass, he solemnly greets me by her name and has been known to congratulate me for an event my department ran.
Luckily, he doesn't work with my department at all, but he's clearly been told that the lady in charge is short and dark-haired, and picked the wrong short and dark haired one!
My boss does know, and thinks it's all quite amusing.

Oh my god these are really amazing 😂😂😂 I'm a hard nosed cow so don't exactly think I can contribute too well, other than that the reason I drink tea now is because I was made it in my first job, hated it, had to drink it and so on. Got used to it in the end and never said a word.

I once went for a one of those job interviews that involve loads of different tasks and take all day. I only went for the experience, I loved my part time casual job and wasn't ready for this much more intense role at a really quite intimidating place.

Of course I bloody got the job and was too embarrassed to admit that I didn't want it!

I was there for 2 fucking years and hated every minute of it.

Madness

Went to a clinic to have an injection. The nurse said, "Oh, I remember you! Yes, I do! You're the lady with the lisp!"

"Er... yeth", I said (and continued in a similar vein for the rest of the appointment).

I don't have a lisp. But she seemed so pleased and I didn't want her to feel disappointed

Oh God, this one is worse.

Aged 12, on a school skiing trip. I fell badly and my (broken) leg was agonising, but I didn't want to make a fuss, so I said "ow... ow..." in a low-key sort of way. As a result, the teachers thought I'd just jarred my leg, and encouraged me to get up and see if I could put my full weight on it.

I went into shock and had to be blue-lighted to hospital in Geneva.

I once got a park and ride bus back from a strange town.

It started driving through the huge car park I had parked in and I just assumed it would stop as it had on the way out. No, it carried on and ended up at a university campus about a mile away. Then the driver turned it off and got out and sparked up a cigarette, obviously on his break

I was so (inexplicably) embarrassed that I pretended to be asleep and he "woke me up" and I acted all amazed and disoriented. And had to walk back to the car park in painful shoes with heavy bags.

My mum fell in an aerobics class and carried on the rest of the session with a broken arm as she didn't want a fuss.

Oh! You just reminded me of one, Fair , altho this is more my stupidity than anything else. I was pratting about with my new boyfriend (at the time) and the horses and decided to vault onto the back of one. Now I've done that countless times, he's barely reacted. Not that day. He bucked and caught me off guard and I landed hard on my side, foot bent under me. Looked down and I could see the sole of my boot. Ouch. Laughed and got up, boyfriend looked worried but laughed when I did. Walked back into the house... my boot had to be cut off, along with my jodhpurs, because my ankle was broken and it had swollen to fuck because I'd been a twat and tried to'walk it off' 😂
He's never let me forget that one

The nurse said, "Oh, I remember you! Yes, I do! You're the lady with the lisp!"

That would really have not been ok if you were the lady with the lisp!

That did cross my mind afterwards, Margaret. I don't know what came over me, but I was much younger and less assertive then.

"Walk it off" - yes, that's what they said to me too, Everything

I've done most of these. Although the cherries dp took back for a refund (which he will not let go but it was our last £8). Worst ever was when I was playing with the kids in the garden ndn said hi over the fence, exchanged small talk, I couldn't really hear her and after the first three "sorry what was that?" I gave a tinkly laugh, that's nice come on kids lunch. Wasn't until DS said "mummy whats a funeral?" I realised, I hadn't seen her husband for a while. She was telling me he'd died and she was organising the funeral. I LAUGHED. Still feel awful and try to pay more attention

I once accepted five BAGS of bananas on my online food delivery costing £7 odd, realising I had clicked the wrong item, I should have ordered five individual bananas!

I had the opposite once on cherries. Picked up some first season cherries in Tesco which I knew were expensive. Woman at till weighted them said 'oh love, they're £4.50 - you don't want to pay that for a few cherries'. And I thanked her for pointing this out, said I hadn't realised and didn't buy them

This has happened to me twice. I was at a food fair once and it had an olive stall. I love olives so went and chose some. It had plastic tubs like the Morrisons salad bar. Dutifully filled my tub and it came to £36!!! I was so embarrassed I paid for them and skipped my rent that week as I only thought they'd be a fiver!

