Cringiest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

[Fourtwenty]

We were secretly sent the lyrics to the first dance and as a surprise we all had to stand up and sing it to the couple.

My toes were curling

I will defend rehearsed first dances. I think they are quite sweet as long as not self-indulgently long and sometimes better than the alternative - I can't believe that anyone was particularly entertained watching DH, me and our 4 left feet doing an embarrassed shuffle.

When the bride and groom have a flash wedding then ask for money for the honeymoon plus money for their favourite charity.

The groom used his speech as an opportunity to 'witness for Christ' and tell his story of being 'Born Again', ending by saying how happy he would be if any guests came to Jesus through him. Bride never mentioned. Best Man was the vicar.

We were at one once where the father of the bride really really didn't approve of his new son in law and the whole speech was about saving up for a rainy day and admitting your mistakes as everyone will be there for you.
Only bettered by one at which "all i ask of you" was sung during the register signing with the brides name horrifically shoehorned in to it. I like her new husband much more than the first!

Not exactly cringy, just very sad - the bride crying all the way through the ceremony. Everyone at work knew she'd been having an affair for months with a colleague. Her fiancee was also a colleague but never found out and no-one told him. No idea how long they lasted.

At a friend's wedding it was so obvious the bride didn't want to go through with it. She was in a shocking mood all day. They divorced soon afterwards.

At my sister's wedding the best man was hopelessly in love with my sister - it was obvious for everyone to see. He completely ignored me as maid of honour, and when he did speak to me, he was extremely rude. During his speech he thanked everyone but me. Everyone could see how rude he was being and it was quite embarrassing.

One where the bride refused to throw the 'toss bouquet', and insisted on pitching her real bouquet, which she was doing from almost all the way up a staircase in a country pile. Her bouquet weighed a ton. It took out 9 crystals on an antique chandelier and broke a finger of the catcher's.

Rehearsed first dances are all naff.

My dad at my sisters wedding.
During his speech he announced my pregnancy and him becoming a grandfather sooner than he thought.
I wasn't married and some of the older generation looked a bit shocked.

Groom talked about how he had fallen in love with the bride. All fine, but he phrased it in such a way that it sounded like he wanted to get married, decided he needed to fall in love with someone, and she just happened to be there.

Best man in his speech was bragging about how he introduced the bride who was an old friend to Steve the groom. It started nice you know him being the matchmaker etc.....so happy that Steve and bride got together as "she has slept with all my other mates already so this was the last chance"
Long silence.....we were at table with other mates who all looked horrified and blushing. Just awful, awful awful. Yes we all know she was a slapper but even she didn't deserve that!

I went to one where the bride insisted that the two DC she had with her groom be at the front with her when she took her vows. The DC were so noisy that the registrar couldn't hear the vows being spoken and of course she has to for it to be legal. The registrar kept starting and re-starting and eventually suggested the kids be taken out and the bride went into the biggest melt down you can imagine! It was the most massive cringe fest from start to finish. Everyone to a man wanted those kids out of there as they were clearly so distressed. The right thing for them was to be out of there but no, the bride wanted what the bride wanted. Eventually the registrar put the paperwork in her briefcase and went to leave and then and only then did the bride relent and the MOG was allowed to take the DC out into the fresh air and calm was restored. The groom said not a word as he was and remains so far under the thumb you cannot actually see him.

A heavily pregnant bride, clearly quite drunk, outside smoking a cigarette and screeching at a family member and then throwing a punch at the family member.

Just remembered another, though not actually witnessed by me (or indeed anyone at the time, but came to light after). A friend married his GF and discovered that he couldn't find her late on at the evening disco because she'd been in a laundry cupboard shagging the 'best man'. Annulled within six months rather unsurprisingly.

As current husband left his mothers home on the morning of our wedding, his mother cried 'you've broken my heart by marrying that Geordie slapper'. The videographer ( who was my cousin) deleted that bit so I didn't see it.

It was obviously playing on his mind during the service as when the vicar asked if anyone knew of any lawful impediment to the marriage, my cousin zoomed in on my MIL who had a look of thunder on her face. He had obviously showed a lot of the guests the deleted scene, as when the camera panned out, they were looking at her with baited breath. It's my fave bit of the video.

The other cringeworthy bit was dancing a quickstep with my brother and us both trying to lead. Sibling rivalry at its finest!

I don't think any thing's cheesy at a wedding. It's the one day a couple can be as shameless as they like!
I don't agree. Some couples get so caught up in being mini celebs for the day, they must have a huge come down afterwards, the marriage can't live up to the day and they divorce. I was more excited about the marriage than the wedding day!

At a relative's wedding the best man - also the groom's younger brother - decided to take the opportunity for revenge for every mean thing his big brother had ever done to him... in his best man's speech. At first people tittered politely but before long we just sat there aghast as he basically declared, at length, and with multiple examples that the groom was a complete bastard and their relationship was totally dysfunctional. Awkward!

Oh Lordy, I just remembered my brother in law's groom's speech where he shook the brides father's hand and said "thank you for coming ..... 26 years ago'

Vom

Oh and I went to one where the mother of the bride had had sex with the RC priest doing the ceremony. Her immediate family didn't know but a fair few in the congregation did

I nearly choked, I had to read it twice as the first time I thought it said the mother of the bride had sex with the RC priest during the ceremony. My mind was boggling past any state of boggling I've ever boggled.

A drinking game whenever the DJ played a certain song everyone had to have a big drink of whatever they where drinking. The bride ended up drunk and 🤢. Not the best way to remember your big day 😂😂

StrandedStarFish, after all my boggling your post made me laugh, my husband is looking at me like I'm mad.

Groom knelt on the floor during the pudding course and licked cream from the bride's inner thigh.

Excruciating for all concern.

Apparently my DM went to a wedding in the sixties where a very old priest kept on saying that premarital sex was a mortal sin and everyone there was damned to hell. The bride was pregnant but apparently was so small it was hard to tell, but she gave birth on honeymoon. Poor girl to be patronised like that.

I remember a wedding I attended as a teen. It should, and mostly was, have been a lovely day. However: -
Numpty tries to take a photo of the back if the bride as she walks down the aisle. Numpty treads on brides train and half of it detaches itself from her waist.
Same numpty manages to stain the train later, attempting to reattach it.
The worst thing was the slide show the best man put together. It was all about the life of the groom. It was very sweet to start with.
Until the moment it got onto the year he spent in Africa doing building work.
There were outside showers and someone photographed him using them. Yes, a picture of the groom in the buff, thankfully from behind, but still nude!
As far as the bride was concerned it ruined her day because whenever anyone reminisced about her wedding it was never 'oh the bride looked lovely' or 'the food was nice' but it was always 'ah that picture of the groom in the buff!'
Ah well.
And there was the wedding when the best man decided that his speech was the time to come out as gay. I think he fancied a bit of the limelight, but most people were just a bit at the timing and it wasn't mentioned again.

I was at a wedding where one of the bridesmaids had a serious wardrobe malfunction and the stitching on her dress gave way as she walked into the church. Everyone could see her arse as she walked down the aisle and she didn't have a clue.