Same thing happened again at a pick n mix stall in a shopping centre. The whole bag came to over £25. I just had to pay because I was too embarrassed to say it was too much!

God I'm such a wimp!

Oh God, yes! Went in a shop in Petticoat Lane years ago that was having a sale. Picked up a suit and misread the ticket - thought it was £24 - got to the till and it was £124. Too embarrassed to say anything so I bought it. The thing was I wasn't even sure I liked it, but thought I'd take a chance as it was cheap. I only wore it once.

Someone asked if I was Julie's daughter, I said yes as my mother is called Julie. However as the conversation carried on it became clear we were talking about different Julies so I ended up telling her my mother was doing fine living in America and yes so and so is still at uni etc.

I've also not bothered to correct strangers who know my sister that I'm not her - not for a whole conversation, just "hello Tina" "Oh yes, hello".

I guess I'm a sort of accidental identity thief.

I had a ' relaxing' massage last week which was so incredibly painful and not in the least bit relaxing. When she asked if the pressure was ok, instead of telling her it was hurting me instead I said yes it's fine'. Then proceeded to grimace and grit my teeth for an hour until I could go home

I was talking to a mum in a park local to me and I had my little baby daughter with me.

Other mum: Oh gosh, he's just lovely, isn't he?!
Me: Oh yes, he is!
Other mum: How old is he?
Me: errrrm 3 months
Other mum: what's his name
Me: Errrrrrmmm Martin.

Fucking MARTIN?! I bumped into her so many times after that as DD was growing up, wearing a bow and a dress etc. Mortified.

I went to my hairdressers for an appointment and they were running behind, chairs were all full, so offered for one of the juniors to do some makeup for me while I waited (they'd just got a new range in and wanted to test it out). I would have much preferred to sit on their comfy lounge and read Facebook, but I felt bad saying no so I dutifully sat in the makeup chair and let the junior slap makeup three inches thick on me. She spent ages on my eyebrows, they ended up looking like two extremely fat, but square, caterpillars crawling towards my nose. My lips were bright red, my cheek bones were accentuated with this strange grey blush stuff and my eyelashes were chunked with mascara. I never wear makeup, this looked atrocious, and it was all so very wrong on me. I didn't realise how awful it was until I sat down to have my hair cut and coloured and I looked in the mirror. My hairdresser knew I looked terrible, I knew I looked terrible, and we both knew that the other knew...but neither of us could say anything because the junior thought she'd done a great job. I had to sit there for nearly two hours having my hair cut, coloured and dried, all the while looking at myself in the mirror, with my hairdresser looking at me as well. Trying to make normal conversation. I tried to find baby wipes in the car but there were none so I had to go home looking like that. DH pissed himself laughing. I have never fallen into that trap again; if they are running behind or the junior is wandering around looking bored, I whip out my phone and starting emailing and Facebooking, and generally trying to look busy.

In a butchers on Christmas Eve. Asked for a rib of beef to feed up to 4.
The butcher goes out the back and is sawing away at something. Comes back with a carrier bag.
'That's £24 please' - (this was about 15 years ago).

It was flippin massive, like something out of the Flintstones. It barely fitted in the oven, I had to remove all the shelves and cook it (for hours and hours) on the oven floor (as such).

I knew as soon as he handed it over and said the price that there had been something lost in translation. We were still eating leftovers at Easter.

I was at a soft play party and saw a table of other mums for the same party, but it was full, so I sat at the next table along, which was empty apart from a party dad, assuming that the mums behind me would join me (not sure why I'd think that as I really only know them to say hi to). They pulled up chairs at the first table instead.
It would have felt rude to move so I made awkward small talk with the dad. Followed by awkward silence.

Sat alone and had a beer in a strip club I'd paid £5 to get in to because I didn't know it was no longer an indie music venue. I was 19